Oh my darling, how beautiful is that, how beautiful. Geraldine with love. Gxxx

 

OK guys, I know, I know and please don't tell me off. I don't normally go to see keith on sundays, I go to church. But today, largely inspired by your lovely responses to me post, and also tipped into it by the lovely weather, and a huge dose of needing to see my beautiful boy again, off I go.
And on the walk there, on the walk there, miraculously, for ten minutes I feel normal and human again. That is ten minutes in five long years. I hope the feeling comes back, usually I am keeping cheerful over a huge layer of grief, but you know about that all of you. I guess ten minutes can be built on.
Very nice atmosphere, Keith beautiful in his blue and white shirt and getting better at singing along to yellow submarine. Nurses and carers gave me such a welcome. I felt needed and useful.
Can't beat it.
with love to you all, and thank you so very much, Geraldinexxxx

 

I hope you have a good visit, Lilac, and so so lovely to hear from you. Thank you with all heart. And I so love your online name. Lilac is just so wonderful ... Geraldine with love and best ...xxx

 

OK, in I go and the first thing I see is AN INFLATABLE PINK PIG. Ah, it is the Chinese Year of the Pig and the two beautiful activity nurses are in Chinese costumes pinning red balloons and chinese lanterns all over the place.
I am year of the dog it seems and Keith is year of the rooster. Makes metaphorical sense.
Keith is down nice and early so we can do our hi ho opera and follow this with a resident seminar on the Mikado and three little girls from school are we ...
It seems the chef is trying to turn pork casserole into a chinese meal so this should be good ...
We have a seminar on red underwear which apparently is good luck in the Chinese New Year ...and then it all sort of kicks off.
First up is the flying yoghurt which a resident who is angry at just about anything tosses across the room. Then everyone seems to kick off and want something as the activity girls are trying to set things up ... the amount of energy in the place is just huge and two residents who normally sit quietly get up and walk around - to our delight!
I don't think Keith can do this any more, alas. But you never know. I had to come home for a meeting this afternoon so will miss some of the activities, but will hear about them. The chinese meal was great! As I left, Keith says to me:We're OK aren't we? And I tell him, blue eyed boy, oh yes forever and ever. Into the future, even past the year of the rabbit.
Thanks guys, thank you. with love, Geraldinexxx

 

I wish I knew about year of rabbit. Whenever it is, I wish I had been born in it!
Gxx

 

Oh I know, sweetheart, all sympathy. with love and thanks, Geraldinex

 

Visit started well! I made special effort to look pretty, nice yellow and orange scarf around my rabbit brooch and Keith who was down early (I think they get him down early as I tend to go in earlier these days) said to me with such a smile, such a smile, You are so luscious!
Made me feel very chuffed. On my way to Keith, I overheard a Bristol exchange between two workmen. One said eh up? and the other replied, as Bristolians do, ooo - ar.
So I initiated a residential seminar about this and lots of them recognised it. We practised lots. Asked the handyman for his opinion and he comes from Birmingham so he said they say something else, and as far as he is concerned, all us west country people are farmers or pirates. Great laughter!
I am wearing a bright yellow rucksack to practise for when I can't carry bags after my hip operation and we did a rousing chorus of I LOVE TO GO A WANDERING .... Haven't sung that for years.
This was followed by a lively seminar about football (We have two teams here).
Keith kept edging to the brink of his chair and I tried to get from him where he wanted to go. Eventually he agreed to the mountains of North Wales where we used to have our holidays and go climbing. So we agreed we would go after tea and biscuits. Oh, lovely, lovely blue eyed one, I wish, I so wish!
Thank you guys, thank you. Back tomorrow.
with love, Geraldinexxx

 

Oh thank you, thank you, that is so encouraging and lovely. Yes, visits can be so special, it just takes a half a minute of magic to transform it all. And when you think about it, that's about as much as most of us can ask for in our normal lives. It was so lovely to hear about your magic moment, thank you!! Geraldinexxwith love.

 

Oh my darling one, I know, I know. But love itself is often heartbreaking if you think about it. I am so so glad your husband said this. Obviously, I write what happens to me in this post, but it's an idea to write these good moments in a diary or something. I think so anyway. I am a writer by profession and last week thought I would throw away a few notebooks, I mean, why keep them. I flicked through a little Peter Rabbit notebook thinking that would be first in the bin and I realised it was a lilttle book I had written just before K was diagnosed. I can hardly believe the happiness radiated in that little book! Now I keep it on my desk and read a page or so a day and it reminds me how good life has been. Helps me, anyway! with love and thanks, thank you! Geraldinexxx

 

Now, I know that the world will belong to those who can accept change cheerfully and on the hoof,. So when confronted with the fact that the lift had broken down again, I managed to keep smiling. It was difficult because my hip and leg very bad this morning and Keith is on the third floor. So I had a cup of tea and the lovely activity nurse went up to check on Keith and brought me back a lovely report. she said he is sitting up, laughing, wearing blue.
Boosted by the said cup of tea and the activity nurse who came with me, I managed to climb the stairs to see Keith and we had a lovely, quiet, gentle time. Our one to one in the bedroom is always lovely, think Keith loves that. As I arrived, he said, my lovely, lovely girl. And we talked about this and that, and joked. And I looked out of his window at the overflowing guttering and the foxes in the gardens and at the magpie whose tail was being blown over his head.
Keith leans forward and whispers that they mated in Farnborough and it's all absolutely marvellous!
And as I leave him to go back down he calls after me, I am not suffering from loss of memory, it's behind the curtain ...
Back down we have a seminar on latin and it is amazing how many residents can do Amo, amas, amat .... We extended this to Shakespeare and quotes such as Friends, Romans, countrymen ...
Oh my dear friends, I do so hope the lift is mended tomorrow!!
with love to you all and thank you! Geraldinexxxx

 

Oh this is a wondrous post, and your mum being a vision in lavender even down to socks and shoes! How beautiful is this. An ashtray!!? Oh yes, I remember the press down variety. Goodness me. I know what you mean about squeezing every positive, it's what we do, isn't it. It takes it out of me, but I see one of my roles to keep showing delight in just about everything to help keep morale up, if know what mean. The nurses tell me it helps a lot with morale. I am sorry about the cat, ours has long run out of just about everything but is still dearly loved by the resident who claims it, as it were.
I'm told our lift is working, sweetheart, so you need have no worries about yours!
It is so good to hear from you and of course, of course I understand about it getting so much harder to keep positive ... I know, Toony, I know. With love and so many thanks, Geraldinexxxxx