I'm currently on holiday but today my nan recieved the letter about POA. She has obviously signed it, but doesnt remember doing it and thinks that I am trying to take her home from her. Obviously that is not the case and I would never make her move into somewhere she didnt want to be, but now she thinks we are all going against her. She was going to cancel it but my sister has managed to convince her to wait until she sees her on Saturday to go through it all with her. If she wants to cancel it that is fine, but she obviously doesnt realise that later on if a solicitor or doctor believe that they know best, there is nothing me or my sister can do. I'm hoping that when we get home on sunday she has calmed down, but I guess I need to be ready for a fight. Not great as we are staying with her while my house purchase goes through
POA letter has arrived and its caused all sorts of issues
- Thread starter lensgirl
- Start date
Read about revocation of LPA
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/end .
Note the statement
'You must be able to make your own decisions when you end your LPA.'
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/end .
Note the statement
'You must be able to make your own decisions when you end your LPA.'
Hi @lensgirl, not an uncommon reaction I'm afraid, and I guess if you can't remember going through it an understandable one. We did ours through a solicitor that met with Mum - when it arrived she didn't recall the meeting and questioned it taking place but we happy for me to act for her. Hopefully Nan will settle down and once the document has been filed away will no longer worry about it. Try not to worry about it if you are on holiday as there is little you can do, you are trying to do you best for Nan and in reality that will always involve some bumps in the road. All the best.
Hi @lensgirl . Is there any chance that your sister could “cancel” your Nan’s POA for her but really put it in a safe place? I don’t think trying to explain the reality will be helpful as even if your nan forgets about the fight or the reason for it she’s likely to remember the anger and distrust towards you. Maybe your sister could photocopy the original so that your nan can see her rip the copy up...obviously don’t tell her it’s a copy
What is it that she will have recieved, is it a copy of the document? If so, she will see her signature on the forms so that might calm her down a bit. I tried the doctors and solicitors but noone wanted to be involved really in being the certificate provider. The receptionist did all she could to put me off and solicitors told me they only get involved when they create the documents (I guess after mental capacity is no more).
Is she likely to get another letter to say that it has been registered, or is this it?
Is she likely to get another letter to say that it has been registered, or is this it?
After my Mum's POA had been sent off she received a letter confirming that it had been registered and the first named attorney on the form (me) received the original POA form (certified). Without seeing the letter that your Nan received though it's difficult to know as it may be referring to an error in the form or something else. Suggest that your sister takes a look on Saturday and tries to diffuse the situation as best she can.
I too received the POA documents to my address but I can’t remember if I requested them to be sent to me as dad had a tendency to throw everything away or lose it.
I don't recall Mum being sent a letter to confirm receipt but without seeing the actual letter that your Nan has received it's all just guess work as to what her letter does or doesn't say.
When my mother-in-law received a letter saying the POA was now registered, she had a bit of a meltdown . She told me that she was going to find someone else to be her attorney. I said that was fine, just to let me know when she had sorted it out herself. I knew of course that wouldn't happen. 3 years later I was still waiting for her to arrange it.
Would it help if your sister pointed out that the PoA was simply to avoid the government taking over? I realize that is not the case but for an older generation, there is a fear of that.
Hi @lensgirl I feel your pain in that my mum had the exact same reaction a few weeks back, initially the opg write to say that the poa is in place but have to wait 4 weeks then another letter to confirm registration (And whomever was named as receiving the poa will receive in the post). Mum completed the form but the letter translated to her as me getting her sectioned/put into a home/taking her home off her and whilst I wasnt on holiday, boy did she unleash a torrent of abuse when I was with my small kids and family friends at a soft play centre! She seemed to calm down when I suggested it was something the dr had wanted in place but I have later discovered she had tried to get her neighbour to cancel it a few days later, mainly because she kept the letter by her phone so I think it kept triggering her. The neighbour told her that they had cancelled for her (She didnt she called me) and in any event the hold time for the opg is so long with so many options to choose that she wouldnt have been able to do it herself but I suppose my post is to sympathize and say that the white lie about cancelling worked as did the drs but if you can get the letter out of sight she will likely forget it and not worry, I know it's hard to be on the receiving end of the accusations but mum and your nan cant help it, they are trying to make sense of something that they genuinely cant remember and lash out at the ones closest to them.
