Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by kindred, Apr 17, 2018.

  1. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    Thank you all for your lovely messages, much appreciated. Sorry about silence, been a bit of a week. K had a seizure which affected him badly and I spent a lot of time with him. He seems to have bounced back well from it and today with him has been lovely. I got the news more or less as I arrived home from my return to work .. God, I had forgotten how much work wipes me out at the moment ..
    Anyway, I arrived today to a seminar on hot cross buns, how best to serve them.
    Followed by a seminar on chip pans and why cows should not travel on buses unaccompanied.
    Keith leant forward and whispered to me, I don't really understand quantum theory (his favourite reading was always New Scientist).
    I agreed it was a bit tricky. But he then did his Asian shopkeeper impression ...
    Fortunately this turned into a song and in an attempt to engage with it, I asked him if it was a song about a rabbit.
    Keith replied, I rather doubt it ...
    Hey ho guys, thank you all so very very much. Love and best, Kindred, Geraldinexxx
     
  2. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,231
    Happy Easter, enjoy the buns however they are served!
     
  3. charlie10

    charlie10 Registered User

    Dec 20, 2018
    287
    Oh Kindred....I love your conversations with your husband and the residents....you make them seem so normal :) makes me query the meaning of 'normality'! Please don't push yourself work wise.....that shocking tiredness lasts longer than you think after a THR....quite normal so don't beat yourself up....you need to go with it and let your body heal at its own pace. Take care x
     
  4. WifeyLT

    WifeyLT Registered User

    May 16, 2017
    16
    Thanks for your insight and honesty ... I'm currently on a train journey to join my family (hunny and kids) having had to travel home unplanned when my mum hit breaking point as carer to my Dad ... We found respite in a home we've used once before ... I know it's a lovely home but I'm so sad inside ... I want to be with him but also can't / won't for both my mum and my family's sake ... It's the having to choose that makes me feel so sad. I'm already just thinking about my first visit to him on Monday ... Mum won't visit just yet ... I hope I see some of my Dad as himself when I do ... I know from his first respite stay in Jan that he cancan c and settle ... Fingers crossed he does this time x
     
  5. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    454
    Hello @kindred - how are you and how is Keith?
    I haven't been around that much recently, but usually try to have a 5 minute flit round the board. I have missed your posts these last few days.
    I hope that hip isn't playing you up too much and you are both OK.

    Life has been busy here, you name it .... I won't bore you with all the sordid details of a house trashed by a non-paying tenant; having the decorators in our house in London and cleaning up the aftermath; and a jolly blue light ambulance trip to A and E for me! All sorted now, or in the process of being sorted.
    Easter was lost in dust sheets and cleaning, but I decorated Mum's zimmer with sparkly Easter egg decorations and little toy rabbits - and she spent most of the weekend covered in chocolate. Happy days!

    Take care and much love

    XX
     
  6. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    Thank you with all my heart for your messages of support and your stories. Means the world. I've been so tired, that's why have not posted. Work, even for two days a week, just wipes me out. All the computer stuff, my head won't hold the information.
    Anyway, when I arrived today, Keith was a bit subdued but after a cup of tea with sugar in it, started crooning, and I mean, really crooning a song from goodness knows where. It was a beautiful opera, a tribute to the cup of tea.
    I'm told that a resident wandered round all yesterday afternoon with a police helmet on !
    One of the Activity nurses did a brilliant sensory activity, showing so many beautiful things for the residents to hold and appreciate. We had a seminar on the importance of make up for us girls and whether or not to wear red lipstick. (Me, I won't get out of bed without it).
    I did a bit of singing and then suddenly a very old and not politically correct rhyme surfaced in my mind. Do any of you know it? Some of our residents did and even they say it's going way back, that one.
    My Mother said
    I never should
    play with the gypsies in the wood
    If I did
    She would say
    Naughty little girl to disobey

    Suddenly, Keith piped up:
    It's an uphill struggle, isn't it ...

    Sometimes, blue eyed one sometimes.
    all my love folk, all my love and thanks, Kindred aka Geraldinexxx
     
  7. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,231
    Xxx
     
  8. Goldie Girl

    Goldie Girl Registered User

    Oct 20, 2018
    39
    Female
    West Midlands
     
  9. Goldie Girl

    Goldie Girl Registered User

    Oct 20, 2018
    39
    Female
    West Midlands
    So sorry you are struggling post- op as a retired Nurse plus having many operations including on my Hip don't fight the tiredness it is your body helping its self to recover. You will soon be fighting fight and if not tell your GP you have had a big op for the sake of your Blue-eyed Boy look after yourself. You were very kind when I was struggling to keep Mum safe hopefully she is in the right place now. Be that kind to your self you are a very special person love Kerry xx
     
  10. Sad Staffs

    Sad Staffs Registered User

    Jun 26, 2018
    676
    Female
    Another wonderful post Geraldine xx thank you.
    My mother would quote the first four lines of the rhyme, but I think the ending was different!
    She also used to quote ‘Bertie Bloggs lost his togs on the beach one day....’ I can’t remember anymore of that one either!
    Oh, my wonderful mother.... such a beautiful person.

    It still seems early days for you post surgery. How many weeks now? We don’t bounce like we did when we were younger. Please take care of yourself. Try to rest. You are so precious to so many of us.
    With my love, B xx
     
  11. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    Oh thank you so much for your loving and encouraging words.I will try out the Bertie Bloggs one ...Thank you for what you said, thank y ou. with great love, Geraldinexxxxx
     
  12. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    Goldie girl, thank you so very much. Thank you for your loving words. It is so hard to accept that we need to rest, isn't it. AND there are FOUR hip operations at various stages down our little road and this is being turned into a competition by neighbours in their remarks ...I loved what you said and will take your advice, thank you with all heart. With best love, Geraldinexxx
     
  13. Goldie Girl

    Goldie Girl Registered User

    Oct 20, 2018
    39
    Female
    West Midlands
    I had to smile at the thought of the neighbours taking bets on who can walk the most distance between the four of you! haha. Try and ignore them and do your own thing. Keep sharing the songs I am being corrupted by you all I love it!! Love Kerry/Goldie girl xx
     
  14. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    454
    Hi @kindred - I guessed that you were tired out. Remember to only do what you have to do and take every opportunity you can to rest.
    When I first had the accident that *****'d my knee, my Nan told me to drink Mackeson Stout ( don't think they make it now) but when her Mum broke her leg back in the 40's/50's she was told to drink it to 'build up her bones'. Well I quite liked that idea, and preferring Guinness, a messed up leg was a good excuse for a cheeky half pint!

    Yes, I remember 'My Mother said ....' we used it as a skipping rhyme. Do school children still skip?
    However@Sad Staffs rhyme about 'Bertie Bloggs' is one I do not know, and I am keen to find out if and how he avoided exposure!

    Try not to overdo this weekend.

    XX
     
  15. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    Yes, it is all about who is on crutches, who is using sticks, who is down to ONE stick and who is walking on their own ... I have now been written off by consultant who said I have done fantastically well, I look good, the hip looks good and the pain I have is due to scar tissue and should go in a month, come back in a year ... I shall hold my head up high when I pass the neighbours and see the twitching of curtains. Thank you! love and best, Geraldinexxxx
     
  16. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    Thank you, and I tried out the Bertie Bloggs one this morning but no residents seemed to know it. Loved your story about the stout. I think children do still skip ... so remember that. We used to skip to the song about the bad bad ship went round the alley oop or something? Ring any bells with you?
    Love and best, Geraldinexxxx
     
  17. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,140
    Well today was a turnup. I arrive to a seminar about the London Underground, closely followed by a seminar about feet and the size of big toes. And then Keith was pushed in and he focused intently on me (something he rarely does now) and shouted I CAN SEE YOU!
    So we sang what a day for a daydream.
    He was chatting away and I'm trying to give him his tea and cream biscuits and so I said, look, what do you want, eat or talk? and he said, talk actually. Fair enough.
    Sang to the other residents when Keith went to sleep, Lovely morning, thanks guys.
    Thank you all for your loving and encouraging messages. We're getting there.
    Love and best, Geraldinexxxx
     
  18. Starbright

    Starbright Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    402
    Female
    Oh that’s sounds like a lovely morning visit for both of @kindred especially as your blue eyed boy was so happy to see you and very chatty. My oh wakes in the morning and cannot stop talking ,it does start off a bit gobbledygook but evens out a bit as he wakes more. It can be so funny sometimes, those are the moments to cherish :).
    So glad your now well on the mend but still do take care (( Hugs )) A x
     
  19. SandraKD

    SandraKD Registered User

    Nov 26, 2018
    36
    The Big Ship sailed round the alley alley oh
    The alley alley oh
    The alley alley oh
    The big ship sailed round the alley alley oh
    All on a Sunday morning
    Is that the one you were thinking of?
     
  20. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    454
    Hi again @kindred
    Yes I remember 'The Big Ship Sailed' although unlike @SandraKD 's version, we sang 'On the Last Day of September'.
    The next verse was: 'The Captain said: It will never never do'
    The last one was; 'The Big Ship sank to the Bottom of the Sea'
    We didn't skip to that one, we did a thing with a line of us who all paraded under an arch made by the first two in the line. Our playground games were so simple and unsophisticated ....
    With line skipping, do you remember:
    'I like coffee, I like tea, I like Geraldine in with me'? And did you do 'Double Dutch' skipping with 2 ropes or the other playground favourite 'French skipping' with a lump of elastic stretched around two peoples' feet?
    The weirdest playground game of mine dates from my first year at school in the early 60's. We had a tennis ball knotted into the foot of a stocking, and stood with our backs against a wall and did certain maneouvres with said ball, bashing it from side to side, through our legs etc against the wall, whilst saying:
    'Got a cigarette sir?
    No sir? Why sir?
    Cos I got a cold, sir
    Where d'you get the cold, sir?
    At the North Pole, Sir
    What you doing there, Sir?
    Catching Polar Bears, Sir
    How many did you catch, Sir?
    Then at that point you bashed the ball frantically from side to side while counting!?!

    Gosh that seems such a long while ago .............. but then it is!! Feel like a burst of 'Those were the days my friend'.

    Talking of times gone by, I have just been asked by my daughter to make her a peg bag of all things! I have managed over 40 years of marriage without one. Sorted out a good old vintage version and am about to oblige.

    Glad you had a good visit with Keith. Enjoy your day and take it easy XXX
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.