I am going to my parents tomorrow. I go up and stay overnight every Wednesday. My mum has usually not had a shower and in the same clothes. Her hair is done but its not clean. I worry that she is not showering enough. Last time I was up there I convinced her to get into the shower but she could not regulate the hot water. I told my dad which he was un aware of. Could be the reason she is not getting in there. He said she has baths and I thought maybe cause she can let the water cool off. I worry that my dad is living with a bit of denial. He told me that once a week showers is ok. Is it? She doesn't wear deodorant she never has but it's not nice taking her out for lunch a bit smelly with dirty hair and no bra and such? Am I being selfish? I am worries that dad it to consumed in living as normal as possible with mum that's he's missing the personal bits mum is starting to not be able to do. He lets her do everything for herself which is great but I think she needs more help. She still drives which scares me. I have told them both that she shouldn't they don't listen. He would like her to go on outings with a carer and group but does nothing about it. They have no one come in to help with cleaning which is available. I feel really awful when I go up there and the smell of the house is like old people house and I feel guilty that I can not clean the whole house for them. When I do clean room by room when I come back the next week it is back to the same. Mum has started putting things on the line and hosing them down instead of putting through the laundry. I am sure most things don't ever get washed. I could go on and on. What do I do? Please let me know what you have had to do or chosen to do? Should I start going up there twice a week?