Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by kindred, Apr 17, 2018.

  1. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    so sorry about tv sweetheart. I do agree, home is best these days. Dear oh dear. I wish I were the animal that could curlup in corner. so good to hear from you, thank you! with love, Geraldinexxxx
     
  2. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    977
    TV sound back, torch found by me, everything is quiet, talking to you, All is Well and all will be well.
    With love, enjoy church if you go, love Alice
     
  3. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    Well, everyone fast asleep as usual when I go in after lunch! There was a western on the telly and one resident was watching with half an eye and muttering behind you every time an apache appeared!
    So no one wanted my songs, and I have got a load more. Blue eyed boy looked so lovely asleep, I stroked his arms and told him how much I loved him and he woke up and told me that there would be another delivery tomorrow ...
    Then he went back to sleep again.
    The Christmas trees are up and sparkling, ever so pretty. Count down to Christmas now guys. More soon. Thank you, love and best Geraldinexxx sorry if sound bit knackered, came home to situation with neighbour who was delivered back by hospital and simply cannot cope (dementia etc), I contacted social services who were helpful and concerned. I was dreading them asking me to take over the situation but they didn't ... Geraldine loads of love xxxx
     
  4. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    977
    Well done you. Xxx
     
  5. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    Thank you so much.

    Got there today in middle of a seminar about the names of the seven dwarfs. I can never get them all either, any more than the seven wonders of the world.
    Blue eyed boy looked beautiful in checked shirt. I announced it's ME and he said, I expect so ...
    His eyes were creased up in laughter. So love that.
    Have to say that the christmas trees are superb for atmosphere. some of the residents just focus on them like people used to look into fires.
    I played fluffy pusscats - (three fluffy pusscats sitting on a wall, oh you know, one falls off and how many left ... used fluffy toys from around the place.
    Yoga this afternoon! Keith hates yoga for some reason. It was during a yoga session that he made his break for freedom if you remember that dramatic episode!
    Great, low-key visit, very happy. Thanks guys. More on Thursday, have long day at work tomorrow. Love and best, Geraldinexxx
     
  6. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    977
    Low key and happy, sounds perfect. Well for the new norm that is. We are where we are. Xxx
     
  7. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    OK, so this morning one of those nice but nothing will happen days ... and we all know what that will turn into. Do not scroll down, let it develop organically as it were.
    We're singing Rawhide while we put up sparkly lianas and Keith is doing his Sean Connery impression. I ask him if he is OK and he says I think so, I'll be bloody annoyed if not.
    Nice, sparkly, gentle atmosphere. Then talk centres around one of the residents who used to be a champion ballroom dancer and we see how many dances we can all list between us and who has done them.
    Keith then leaning close and telling me that all will be well if I can fix a systems failure in Russia and I agree to do this after tea and cake.
    Plan a holiday in New Zealand with another resident and we will be staying in a motor home.
    Nice lunch and then as we are clearing up, someone mentions the tango and asks what the music to that is.
    We all muck in with tango tunes and then me and an activity nurse try to dance the tango to general applause and giggles. Fair enough, that was mad enough, but then I ask one of the nurses if he can dance and he says yes he can, so I say can he tango and up he gets from the table and dances an amazing tango with the activity nurse. It was astonishing! He tells me one of the kitchen staff teaches dancing ...Residents who were awake loved it! Energy levels soar!
    As I leave, Keith calls out, I know what the game is ...
    I'm thinking, sweetheart, blue eyed boy, I wish I did!
    Thanks guys, thanks a lot. love and best, Geraldinexxx
     
  8. Sad Staffs

    Sad Staffs Registered User

    Jun 26, 2018
    513
    Female
    Hi Geraldine, it’s lovely to read through the last almost 2 weeks of your posts, and to catch up with you and your handsome blue eyed boy.
    It’s good to know that you are well, and keeping up the high standard of entertainment for residents, visitors and staff. Dancing the tango. Wow.... would have loved to see that.
    My husband just phoned to tell me that the sweet little old lady, his words, that he sits opposite at meal times, has had a nasty fall. An ambulance was called. It seems she is fine, and she now has a bandaged head treated by the paramedics. My husband was so concerned that he left his room to find out how she was.
    It’s his protective, old fashioned gentlemanly manner coming out.
    When my husband likes you he is kind, gentle, protective. When he doesn’t like someone, then he can be embarrassing. He’s been the same ever since I have known him.
    Thinking of you Geraldine, with love, B xx
     
  9. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    Darling girl so good to hear from you. And your husband is taking part in the life of the home, that is so very lovely. Gentle, kind, protective, so lovely. And she is now the sweet little old lady! Love it. The best of homes create this kind of family atmosphere where people look out for each other. He is in a good place.
    Thinking of you too sweetheart, and so good to hear.
    with love and best, Geraldinexx
     
  10. DeMartin

    DeMartin Registered User

    Jul 4, 2017
    696
    Kent
    @kindred I love reading your posts, your beloved is in one “wild” care home.
     
  11. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    Oh thank you, it isd a bit!
     
  12. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    So today as I go in, Keith is doing his train conductor impression with a particularly funny pronunciation of Meopham (in Kent, where I used to live).
    I had gone in with the intention of teaching everyone the cowboy carol, but no takers and anyway one of the daughters of the residents came in to give us a marvellous STORY TELLING SESSION about favourite things. I discover from this that there is a rude alternative version to the Julie Andrews song Favourite things!!
    Christmas trees and sparkle stuff everywhere. oooo lovely!
    Keith is telling me he had a valentine card today but does not know who sent it.
    I notice how tired the residents were after the story telling session, these things take up so much of their energy, like they go into host mode and then they are tired and often a bit grumpy afterwards. I think it was worth it, though, they were so engaged, and Keith kept shouting encouragement from the sidelines!!
    i MEAN, like, do you guys know the cowboy carol??
    love and best, thank you all. Geraldinexxxx
     
  13. katydid

    katydid Registered User

    Oct 23, 2018
    17
    I still have my beautiful bot also. The man who has helped me through so much, a university degree in my. 30,s a nursing degree after that, helping with housework putting our boys to bed, Encouraging and praising me all through our life together,
    Now approaching our Golden Wedding, Dementia has taken him. Tonight he told me to go away that he would never trust me again, foul language F off. P off, this from a man wh
     
  14. katydid

    katydid Registered User

    Oct 23, 2018
    17
     
  15. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    977
    I am so sorry, it must be so upsetting. It is really hard to tell ourselves it is the disease and not the real person talking. Hold on to your love, your memories. Doing for two. My own situation is teaching me how weak I am but how strong too. Be gentle with yourself. X
     
  16. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    Oh my darling one, I know. I know. So many of us here know. I am so sorry. I get through by telling myself grief is normal, grief is normal, otherwise I don't know what I'd do either. We are, as Alice says, living for two. Please keep talking to us. We understand, you know we do. with love and tears too, from Geraldine aka kindred. xcxcx
     
  17. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    321
    My goodness, I am in awe of all that are caring for spouses with this (every expletive imaginable) disease and my heart goes out to you all.

    @kindred - Yes! I know the Cowboy Carol. I learned it at school some 50 years ago and thought it was wonderful then. However it was much better singing it with a big London choir as the men really let rip with the 'Yoi Yippee's'. I found it quite amusing that these seemingly very staid gentlemen in their DJ's really channeled their 'inner cowboy'!

    A rude version of 'My Favourite Things' ?? That sounds just up my street. Do tell more ...

    We sang 'Winter Wonderland' at Mum's CH the other day. I had to stop myself lapsing into the 'Chris Tarrant Breakfast Show version, which finishes with ' .... walking round in women's underwear!'

    Now, having totally lowered the tone on this thread - I am off to do Saturday-shaped stuff.

    Love to all X
     
  18. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    Oh so good to hear from you and that you know cowboy carol!! that was great. I love it that you have lowered the tone. I gather the rude version is on the internet, if not, get back to me.
    Love and best and thanks! Geraldinexxxx
     
  19. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    1,743
    Maria Callas brought me to God ...
    No, guys, this did not come from Keith's home but from a bus that I caught this morning. Two big fellas drunk and debating theology ...
    When I arrived at Keith's, he whispered oh thank Christ (to continue the religious theme) and told me some strange bloke had been nosing around. I think he meant the chef. So we sat together and he talked happy nonesense and I pretended we were students together in the caff. I think we should start another thread on here, all our beautiful boys ...
    Then he starts counting one to ten and stops at ten, so having been a teacher at some point, I prompt with eleven and he tells me yes, you can always rely on eleven.

    Sang Cowboy carol to Keith and other residents. It's a hard one to get the right pitch, really should be sung by men I think, anyway onwards. Then went to sit with other residents who suddenly become radiant with the happiness of not being alone. As do I.

    all my love, guys and back on Monday. Thank you with all heart. Geraldinexxx
     
  20. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    977
    After the book a CD??? Xxx
     

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