Poor Mum

[maude]

Hi all

Just needed to send a quick line. Mum was recently diagnosed with dementia and is due to go to hospital with the hope of being put onto drugs in February. Just last wk i took her for her tests at the doctors surgery,and whilst we were in the waiting room we got talking to a man who announced to us that his wife had alzheimers . I almost freaked as mum had said to dad that those tablets she was going to have were for people with AZ. She did not say much and was very lovely to this gentleman but i know it must have affected her. Since then she has become very sad and depressed. She doesnt get out of bed during the day and dad is finding it hard to know what to do for the best. I am trying to keep her spirits up and encourage her to tell me of any concerns. I have tried to reassure her but to no avail. Does anyone have experience of this and can we expect her to come out of it in her own time. She isnt eating much either and she said to me today that she feels she has no go and is very frustrated that she cannot do the things she used to. My brother said she looked in the mirror at herself this morning and she was so sad. I couldnt help but have a good old cry.(obviously something we all avoid around mum)

If anyone has any ideas or experience they could pass on to me I would be extremely grateful.

Many thanks

Maude

 

[Nutty Nan]

Dear Maude,
I am sorry that you are all having such a 'down' time.
It is difficult (if not dangerous) to make suggestions with relatively little background knowledge, but ...... have you mentioned your Mum's low spirits to her GP or consultant? When my husband became very despondent and tearful in the earlier stages of AD, his consultant prescribed a mild anti-depressant, and the effect was almost immediate and very positive, without making him lethargic. I am not usually in favour of drugs, but I must admit that they did not harm whatsoever, and the entire family benefitted from the improvement in my husband's mood.

Good luck and keep posting!

 

[maude]

thanks

Hi Nutty nan

Thanks for the advice. Been over to see mum today and given her a bit of a pamper and a nice foot and leg massage . then we had a chat and watched a bit of telly together and by the time i left i think she was a little brighter. Even said dad could get the xmas tree down!!!Not expecting miracles but little steps are fine. Dad is finding it hard to deal with and can be a bit off hand with mum and i think this is upsetting her too. It makes her feel a burden but I have told her not to think like that. It is hard for dad too I know.

Will keep you posted and thanks again. Hope things are ok with you too.

 

[Nell]

...... have you mentioned your Mum's low spirits to her GP or consultant? When my husband became very despondent and tearful in the earlier stages of AD, his consultant prescribed a mild anti-depressant,

As a person with a long term diagnosis of depression I can honestly say that the new generation of drugs only make you feel "normal" - they do not make you feel sluggish and like a "zombie".

As your Mum is coming to terms with her diagnosis (I presume from your post she does know she has AD. . .?) it seems very reasonable that she will be depressed - hopefully only in the short term. If she does not show definite signs of improvement VERY soon, I urge you to discuss with her doctor the state of her moods and her mind. There is no need today to live with depression.
(I acknowledge it can take time to find the right treatment - hopefully it will be instant for your Mum.)

One other consideration - could you ask her directly if it is the diagnosis that is making her so sad? Only you and your family can judge if this is appropriate - but it might let her talk frankly about her fears and concerns.

Wishing you well - Nell.