please help, i want my dad back...

[noodle31]

My dad is 68 yrs old.....he has had slight confusion and hallucinations for about 18 months-2 years now.
His gp has done nothing.
last tuesady (26th april?) there was a marked change in his condition when he failed to recognize my mum........

from being confused just at night to confused most of the day.

this escalated overnight when he became convinced that the military were coming for them and they had to pack because they were going to london (dad was in the RAF when younger)

mum rang my brother in a v distressed stated on weds morning.

he and myself after no joy from the gp took him to casualty.

a lovely nurse spoke with us all, explained to mum what could be happening and how things could progress......that mum needs some outside support, so she contacted social services and his gp....who has finally made a referral to the local hospital for an assessment. this should begin the week of 9th may...

my poor mum is at her wits end, she is emotionally and physically drained. we do what we can to help, i am over most days, but have 4 children one of which is just 6 weeks old, i dont drive either so it is very difficult .....

dad hallucinates throughout the night and day about the military and government conspirocies. he swings between knowing who mum is to not....

he focuses on things such as his false teeth not fitting, he believes the government replaced them overnight.


i dont understand how such a marked decline can happen litterally overnight.

i want to be a little girl once more and have my dad back - this person now is so v v different to the dad i know


please help

love Jane

 

[Sheila]

Dear Jane, although it may well be a decline due to the disease, I can't help wondering if he could possibly have a urine infection or be going down with a cold or something. Also, could he be constipated? I am probably just clutching at straws on your behalf, but these things can make a difference. Is it possible to check them out? Hope things settle soon, if it is a decline, then he may well be anxious for a while, you need to watch him and make sure he doesn't wander off, "on a mission" so to speak, my Mum was very good at that, I spent many an afternoon trailing up and down the road after her. Thinking of you, love She. XX

 

[noodle31]

hello

the hospital checked for urine infection etc

he does get constipated but funny enough he isnt at the moment.

awful thing is, i work in mental health and know what is to come to a certain degree...

i just dont know how to balance everyone at the min, or help my mum, i wish i could be there 24/7 but i cant....

i wish a simple thing like an infection was it

and how ironic is this? he usually suffers v bad angina but hasnt had an attack for a couple weeks now

thank you for your reply

love jane

 

[Sheila]

Hi Jane, sadly it does sound like a decline then doesn't it. With four children and one being so little, for your own sake, do pace yourself. You will be no help to your Mum if you collapse you know. I can understand how worried you must feel, especially as your Dad is quite young. This is a very hard time for you all, coming to terms and accepting that which you can't change is one of the worst bits I think. Once you do, you can make some plans for the future, although, just like a birth plan, be prepared for it to change if needed. You are doing your best for your parents, it's all any of us can do. Having worked in the area, I am sure you will have ensured that they are assessed regularly and get all the help they can to take the pressure off your Mum and you. In our Norm's now famous words, day by day my love, day by day. Thinking of you, love She. XX

 

[noodle31]

Thank you

yes now at last mum is asking for help....previously she has hung the phone up on me, or turned her back, literally when i have made suggestions....

so now she has finally asked for help within 24 hours i have got the assessment date sorted, and social services on stand by for respite.....altho they wont do anything without the formal diagnosis...

but i must think positively that mum has asked for help...which is the biggest breakthrough

thank you again for your replies

love Jane x

 

[Jude]

Dear Jane,

In some ways, the early days are the hardest because the road is quite unfamiliar to begin with.

Do try and see if you can get your mother a prescription for Aricept or Ebixa as early as possible as this will really help in the short term and give you a breathing space to make plans for the future.

Best wishes,

Jude