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POA... What would you do?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Linbrusco, Jul 12, 2015.

  1. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,585
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    If at any time you were out of pocket, due to caring for someone with dementia, would you feel justified then in reimbursing yourself? Within reason.
    What if it was lost wages.. As you have used up all your entitlements at work?

    The system is such in New Zealand that I am not entitled to any form of Carers payments as it is income based on mine and my husbands joint income.

    Hard to know what is the right thing to do :confused:
     
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,745
    Female
    London
    Gosh, that's a hard one. Have you got an authority in New Zealand that oversees POAs and who you could ask for guidance? I think here you can reimburse yourself for expenses within reason but whether lost pay would be one of them, I don't know, though I am a bit sceptical.
     
  3. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,475
    Radcliffe on Trent
    I would feel justified in principle but as Beate says there may be specific rules about this so I'd try and get some advice from whichever govt. dept. runs the process in NZ.

    I know you aren't allowed to benefit financially as POA holder but I did for example claim back the costs of petrol as I lived a long way from mum and did a lot of extra travelling to take her to appointments etc.
     
  4. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    I lost my career due to long-distance caring for my father. I was not able to claim a penny back in 'lost' earnings. We had to put our house on the market. Justifiable expenses - my air fares, food while in his country, phone calls etc - were allowed. I believe you should be very careful if there are other beneficiaries to the will, for example, and should seek legal advice in the country in which you live.
     
  5. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,953
    Female
    London
    #5 meme, Jul 13, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2015
    yes, I would and did...my mother happily covered all fares as I travelled from London to Guildford and back by train and tube several times a week to see her, and she lived up a long and winding country lane only accessed by car ..no bus route, so a taxi from and to the station her end was needed...expensive and I could not have visited so often paying myself..I would add I had a third party mandate not poa ...
     
  6. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    You can reimburse expenses including travel and parking, but not lost income.

    I lost £5000 of earnings in the first year I went part time - I'm not even going to try to calculate the amount lost over 5 years but as my hours got less I did more for my parents. I could not claim that back - it was my choice to do. Maybe if I had talked to the other potential will beneficiaries first we could have come to some arrangement where I wouldn't have lost so much and got an allowance of some kind.
     
  7. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,585
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    I have done this also in the past 2 years by reducing my days from 4 to 3 which was my choice too.
    I also have authority on my parents bank accounts and have done for over 20 yrs.
    As my sister is the other POA, and we are joint executors of Mum & Dads wills, I think before I ask her, it might pay for me to get some legal advice.
    I know there is a gifting allowance per year in leiu of care that our Welfare System allow, when looking at Residential Care applications.
    Its all a big minefield isn't it!
     
  8. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    Yes it's difficult, Linbrusco.

    Although I talk about financial loss I did gain far more - I was able to support my dad as he went through chemo and I got to know him far better than I would have. We became closer and all the money in the world doesn't match the time I spent with him (albeit in the worst circumstances). I was also able to reassure him I would make sure mum was looked after when he'd gone. I also appreciated not having to work full time and could do other things on my 'free' days.
     
  9. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Linbrusco, I am in Auckland too. I agree you cannot get Carer Support Subsidy for a spouse, but that is not your situation. Have you or either parent had a needs assessment? I found them very helpful and I did not have to "lay it on thick". i receive 28 days/year carer support subsidy, which I usually pay to my step-daughter when she comes and stays. (Not sure if she has to pay tax on it; she works full-time.) My OH also has 2 days/week daycare and I could have more.

    This could be helpful if you haven't read it already: http://www.health.govt.nz/your-heal...-assessment-and-service-coordination-services
     
  10. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,319
    Female
    Chester
    One of the issues that arose when we discovered when we realised we had missed mum's illness for years was her house was in a dire state. I took a week's unpaid leave to clear it initially and have subsequently travelled down on my day's off for which I had to pay childcare out. I have had both the income lost and the childcare costs from my mum, together with the travel. The lost income was with my mum's agreement (not sure she'd understand now) and also my brother's, as she did have capacity to understand.

    We have LPA and as my mum will if she needs care be self funding for over a decade so we don't have a deprivation of assets situation or CoP review. My brother and I are the only beneficiaries, there is no will that we know of so no one to query this. We are therefore trying to be sensible over costs to be fair to each other, as well as considering mum's position.
     
  11. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,585
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand

    Hi, Yes I have had an assesment and am down as Mums Carer. I have been approved 28 days a year Carer Support Subsidy. Mum refuses any permanent Day Care which I know I can use the money towards, and I could have used it to pay my sister when she took Mum to stay for 5 days, but we felt we should keep it towards respite or an external agency if needed. Its from my understanding it is taxable income.
    At this stage Mum attends 2 x Alzheimers activity groups which are free, and a senior citizens one a neighbour takes Mum to. Mum & Dad are also eligible for 1.5 hrs a week home help which they refuse.

    I was meaning more Carers Payments, like I know they do in the UK & Australia to pay you personally for caring for someone other than your spouse.
     
  12. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Right - what I was thinking partly was if your dad had Carer Support Subsidy, they could use it to pay you, the same as I do with step-daughter. I see from your post you don't want to do this, but there is also formal Respite Programme i.e. regular respite, which is fully funded.
     
  13. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,585
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Thanks. i think they put me down as Mums Carer, as Dad has cognitive impairment and I otherwise oversee all Mums care. Dad gets respite 4x a week for 2-4 hrs at a time.
    My sister won't consider actual respite care at this time, preferring to have Mum & Dad to stay at hers. Last time that proved to be a disaster as Mum gets too disorientated and fell getting into the bath.
    I feel as though I am in limbo.
     
  14. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    So, to get back to your original question. I would certainly reimburse myself for expenses directly related to mum and dad. Lost wages might be another matter, though I understand your situation. What does your sister think? I'm ssuming you have a good relationship with her.
    Just thinking about who you could ask - maybe the IRD or a lawyer at Citizens' Advice?
     

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