1. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    Hi everyone I'm hoping for some advice.

    My mum has always had a very healthy appetite, but in the last few months nearly every meal comes with the words, you give me too much, I'm not hungry, I've had enough. Mum will try to get away with just a cup of tea for breakfast and lunch and then a tiny evening meal. It's becoming a battle ground.

    Mum is diabetic, she needs to maintain her sugar levels, but of course there's no way to make her understand. As an aside to that she's chewing everything so much before swallowing that her meal is cold before she finishes it (another reason not to eat) and tonight she thought the rice on her plate was cabbage.

    I can't pretend to be Delia Smith, but my cooking isn't that bad. I know towards the end people no longer need nourishment, but mum is nowhere near that stage. Should I be worried? Am I over reacting and looking too closely, or should I be speaking to her GP?

    Thanks in advance

    Lavender x
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
  3. Bizzylizzy73

    Bizzylizzy73 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2015
    Southport, Merseyside
    I'm not sure from diabetic point of view, but with my mum I can usually get round her with something sweet. I offer "sweet or savoury" and have learnt not to sweat it if she won't eat what I class as a meal!
    Trifle or rice pudding are my go to!
    Try not to worry, perhaps some advice from the diabetic nurse may help? X
  4. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    eastern USA
    Eating has been a similar battle here. Does she have difficulty swallowing? My mother has dysphagia, and she really chokes on her food now if it is not minced or pureed. She is very far along on her journey, very near the end. I don't know where your mother is.

    What I have done in recent days is take her favorite foods and sort of mix them up. She has really enjoyed a minced ham, scrambled eggs, and macaroni and cheese mixup - eaten her whole serving. I mince up everything, then add ThickIt (liquid form) to it, microwave it to heat it thoroughly again, and off it does and down the hatch. She no longer swallows her pills well, so we are using her minced or pureed food as the vehicle for her pills. She doesn't want to wear her teeth (she has full dentures - has had for 50 years), so it's a challenge.

    I wonder if she has teeth issues? Or mouth sores?

    At any rate, perhaps take some of her favorite foods from former days and try it out. My mother is, by the way, lactose intolerant. If your mother has runny poop, maybe considering adding lactaid to her food whenever you are giving her something that has dairy solids in it.

    This is a hard road, wanting to do one's best and not knowing what will work . . . .
  5. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    I really agree with you there and I'm sorry you're having a tough time with food like me, though I have to say you sound like you're totally in top of it and are doing a brilliant job of it!

    Your mum sounds much more advanced down this sad road than my mum. I know there is no exact science to judging this disease if I read the 7 stages of Alzheimers mum hovers somewhere around the 5 mark. I watch her like a hawk and swallowing doesn't seem an issue and her few remaining own teeth have only just had a regular check up and her false ones seem fine, though it was a good thought. Mum just seems to have a complete lack of interest in food and no comprehension of the need to eat and maintain reasonable sugar levels.

    Thank you for Bizzylizzy73 for thinking of the diabetic nurse, I hadn't thought of the nurse, shows how fixated I can be on one thought, which was the GP.

    Thanks for the link Izzy. Your hubby's willingness to over eat must be a really hard thing to manage, it must be hard to refuse him things even she it is in his best interests.

    Thank you all, you've put my mind at rest a bit.

    Lavender x
  6. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    I quite often go and visit my wife at evening mealtime in the hospital so I get to watch 20 or so people with severe AZ have their tea (as we call it up north).
    They vary from those who'll have seconds of both the meal and the dessert (if it's going) right through to one patient who refuses to eat or (like today) throws her food down the toilet.
    The one thing I have noticed is that "soft" food gets more clean plates than "hard" food, mince and mashed potato always gets eaten where most of the pork chops end up in the bin, even the crust on pies never seems to get eaten so you could try things that need little or no chewing and maybe overcook the vegetables to make them softer.
    My (now late) mother went through the not wanting to eat phase so I started giving her things I knew she'd always liked, she never turned down a tinned salmon sandwich or a corned beef and piccalilli /Branston or potted beef one either, not health foods I know but it's better than nothing and at nearly 90 does it really matter that much?
    Last thing is "little and often" might work too, some nice, dainty sandwiches with the crust cut off who could resist?
    I hate it when; meal times, bath time or whatever event become the "battleground" you describe everyone's keyed up ready for a row before you start, it really can't be doing any of you any good.
    Sorry to go on:)
  7. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    My husband is just the same and he is 63. You might want to have a look at my recent thread 'Can't Cope'.


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