Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

[kindred]

OOo today had that interesting subdued feeling when I arrived, and that's when I know something astonishing will happen, but maybe not at once.
Keith came down late, pushed in chair and shouted THANK GOD FOR YOU when he saw me. I thought this was on account of my charms but it turned out he had a worry he wanted to discuss.
I can never remember how it works, he said.
Put one over the other and wind it up, I replied.
That's simple enough! he exclaimed, and I won't need to expend time on it.

That satisfied, a workman arrived and made TOOL NOISES which always energises Keith in a kind of empathetic bloke thing.
We talked about donkey rides with the residents who weren't asleep. Keith and I went to Scarborough when we were students and went on the donkeys. It was wonderful.
Keith is repeating words musically such as It'll never, never, never etc a bit like a rap. Several years ago, he actually went on rap classes (don't ask) so perhaps this is a throwback to that.
The chef came out of the kitchen and talked to us in his wonderful Glasgow accent as we were doing a focus on accents.
AND THEN one of the activity nurses asked me what were the first tunes, rhymes little children learn, so I offered Baa baa black sheep and Twinkle twinkle and we all sung them. And then the activity nurse who is Polish sung a little Polish song for children and then it all kicked off. The other staff came in and sung their first nursery rhymes in their own language, some of them doubling up.
It was truly wonderful, an astonishing time.
As I left, Keith was saying, But what is the motive ...
Not sure, guys, will think about that one. Many thanks for being with me again! love and best, Kindred. xxxxx

 

[kindred]

Bit of a shouting match going on between a couple of residents when I went in, but this was soon over and does indicate energy if nothing else!!
Meanwhile, Keith asleep as is usual in afternoon. I'll see if I can wake him at tea and cake time. A romance is starting between two residents (not the shouting pair) and love notes are going back and forth in napkins. I try a bit of singing and that goes down well. Then Keith wakes up and I go and sit with him and he's telling me it all happened a long time ago, and he can't remember what it was. And asking me if it matters now? I'm thinking this is a rather existential question for a Wednesday and someone (me) who has had a hard day working with the young. So I say, well, some things matter. We did a lot of amazing things that mattered, and then a lot of things don't matter.
He's back to sleep again. But the question remains with me. It's an interesting one. What matters now?
Your eyes, blue eyed boy
They matter
Your voice, blue eyed boy
That matters
You, blue eyed boy
You matter
Oh you matter.

 

[kindred]

Many of you may be wondering how I remember the details of what happens, bearing in mind the general tooing and froing of a nursing home. Truth to tell, I jot them down on a napkin and then have to guard it jealously all day from being swept up and put in the bin or used to wipe a chin or two. A suspiciously large amount of Halloween stuff is finding its way onto the activity nurses' table so I suspect a thing will be made out of this. I'm not keen, but will not let anyone know, I think it's an ugly festival. I am showing my age I expect.
Anyway, this morning Keith was up and ready and dressed so beautifully in blue, royal blue t shirt, blue and white shirt and blue long-sleeved t shirt.
As I arrived, arms open, there was, and I swear there was, there really was, please believe me, a flicker of normal recognition in his eyes, just for a couple of seconds, and then he said
Are you real?
So I hugged him and he whispered, thank you, thank you, all my faith ...
I said forever, blue eyed boy, I live for you.
Lunch time discussion, residents and staff feeding them, was on bigamy, do not ask how we got there ...
Then it reverted to whisky, always a popular topic.
Have discovered one of the ladies loved Rawhide and will sing it with me so will get the full words and write them down ready.
Come to that, how did we get to bigamy???
Love and best, thank you for reading this, keeps me going, really does.

 

[AliceA]

Many of you may be wondering how I remember the details of what happens, bearing in mind the general tooing and froing of a nursing home. Truth to tell, I jot them down on a napkin and then have to guard it jealously all day from being swept up and put in the bin or used to wipe a chin or two. A suspiciously large amount of Halloween stuff is finding its way onto the activity nurses' table so I suspect a thing will be made out of this. I'm not keen, but will not let anyone know, I think it's an ugly festival. I am showing my age I expect.
Anyway, this morning Keith was up and ready and dressed so beautifully in blue, royal blue t shirt, blue and white shirt and blue long-sleeved t shirt.
As I arrived, arms open, there was, and I swear there was, there really was, please believe me, a flicker of normal recognition in his eyes, just for a couple of seconds, and then he said
Are you real?
So I hugged him and he whispered, thank you, thank you, all my faith ...
I said forever, blue eyed boy, I live for you.
Lunch time discussion, residents and staff feeding them, was on bigamy, do not ask how we got there ...
Then it reverted to whisky, always a popular topic.
Have discovered one of the ladies loved Rawhide and will sing it with me so will get the full words and write them down ready.
Come to that, how did we get to bigamy???
Love and best, thank you for reading this, keeps me going, really does.

It is lovely to hear how love can triumph, take care, do not burn out xxx

 

[Lindy50]

Lovely posts as ever @kindred

I especially love your ‘what matters’ poem so true x

Love
Lindy xx

 

[kindred]

It is lovely to hear how love can triumph, take care, do not burn out xxx

Thank you so much, Alice. Yes, you are right, I do feel a bit bushed at the moment, combination of stuff. But I do love to be with K. Thank you so much. love, Gxxx

 

[kindred]

Lovely posts as ever @kindred

I especially love your ‘what matters’ poem so true x

Love
Lindy xx

Lindy, thank you. I think we are in a society now where what matters is sort of challenged, it is good to be able to sit and think about the fundamentals, thank you with all heart. with love, Kindred aka Geraldine aka me. xxx

 

[kindred]

So today I am met with a mad digital chicken which one of the activity nurses has switched on and brought to cluck at me. Rather sweet actually, could make friends with it.
Before go to Keith, am obliged to chase after one of the lightfingered residents who is resolutely marching about holding a half full canister of milk with no top on ...
Keith happy and talkative and telling me that whatever I do I have to wait for high tide.
Fair enough, I can do that, I tell him.
I talked about residents having roles a few posts back, I think, and how important this is for them. The nurses tell me that Keith is always so positive and cheerful and even tells them they are doing a good job! And I think this is his role, to be a positive, gentle presence. Once, in a past recession, I couldn't find a job and worried about not contributing to our finances and said to Keith, well if I can't contribute, what am I for? And Keith said that I was the warm, loving presence in his life and no one could ever ask for more ...
I did my first complete singthrough of Rawhide and this was great. Have you guys seen the Blues Brothers rendition of it, complete with whip?
On the serious side, one of the beloved residents died this week, and another is very low and being intensively cared for. So many emotions here, so many emotions. I thought when I had past 60 I would be done with emotions. I am so sad for the families.
Thank you guys, thank you. with love and best Kindred aka Geraldine xxxx

 

[Lilac Blossom]

As I arrived, arms open, there was, and I swear there was, there really was, please believe me, a flicker of normal recognition in his eyes, just for a couple of seconds, and then he said
Are you real?
So I hugged him and he whispered, thank you, thank you, all my faith ...
I said forever, blue eyed boy, I live for you.

Pure gold Geraldine - the memory of this most wonderful moment will bless and comfort you. When such rare moments occur, don't you just treasure and hold on to them.

Lilac x

 

[AliceA]

So today I am met with a mad digital chicken which one of the activity nurses has switched on and brought to cluck at me. Rather sweet actually, could make friends with it.
Before go to Keith, am obliged to chase after one of the lightfingered residents who is resolutely marching about holding a half full canister of milk with no top on ...
Keith happy and talkative and telling me that whatever I do I have to wait for high tide.
Fair enough, I can do that, I tell him.
I talked about residents having roles a few posts back, I think, and how important this is for them. The nurses tell me that Keith is always so positive and cheerful and even tells them they are doing a good job! And I think this is his role, to be a positive, gentle presence. Once, in a past recession, I couldn't find a job and worried about not contributing to our finances and said to Keith, well if I can't contribute, what am I for? And Keith said that I was the warm, loving presence in his life and no one could ever ask for more ...
I did my first complete singthrough of Rawhide and this was great. Have you guys seen the Blues Brothers rendition of it, complete with whip?
On the serious side, one of the beloved residents died this week, and another is very low and being intensively cared for. So many emotions here, so many emotions. I thought when I had past 60 I would be done with emotions. I am so sad for the families.
Thank you guys, thank you. with love and best Kindred aka Geraldine xxxx

Love to you too, Life is never done with us is it? These years of caring, hone skills we never thought we had. Emotions well up and show how vulnerable we are as well as how strong. Rather like getting throw in a washing machine and ending completely wrung out!
I have just watched another Teepa Snow video, it came in an email. Xxx

 

[kindred]

Pure gold Geraldine - the memory of this most wonderful moment will bless and comfort you. When such rare moments occur, don't you just treasure and hold on to them.

Lilac x

oh thank YOU lilac one. Oh yes, we live for this, don't we, don't we. with love and thank you, Geraldinexxx

 

[kindred]

Love to you too, Life is never done with us is it? These years of caring, hone skills we never thought we had. Emotions well up and show how vulnerable we are as well as how strong. Rather like getting throw in a washing machine and ending completely wrung out!
I have just watched another Teepa Snow video, it came in an email. Xxx

Oh Alice, no, it takes a lot for life to be done with us, I think. Thank you so very much. with love, Geraldinexxx

 

[kindred]

Well today for about ten minutes Keith was the centre of attention as the debate raged, Does Keith flirt?
Of course he does, and there is one of the activity nurses, blonde, gorgeous, personable who pretends to flirt with him and he widens and rolls his eyes and flirts back. Various other nurses tried to flirt with him with great success and one exclaimed GERALDINE IS JEALOUS.
So I went through the motions of being cross etc etc while Keith had big grin, loving every minute of it. He did look so young and lovely this morning. Fed, rested, no longer anxious about the state of the world, his job, paying the mortgage all that stuff stuff stuff.
Looking for the elusive black pusscat I am guardian to, I was obliged to fish a fetid banana out of one of the residents bags ... Pretty evil and squashed and of course, at first I was obliged to make sure it was a banana but no worries folks, it was.
Suddenly Keith said to me, I've got a surprise for you!
So naturally I asked, and he said, you've got a cudge.
Suggestions on a postcard. He then went on to tell me I had to catch it before it ferments ...
Love and best folks, signing off until Monday, please come back then. Geraldine with love xxxx

 

[2jays]

Cudge.... ferments.... cudge = sludge...

Banana wine D:

 

[AliceA]

Well today for about ten minutes Keith was the centre of attention as the debate raged, Does Keith flirt?
Of course he does, and there is one of the activity nurses, blonde, gorgeous, personable who pretends to flirt with him and he widens and rolls his eyes and flirts back. Various other nurses tried to flirt with him with great success and one exclaimed GERALDINE IS JEALOUS.
So I went through the motions of being cross etc etc while Keith had big grin, loving every minute of it. He did look so young and lovely this morning. Fed, rested, no longer anxious about the state of the world, his job, paying the mortgage all that stuff stuff stuff.
Looking for the elusive black pusscat I am guardian to, I was obliged to fish a fetid banana out of one of the residents bags ... Pretty evil and squashed and of course, at first I was obliged to make sure it was a banana but no worries folks, it was.
Suddenly Keith said to me, I've got a surprise for you!
So naturally I asked, and he said, you've got a cudge.
Suggestions on a postcard. He then went on to tell me I had to catch it before it ferments ...
Love and best folks, signing off until Monday, please come back then. Geraldine with love xxxx

Enjoy Sunday, don't take to much cudge, if it ferments you might get drunk!
If it is good you could go into business! x

 

[kindred]

thanks guys for your replies about the banana lark etc!
Well, today, Keith was asleep the whole time which is what usually happens in the afternoon. He did not even stir for tea and cake so I know the sleep was serious!!
So I threw myself into the quiz which was being organised by the activity nurse today. Good stuff, passing round pictures of the likes of Hitler, Hattie Jacques and Neil Kinnock and the residents were brilliant and got them all! Visual quizzes are very good.
One of the residents who has taken a shine to me (female) grabbed me and said, I will create a diversion and then we will get out of here ...
I asked her why?
and she said so we could go to Cardiff.
Fair enough. I wonder what the diversion would have been!!
Put on extra lipstick and gave Keith a big red kiss on his head as usual ... still did not wake up.
Oh what a beautiful day it has been, autumn at its best.
Thank you guys, thank you.
with love, Kindred aka Geraldinexxxxx

 

[Toony Oony]

Hi @kindred - may I ask if you have been anywhere near SW London?

The service lift at Mum's CH has been out of commission for days, and not only is it the one that they transport the big heated meal trolleys and equipment, but more importantly the one that they can pack lots of residents in to get them to the 2 upper floors. I thought of you instantly I realised it was out of action, and wondered if somehow the 'God of Lift Problems' had moved up the M4 to attack Mum's place ?
Only joking ...

I was chatting to Mum this afternoon and told her I had bought a new top that was devore. I told her this was a pretty material that had patches of velvet. 'Yes, I know just what you mean' said Mum. I was pleased she had remembered, until she said 'it's toothpaste and mayonnaise, isn't it?' I agreed that of course it was. I will be unable to think of my lovely new top in the same way again.

Hope you're OK and that hip isn't giving you too much trouble.

XX

 

[kindred]

Hi @kindred - may I ask if you have been anywhere near SW London?

The service lift at Mum's CH has been out of commission for days, and not only is it the one that they transport the big heated meal trolleys and equipment, but more importantly the one that they can pack lots of residents in to get them to the 2 upper floors. I thought of you instantly I realised it was out of action, and wondered if somehow the 'God of Lift Problems' had moved up the M4 to attack Mum's place ?
Only joking ...

I was chatting to Mum this afternoon and told her I had bought a new top that was devore. I told her this was a pretty material that had patches of velvet. 'Yes, I know just what you mean' said Mum. I was pleased she had remembered, until she said 'it's toothpaste and mayonnaise, isn't it?' I agreed that of course it was. I will be unable to think of my lovely new top in the same way again.

Hope you're OK and that hip isn't giving you too much trouble.

XX

Lovely to hear from you and ooo lord about the lift problems!! exactly what happened to us. I LOVED what you said about your mums velvet top. I love it! As for SW London, my son and family live there ... so it may have travelled up on an e mail, the lift lurgy ...love and best, Geraldinexxxx

 

[kindred]

OK. I've been rumbled. Either that or a mole from K's home reads this post!! Anyway, when I arrived, on the little table I use when I sit by Keith was a napkin and a pen already for me to write my notes ...and I could hear giggles as I looked around, puzzled.
If I could rewind a little, this morning I came to Keith's home via collecting my laundry and a bloke staggered in with goodness knows how many big bags of blankets and stuff and shouted, the poo! the poo! No, he wasn't one of us, turns out he's got seven labrador puppies as yet too tender to push outside to do it.
That cheered me up no end. probably not the laundry though ...

Lovely light in the home, that golden autumn light. Keith wide awake and in ho ho ho mood, telling me a story and saying if I could provide him, with a boat, he would make sure the seams were dry. After the songs, he leaned forward confidentially and told me that power is a mistake ...
In what way, I asked, as I would a student at work.
But he was asleep by then, so the great thought is probably lost to philosophy.

I played I love you to the moon and back with another resident and after saying the sun when it was her turn, she was stumped, so I offered her the choice of the stars, the clouds or the carpet. I will not insult you by asking you to guess what she chose ...

Lovely dinner. I was obliged to take a mouthful when no one was looking (I hope).

Thanks guys, off for a flu jab in a mo, it's got to be done, I guess.

 

[kindred]

so sorry folks, I'm completely flattened by the flu jab from yesterday afternoon ... deja vu as was very ill with it last year, as was Keith.
Please come back and join us tomorrow.
Love and best, Geraldinexxx