1. Q&A: Looking after yourself as a carer - Friday 25 January, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of that person will often come before your own, and this can mean that you don't always look after yourself.

    However, it's important for both you and the person you care for. But how do you do that properly?

    Our next expert Q&A will be on looking after yourself as a carer. It will be hosted by Angelo from our Knowledge Services team, who focuses on wellbeing. He'll be answering your questions on Friday 25 January between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by kindred, Apr 17, 2018.

  1. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Loo, this is such a beautiful beautiful post, thank you with all heart. That last line about feeling loved again and able to give love. This is something we miss in this situation so often, isn't it. I so love and appreciate your post, thank you. with love, Geraldinexxxc
     
  2. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Just to say have to stay at work today so no visit, unfortunately. Longing to be there tomorrow! Thank you very much. with love and best, Geraldinexx
     
  3. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    OK then guys. It's Elvis Presley's birthday and the lift is broken. These two facts will dominate my visit. Up I go to spend the morning with Keith who cannot be brought down without a lift. Interestingly, Keith really thrives when I spend alone time with him, we chat away about goodness knows what, and laugh. He tells me a Gothic story complete with sound effects and then we sing the william Tell overture together. Lovely morning and THEN down I go to the residents' lounge where those who can be brought down are assembled for the ELVIS BIRTHDAY PARTY, complete with Diet Coke and peanut butter sandwiches with bananas ...Oh my goodness, this has to be one of the wildest activities yet. Believe me, Elvis is alive and well and living in Keith's nursing home. The activity nurses talked the residents through Elvis' life and facts about him, they had brought model cars like he drove and one of the nurses had a HUGE Elvis quip wig made out of black plastic bag. All the while to Elvis songs and discussions about them. Oh the level of engagement was phenomenal. Anyone coming in an hour before this would have just seen elderly people sitting round asleep - but coming in now would see a party in progress with everyone contributing songs and ideas. AND THEN one of the nurses who especially likes to dance came in and danced to one of the rock and roll numbers and the atmosphere just went electric, residents were dancing with their arms, clapping, nodding their heads ...
    Guys, I wish you had been there.
    I also wish the lift gets mended today!
    Back on Thursday, thank you for being with me. Love and best, Geraldinexxxx
     
  4. anxious annie

    anxious annie Registered User

    Jan 2, 2019
    19
    Sounds like a fabulous time for all. The activity nurses at Keiths home are certainly creative!
    Hope the lift gets sorted asap xx
     
  5. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    336
    Hi @kindred - in the inimitable words of Victor Meldrew .... 'I do not BELIEVE it!' I truly believe that there is a psychic connection between Keith's home's lift and Mum's.
    One of the lifts wasn't working at Mum's yesterday .... it was the one nearest to the entrance .... I was having one of my vague days, and realised I had been standing vacantly in front of the lift having pressed in the code and called the lift for some minutes. I then came to, and saw the ****** big, 'Out of Order - Do Not Use' sign. Duh .... I wonder about myself at times!

    I know you'll love this - daughter visited Mum as usual at the weekend. Mum says, 'Oooh I am so glad you are here'. 'Why's that Nan?' 'I've killed someone. I murdered him. I don't know what I should do, or what to do with the body' 'What about the police, Nan' 'Oh I hadn't thought of that'. Daughter reassured Mum that we were all OK and everything was fine. The 'murder' was soon forgotten and we are convinced she overheard the news about the knife killing on the Guildford to Waterloo train last week (daughter and I were on the same train the day before :eek:).

    As a final aside, yesterday (after embarrassing myself with the lift episode) I decided to look through a lovely animal picture book with Mum, as she adores animals. We came to a photo of two beautiful blue budgies. I asked her what she thought their names were. After a bit of deliberation she points to one and says 'Bluebell' - I tell her that is a very good name for a blue budgie, and ask for a name for his little blue friend - flushed with success Mum ponders and then triumphantly announces 'Equity'. I'd love to know what goes on inside her head!

    XX
     
  6. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Thank you darling, mercifully sorted now ....
    Gxx
     
  7. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Oh yes about the connection and the lifts!! And the murder story. God, the bizarre stuff we get involved in. But I adore the Bluebell and Equity story! Thank you with all heart. Love, Geraldinexxx
     
  8. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Well, I never thought I would get involved in a seminar about the ethics of international smuggling, in a nursing home. But there ...
    Keith down and lively. I told him I loved him and he said, well that's up to you, sunshine.
    So we sang the Superman theme together.
    This morning, the map game. Each of the residents in turn throws a beanbag onto a huge world map and we discuss what we know about the country it lands on! Really good, then an old fashioned singsong. I told Keith to go to sleep and I would watch over him and he told me that was very kind of me. So he did. And watching him, oh what a beautiful boy.
    How could I forget THE LIFT IS WORKING!
    Love and best, guys, love and best.
    Geraldine aka kindred.
     
  9. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    176
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    I love reading your posts Geraldine, it's fascinating to hear what goes on in Keith's care home.
     
  10. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Thank you so much! It is an astonishing place, everyone just mucks in and gets involved. The best times are when someone starts a song and everyone, nurses, cleaners, assistants, residents, families all join in and sing! Lovely to hear from you, thank you! Geraldine.xx
     
  11. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Oh what a wonderful cup of tea as a welcome, and Keith is down and looking lovely in mint green and blue. We sing the monty python tune before anything else and today is a day of seminars between the residents.
    Today we have a seminar on the Titanic, a discussion of how much space is needed to swing a cat and is this something we should be doing anyway? How long does it take a loaf of bread to defrost, and finally on whether things are harder today then they were yesterday. Fair enough. There was a visit from a lovely girl who sings yesterday and the music is very loud and I think as usual, Saturday is tiredness day. I tell Keith I will sing him a lullaby and he can go to sleep. Then I am stumped because I cannot think of one ... so I sing a hymn instead but he's already fallen asleep ...Brilliant sponge and custard and I was obliged to have a portion ...The pied wagtails came to see us again, too.
    Nice visit, thanks guys. Back again on Tuesday, church tomorrow and I have to work long day on Monday. Thank you all so much. Love and best, Geraldine aka kindred.xxxxx
     
  12. Starbright

    Starbright Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    324
    Female
    Sponge and custard nom nom :):) A x
     
  13. Sad Staffs

    Sad Staffs Registered User

    Jun 26, 2018
    588
    Female
    Hi Geraldine,
    I just wanted to say hello, I hope you are ok, and your gorgeous blue eyed boy?
    I haven’t been on TP much. I feel a bit sorry for myself, so I bury my head in the sand and hope things will get better. They rarely do, but a leopard never changes its spots!
    I think I have to feel really good or really bad to write on here. But I love your posts, so I think about you often. Sometimes you make my heart sing with your wonderful posts. I wish I could be more like you.
    I’m not sure whether my husband has an infection or whether his condition has dropped. Whatever, I’m finding him hard to cope with at the moment. Perhaps it’s just me and the weather?
    But I’m sending much love to you...
    please take care of yourself, Barbara xx
     
  14. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Oh sweetheart, beyond wonderful to hear from you. I guessed what was happening with you. I understand about feeling really bad or really good. Completely. This weather does not help, makes a lot of us feel down I think. Chugging along here, this is a difficult time of year for so many people.
    I have operation coming up and my big triumph of the day is trying out the no water towel off shampoo I can use and finding it is amazing and people telling me how nice my hair looks! Apparently it is much used at Glastonbury festival and the like. On such small triumphs my darling ...
    So so good to hear from you. Will write my usual post in a minute.
    with love and best and thank you with all heart, Geraldinexxx
     
  15. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,866
    Here I am again folks, thank you for reading.
    Very quiet when I arrived, everyone enjoying cup of tea. I have to say I am always happiest when the tea trolley is in view and my heart sinks when it goes away ...
    Keith making jokes to anyone who passed him by ... so we had lots of giggles and then sang the hey ho opera together. Then one of the activity nurses set down a huge map of the world and set about eliciting how we would get to Australia. Somehow this transmuted into America and was followed by an investigation of where Alabama is, and why Rawhide is called Rawhide.
    After this there was a seminar about the great barrier reef, do bees have knees ... and a how low can you sing competition.
    I still cannot find Alabama ...
    More time talking with Keith who looks so beautiful today. As I left, he calls out, If you have any problems, bring them to me. And I want to turn round, go back and stay there with him forever.
    Thanks guys, back on Thursday. Working longer days on Monday and Wednesday at the moment. Love to all, and thank you so very much. Writing this is one of high spots of my day. Geraldinexxxx
     

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