Loo, this is such a beautiful beautiful post, thank you with all heart. That last line about feeling loved again and able to give love. This is something we miss in this situation so often, isn't it. I so love and appreciate your post, thank you. with love, GeraldinexxxcKindred I am catching up after a too long absence (hospital) I second so much already said by others. You most certainly have not failed your husband now he is in a care home it just becomes a different way of caring for him.
My husband went from hospital to care home, not allowed home and I dreaded it. He spent the last five years of his life there I wanted him home with me although I know we could not have gone on as the previous 10 years at home. He became very verbally aggressive total opposite of his true self. I can honestly say I do have some happy memories of those last years, our visits together he became his usual affectionate self and was very lovling. We both benefitted. There were good visits and not so good as there can be with dementia. The staff became like a family as we got to know each other and they got to know Henry and they genuinely cared about him,
Once he had settled - which did take some time - I think he did look upon the care home as his 'home' and felt safe and contented. Although he did have his 'moments' wiith mainly personal care he got on well with the staff and enjoyed their company. We were able to give each other what we had always shared - love. Our love did not die as a result of dementia as I had feared it had just become buried beneath the dementia debris. The not so good ones times made up for the times when it could be difficult.
I wish you many happy visits together. Those visits do make up a lot for those not quiet as we hoped or wished. I also felt a better person too. It was good to feel loved again and to give love.