Please help, advice needed

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by xena, Oct 8, 2006.

  1. xena

    xena Registered User

    Oct 8, 2006
    East Midlands
    Hi, I have decided to visit this forum as i am not sure or not if my grandma is suffering from some form of dementia.
    For a year or so she has suffered with some memory loss, calls people different family member names, gets peoples ages wrong like for instance saying someone is 102 when they are in ther 80's. Also for the past 6 months she has got really nasty verbally towards my grandad, they live on their own and he gets really upset. I know she wont go to the doctors if i mentioned about the aggression and i am really concerned as to what i can do. I have tried to explain a bit to my grandad and that he shouldn't take it too personal but he justs shrugs it off.
    Any advice appreciated:)
  2. diane l

    diane l Registered User

    Oct 5, 2006
    Hi Zena I am new to alzhiemers and I was also in your position so I went to see my mums doctor and he arranged some test which ened with her being diagnosed with early alzheimers - not something Iwanted to hear but at least we now know what we have to deal with. she has now started medication so hopefully that will help
  3. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    Hello Xena. Well done for finding your way here. your grandparents are lucky to have someone concerned enough to be doing this ....... though they might not appreciate it right now. You might try getting your grandma off to the GP for a general sort of MOT ....... there's plenty of pretexts for that ...... other illnesses, medication review, over 75 health check etc. Might even be that they can arrange district nurse to call. It might be worth giving her surgery a ring and explaining some of your concerns. In my experience, GPs and surgeries vary widely, from the extremely supportive and helpful to the pure bl***y obnoxious ....... but it's worth being hopeful at least initially and giving the the benefit of the doubt.

    best wishes

  4. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Xena

    I did exactly what Aine suggested. We couldn't get mum to see her GP. So I made an appointment and went to see the GP myself. I wrote out in preparation all the things mum was saying, examples of memory loss etc. so that I could give as full account as necessary, ending by saying I thought mum was 'at risk'. Difficult for a GP to ignore this one. Explained to the GP that I would not get mum to the surgery in a million years and arranged for a home visit. I simply told mum that the GP had a duty to call as she was over 80 and had to have a bit of an MOT. It worked fine. The GP came and in turn arranged for a Consultant Psychiatrist to call. Worth giving it a go.

    Good luck
  5. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    It does sound like dementia, I think you should let their doctor and local Social Services know. You can keep them informed, though they aren't supposed to tell you anything without the patient's consent.

    Are there any neighbours who know your grandparents who'd notice if anything went wrong?

    (I think my mother's next-door neighbour was probably the first person who knew she had dementia, though she didn't alert us then.)

  6. mytribe

    mytribe Registered User

    Oct 20, 2006
    lichfield staffordshire
    Hi I am having the same problem but my sister in law took mom for her tests and says that there is nothing wrong with her. when my husband took mom to the doctors the doctor would not do the tests until he mentioned that we would pay for any treatment. but when my sister in law went for the results she told the doctor that we were not prepared to pay. so we still do not know if the tests were conclusive or not. My sister in law insist nothing is wrong with her mom what can we do now.!!
  7. Nebiroth

    Nebiroth Registered User

    Aug 20, 2006
    That's what we did with dad. Mum saw the GP first, and then took dad for a "health checkup" which the doctor had "asked him to have"

    Most people, particularly older people, see the doctor as an authority figure and usually comply with any request they might make - even though they would refuse pointblank to make an appointment themselves.

    We should also remember that grandma's generation only went to the doctor as a last resort.

    There could be other possible causes for your grandma's symptoms, dementia is only one, and it really needs a professional diagnosis.
  8. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    I think the only thing you can do is alert the professionals whenever they do anything which endangers themselves or others.

    If it's only muddles about ages or saying things out of character doctors/social workers probably think that isn't enough.

    (When a man in a waiting-room asked how old my mother was she said twenty-two-and-a-half. And when my niece asked how old someone was, a man in his forties, she said he was two. Some of that was probably deliberate to get a laugh. That was still at the stage when the doctors were saying there was nothing wrong with her.)

  9. sammy

    sammy Registered User

    Oct 19, 2006
    i was in a very similar situation to this- I called my Grandad's doctor and filled them in over the telephone as to how he was acting. We took him there on a pretext (which he forgot anyway) and got him his diagnosis. I feel like a bit or a traitor, but my Nanna needs help too, before she too is driven batty by exhaustion, worry and constantly having to appease his temper. I have done the same thing several times since and it never lies well on my conscience, but I love them both. I just want to make something awful a little easier. If you can do that then you should too.

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