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Please help - care home nightmare

Sueperzoom

Registered User
Aug 15, 2021
36
0
Dad was discharged from hospital to a care home yesterday. He is unable to walk after being in a hospital bed for 3 weeks. He is at risk of falling because he doesn't understand he can't walk. When I went to settle him yesterday one of the carers went to leave him unattended sitting in a chair telling me she would leave an alarm mat in front of him. I explained that he was at risk of falling and that couldn't happen. We then moved him into the lounge area and he was placed in a sitting chair. I was told in advance he would be sat on an alarm pad so if he tried to get up, the alarm would sound but they didn't use an alarm pad with him. I raised this with the manager saying I was very concerned about him falling and she reassured me that safety was their priority and we'd just had a bad start.

Twenty four hours later the care home have said he's fallen out of a chair. They said he's been trying to stand up all day but they can't provide one to one 24 hour care.

What are our options if we feel a care home can't meet his needs? The social worker has implied we can't have him home as he needs 24 hour care. Has anyone been in a similar position?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,875
0
South coast
Im so sorry you had such a bad start.

The trouble is that with something like this if you took him home the only way you could prevent falls is to sit next to him literally 24/7. If you went to the loo, made a cup of tea or (heaven forbid) tried to sleep then if he tried to walk he would fall.

It is impossible to entirely prevent falls, whatever you do, but in a care home he wont be left for long and someone can check him over to make sure he is OK.
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,746
0
My mother in law was in a care home and was considered a high falls risk. She had alarms, pressure mats and still managed to fall . It's almost impossible to stop ,particularly if the person with dementia thinks they can still walk. My mother in law was still better off in a care home rather than in her own home.
 

Sueperzoom

Registered User
Aug 15, 2021
36
0
Thank you both. I need to accept that will be a risk for him I think. You are right in that we can't possibly give him 24 hour care ourselves. 😔 poor dad. I'm scared he might never come home. We've been telling him he can come home once his legs are stronger again. Now I'm frightened that social services won't let him home even then.
 

Roman223

Registered User
Dec 29, 2020
266
0
Dad was discharged from hospital to a care home yesterday. He is unable to walk after being in a hospital bed for 3 weeks. He is at risk of falling because he doesn't understand he can't walk. When I went to settle him yesterday one of the carers went to leave him unattended sitting in a chair telling me she would leave an alarm mat in front of him. I explained that he was at risk of falling and that couldn't happen. We then moved him into the lounge area and he was placed in a sitting chair. I was told in advance he would be sat on an alarm pad so if he tried to get up, the alarm would sound but they didn't use an alarm pad with him. I raised this with the manager saying I was very concerned about him falling and she reassured me that safety was their priority and we'd just had a bad start.

Twenty four hours later the care home have said he's fallen out of a chair. They said he's been trying to stand up all day but they can't provide one to one 24 hour care.

What are our options if we feel a care home can't meet his needs? The social worker has implied we can't have him home as he needs 24 hour care. Has anyone been in a similar position?
 

Roman223

Registered User
Dec 29, 2020
266
0
Hello Sueperzoom, Your Post resonates with my situation! I am sorry to hear of your situation with your dad. My mum was in hospital prior to going into a care home as she had poor mobility and was at high risk of falls! It was only for 28 days assessment but 5 months on she is still there. The same as your dad the SW had stated that mum needed 24 hr care. I never expected she would never be coming out! I always thought she would get better and come back home. It's been very difficult to accept that mum has deteriorated with her dementia and she will in effect never get better. Sometimes we feel guilty that we could not care for our PWD at home. So I do understand your situation and 5 months on it is heartbreaking .......
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,733
0
Ireland
My husband was similar to your dad. He didn't understand that he could no longer stand by himself, much less walk. He had been used to walking around the nursing home for hours. Unfortunately, he had enough strength in his arms to push himself out of his chair, and would just repeatedly fall. The staff, knowing he loved to walk, would take him up between them every 2 hours or so, and "walk" him around for a while. Eventually, I asked them to strap him in his chair between walks. I didn't view it as "restraint ", but as a safety belt - like you strap children in a stroller for their own safety. And Eventually, they got him a massive reclining armchair on wheels, which he enjoyed, and couldn't get himself out of.
 

garfield3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2018
384
0
Mum was like that. She fell, broke her femur, in hospital then care home. Needed 24hr care, dad had looked after her for 8yrs it nearly broke him. She was in one of the big chairs with wheels and strapped in ,because of falling out. She was happy in it. One time I was moving it round to see her better, don’t know what I did but nearly tipped her out. 🤦‍♂️😲

Sending strength.

Now going through all this with dad now… hey ho.
 

sas10

New member
Jun 28, 2022
1
0
My mum is is a EMH care/nursing home with one to one nursing in place and she has had 2 falls in 24 hrs, no reasonable explanation from the manager as yet. My point is how can you assure that even with one to one care in place, it is being implemented
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
12,473
0
Yorkshire
Hello @sas10
A warm welcome to DTP

Sorry that your mum has had falls, which must be a worry

I hope you get to talk this over with the manager ... that's maybe the only way to settle your mind ... sadly, if someone's mobility is compromised but they still try to move for themselves, even with someone next to them, they might still fall as it can happen in a split second ... that said, the staff ought to have made a report of the situation and how it was dealt with especially of whether your mum was hurt and how she recovered
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,355
0
@Sueperzoom we had the same story with dad. Three weeks in a hospital bed and unable to stand unaided. He managed three falls in hospital but we did get him home eventually even though he could not walk unaided. It was hard, very hard in fact and it was a two man job just getting him to the bathroom but we did it somehow. It was just me and my husband and we struggled, it was unsafe to leave dad because he would try to get about like he always had but that was no longer possible.

Dad did get his mobility back and was able to get about quite safely eventually but that was due to a lot of hard work on our part, getting dad to stand and sit and then one step, then two steps until he was mobile. This all sounds very promising but I cannot stress how hard it actually was. We were afraid to leave the room in case he got up and fell, I was continually worried, frightened even that he would fall and hurt himself. I will say that dad did not fall while I was caring for him but that may have just been good luck because there were times that I was asleep, perhaps we were lucky. Dad was 89 and very frail but he was also very compliant and easy to deal with and once he was in bed, he stayed in bed. I then lived with dad 24/7 for another year until he died.

I do understand how you are feeling and that you might think that if you get your dad home things will improve and that might just be possible but it will be at a huge cost to whoever it is who ends up caring for him because it will be 24/7 and that is relentless. I realise now that my dad would have been just as happy in a care home and he probably would not have even noticed that he was not at home anymore.
 

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