Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

[Jezzer]

Hi @kindred - as usual I've been reading but haven't been posting on your thread. I'm frantically busy and have not had much to contribute, especially as I have felt keenly from reading the many contributions, that if it is a spouse who is your PWD the dynamic has to be so very different from a parent who is your PWD.

Loved today's story - the Pikachu costume episode was hilarious - but by far the best bit was Keith's words to you in the midst of it all. Put a lump in my throat.
Busy packing, as I am off to Sicily tomorrow for a much yearned for week away. Visiting Mum this afternoon - she will not be happy. It's difficult to know what to do. She forgets my visit as soon as I have left the building and tells everyone she has no visitors, and yet she knows /senses? my absence on the rare occasions that I am away or unwell. I know all about love lies and know that telling her I am going on holiday will unsettle her, but I am unable to lie to her when she ALWAYS asks when I will next be there (usually every other day). My twisted logic is that if I am untruthful once and she realises, she will never trust me again. I feel for the care staff as she will be angsty all week thinking that I am dead (well that's what usually happens). My lovely daughter is doing her weekly visit tomorrow and will pop in after work to see Mum in my absence - but it makes little difference, she only wants me.
Recently Mum keeps talking about carthorses in her room?!? I keep a watchful eye as a while ago this was the euphemism she used for a certain bodily function Thankfully I think she means something else, but not quite sure what! I know the miniature pony visited, but that's hardly a carthorse. Oh and soldiers too! And a fat grunty pig (although I've worked that one out - it's an agency male carer she doesn't like!)

Got to go - lots to do. Take care and will be back soon!

XX

Enjoy your much needed break Toony. With Love Jan xxxx

 

[kindred]

Hi @kindred - as usual I've been reading but haven't been posting on your thread. I'm frantically busy and have not had much to contribute, especially as I have felt keenly from reading the many contributions, that if it is a spouse who is your PWD the dynamic has to be so very different from a parent who is your PWD.

Loved today's story - the Pikachu costume episode was hilarious - but by far the best bit was Keith's words to you in the midst of it all. Put a lump in my throat.
Busy packing, as I am off to Sicily tomorrow for a much yearned for week away. Visiting Mum this afternoon - she will not be happy. It's difficult to know what to do. She forgets my visit as soon as I have left the building and tells everyone she has no visitors, and yet she knows /senses? my absence on the rare occasions that I am away or unwell. I know all about love lies and know that telling her I am going on holiday will unsettle her, but I am unable to lie to her when she ALWAYS asks when I will next be there (usually every other day). My twisted logic is that if I am untruthful once and she realises, she will never trust me again. I feel for the care staff as she will be angsty all week thinking that I am dead (well that's what usually happens). My lovely daughter is doing her weekly visit tomorrow and will pop in after work to see Mum in my absence - but it makes little difference, she only wants me.
Recently Mum keeps talking about carthorses in her room?!? I keep a watchful eye as a while ago this was the euphemism she used for a certain bodily function Thankfully I think she means something else, but not quite sure what! I know the miniature pony visited, but that's hardly a carthorse. Oh and soldiers too! And a fat grunty pig (although I've worked that one out - it's an agency male carer she doesn't like!)

Got to go - lots to do. Take care and will be back soon!

XX

Oh my darling, carthorses and soldiers, not to mention the fat grumpy pig!! There could be a children's story made out of this!!! I do see your dilemma but of course you must go, Sicily of all wonderful things, it's so so good to hear from you sweetheart and have a brilliant time and fill your mind with glorious images. GxxxxxThank you!!

 

[kindred]

Just short visit this afternoon with our son Peter. Very nice, I appear to have become a legend in my own lifetime with that yellow bunny lark!!
Keith smiled a lot which is amazing for the afternoon!
More anon folks, I am threatened with photographs about the yellow rabbit.
Church tomorrow, so will check back in on Monday.
Love, Geraldine xxxxx

 

[AliceA]

I think a photo of the two of us might just be the thing. Especially for his hospital stay. Last surgery he came home very confused, then developed sepsis, and his confusion and delirium went off the scale. He thought the man opposite was in a Citroen car.
It constantly surprises me that other people are going through the same as me. It feels so unique, but of course it isn’t. So your comments and knowing that you understand, that you are experiencing the same trials and tribulations, is comforting.
I too have a family that live 300 miles away, they have their own lives, run their own business, and I don’t get to see them. Sometimes I think it is a blessing as I’m not sure I have the energy or inclination to be sociable for more than a couple of hours. Sounds dreadful doesn’t it. And now I’m ashamed of feeling like that.
Please take care and thank you xx

The photo is a grand idea. I have a very small album with a few copy photos in for hospital stays. I am going to start wearing perfume again so that the scent is a link to me and home.
We won a soft toy sometime ago, I was going to pass it on but just before I did I was told just how much it was liked! It is attractive with an expression!
Families can be a challenge to energy bless them. Some are so busy and others cannot cope! I find too that socialising is quite tiring. short an sweet is best for me. Considering I loved cooking and at one time three large parties is quite a change. Be kind to yourself, I often post this but we do have to let up a bit.

 

[carolynp]

The photo is a grand idea. I have a very small album with a few copy photos in for hospital stays. I am going to start wearing perfume again so that the scent is a link to me and home.
We won a soft toy sometime ago, I was going to pass it on but just before I did I was told just how much it was liked! It is attractive with an expression!
Families can be a challenge to energy bless them. Some are so busy and others cannot cope! I find too that socialising is quite tiring. short an sweet is best for me. Considering I loved cooking and at one time three large parties is quite a change. Be kind to yourself, I often post this but we do have to let up a bit.

Yes, we do have to let up a bit, exactly right.

 

[Lindy50]

@kindred what an amazing post! Think we should call you honey bun from now on! So pleased to hear Keith’s words to you too - so moving xx

@Jezzer great to hear from you and hope you’re well

@Toony Oony your mum sounds a bit like mine. Have a brilliant time in Sicily

@AliceA I used to love cooking and entertaining too, still do to an extent. Parties of 40 or more were my forte, 12 is now about my limit - and I prepare lots of things in advance too. Yes we do have to adapt a bit (or a lot!) Hope your appointments etc are going well

@carolynp lovely to hear from you, thinking of you x

Sorry if I’ve missed anyone. Having a mad busy week. Spent last night (6pm to 4am) in A & E with daughter who was acutely ill but turned out to have nothing more nor less than gastroenteritis Have spent the day tending to her and washing all towels, sheets, clothes etc in an attempt to prevent spread of bug. Keep your fingers crossed the whole family doesn’t get it, guys!!

Love to all
Lindy xx

 

[AliceA]

@kindred what an amazing post! Think we should call you honey bun from now on! So pleased to hear Keith’s words to you too - so moving xx

@Jezzer great to hear from you and hope you’re well

@Toony Oony your mum sounds a bit like mine. Have a brilliant time in Sicily

@AliceA I used to love cooking and entertaining too, still do to an extent. Parties of 40 or more were my forte, 12 is now about my limit - and I prepare lots of things in advance too. Yes we do have to adapt a bit (or a lot!) Hope your appointments etc are going well

@carolynp lovely to hear from you, thinking of you x

Sorry if I’ve missed anyone. Having a mad busy week. Spent last night (6pm to 4am) in A & E with daughter who was acutely ill but turned out to have nothing more nor less than gastroenteritis Have spent the day tending to her and washing all towels, sheets, clothes etc in an attempt to prevent spread of bug. Keep your fingers crossed the whole family doesn’t get it, guys!!

Love to all
Lindy xx

Happy Sunday everyone, hope next week goes smoothly! When is the premiere of the film, Geraldine? That is after the book launch of course. And the plague of yellow rabbits.
Enjoy the holiday Oony.
I hope bug does not spread.
Cooking for two is enough these days. I still pre-prep where I can. So many days are hijacked!
Thanks about Medical Apps. They have thrown a real spanner in the works!

 

[Manc70]

OK guys, are you ready for this. You think you've read barmy on this thread before, well this will beat all. Let me just refill my cup of tea.
So, went in yesterday all quiet. Keith willing to sing a few military marches with me, well, like I said, boom di boom di boom but I'm past expecting much more ...
AND THEN the activity nurse on duty burst into the room wearing a bright yellow rabbit suit with ears. (It's supposed to be a pokemon character but a rabbit to the rest of us). And she jumped about and we teamed up and sang run rabbit run, my version -
run rabbit run rabbit run run run
Don't give the farmer his fun fun fun
He'll get by
with a co-op frozen pie
so run rabbit run rabbit run run run run run
And everyone who was awake brightened up, so we did it again, helping them to join in.
And then the big yellow rabbit went off to the other areas to see other residents and I settled back down with Keith.
AND THEN the yellow rabbit came back but no longer in rabbit gear and plonked the costume in my lap and said, your turn.
Split second while I think, oh my bad hip, my advancing years etc etc, but then I tried to put it on. Activity nurses wear trousers, I wear skirts, so off I go to the staff loo to take my skirt off and put the costume on.
Then I burst out of the staff loo as a rabbit and immediately one of the residents who up to then had been very depressed that morning actually giggled and said he wanted to put me on a lead. So I decided there might be something in this.
So off we go and this time it's me in the rabbit song, and we're singing run rabbit and most residents are awake now and having a good laugh and there's masses of energy in the room. And I go to sing it to Keith and the effect on him is pretty electric too. He laughs. I bend forward to kiss him and whisper in his ear, it's what we have to do isn't it? And he whispers back, yes darling, it is, it's all about you and me, you've done this very well.
Time to change out of the costume to cover my tears, so back to the staff loo AND THEN I notice mypretty pink skirt is missing. I know where I put it so look everywhere,l and have to put the rabbit costume back on while I search (am I going to have to go home in this, through the park? Oh well, they'll only think I'm a University Fresher after a night out). Eventually track it down behind a resident's head, so there must have been a secret raid on the staff loo.
Relieved, put it back on and return rabbit costume.
Then it's time for another cup of tea and a cake ...
What do you think, guys? xxxxxxGeraldine aka kindred bunny. More poems next week by request, thank you. I love writing them.

Hi Geraldine, what a fabulous, wonderful story teller you are - I may have told you before, you lift my spirits, inspire me and give me hope. Keith’s reaction is very touching, may I ask how long you have been together, I apologise if it is something you have mentioned before, I suspect a long time. My husband and I had a good week - went to meet friends at a National Trust house, an evening at the cinema to see La Boheme recorded at Sydney Harbour (fabulous) a very social crown green bowling match followed by afternoon tea (return match and our turn to make cake this coming week) and taking one of our grandsons out for a lovely Italian meal one evening before he goes into the army (today and I shall miss him). Then wham on Friday a very confused day when he didn’t remember any of the previous events, has been in a low mood since and just wants to sleep. But I’m going to try and consider myself lucky for the good days and hope we have more. Maybe we did too much although I don’t call upon him to do much in between our outings. This week I have been an electrician and even a plumber following a YouTube video to mend a slow filling cistern in the loo along with all the usual stuff to keep us going. Xxx

@Sad Staffs, I know you follow Geraldine’s thread so can I just say that if it is this week your husband has his surgery, you said you were very concerned because of previous experience and I hope all goes as well as possible and that you are ok and coping. Love and hugs xx

 

[Sad Staffs]

Hello @Manc70
Thank you so much for remembering. My husband goes in on the 26 September... not that long now! It is normally an overnight stay, but the anaesthetist suggested they may keep him in longer, just got to wait and see the outcome. I’m just terrified of what I find post anaesthetic. Totally out of my control, and I’m not good at that.
He is constantly worrying. Keeps getting the information out, putting it back, then it’s back out again. I just have to try to reassure him, not easy when I don’t have the patience of Job.
Yes, I love reading Geraldine’s posts, she is such an inspiration to so many of us.
I must admit that I do have breaks from TP for a day or two. I read something and it upsets me and I have to regroup. I’m fickle as well as bossy! But it’s also like a drug,and I’m back getting the morale support I need from people like you.
So again thank you for thinking of me. Take care.
Love and hugs. B xx

 

[Sad Staffs]

The photo is a grand idea. I have a very small album with a few copy photos in for hospital stays. I am going to start wearing perfume again so that the scent is a link to me and home.
We won a soft toy sometime ago, I was going to pass it on but just before I did I was told just how much it was liked! It is attractive with an expression!
Families can be a challenge to energy bless them. Some are so busy and others cannot cope! I find too that socialising is quite tiring. short an sweet is best for me. Considering I loved cooking and at one time three large parties is quite a change. Be kind to yourself, I often post this but we do have to let up a bit.

Hi @AliceA
Just thought I would tell you that we sorted a picture out that he likes, and we went to Boots yesterday and bought me another bottle of my favourite perfume, so no chance of running out.
He is allergic to most perfumes, but this one is light and pretty, and Keeley Hawes wears it, at least on the advert she does, so I know he recognises and associates the smell with me, and Keeley Hawes!!
Lovely chatting with you.
Love B xx

 

[Sad Staffs]

OK guys, are you ready for this. You think you've read barmy on this thread before, well this will beat all. Let me just refill my cup of tea.
So, went in yesterday all quiet. Keith willing to sing a few military marches with me, well, like I said, boom di boom di boom but I'm past expecting much more ...
AND THEN the activity nurse on duty burst into the room wearing a bright yellow rabbit suit with ears. (It's supposed to be a pokemon character but a rabbit to the rest of us). And she jumped about and we teamed up and sang run rabbit run, my version -
run rabbit run rabbit run run run
Don't give the farmer his fun fun fun
He'll get by
with a co-op frozen pie
so run rabbit run rabbit run run run run run
And everyone who was awake brightened up, so we did it again, helping them to join in.
And then the big yellow rabbit went off to the other areas to see other residents and I settled back down with Keith.
AND THEN the yellow rabbit came back but no longer in rabbit gear and plonked the costume in my lap and said, your turn.
Split second while I think, oh my bad hip, my advancing years etc etc, but then I tried to put it on. Activity nurses wear trousers, I wear skirts, so off I go to the staff loo to take my skirt off and put the costume on.
Then I burst out of the staff loo as a rabbit and immediately one of the residents who up to then had been very depressed that morning actually giggled and said he wanted to put me on a lead. So I decided there might be something in this.
So off we go and this time it's me in the rabbit song, and we're singing run rabbit and most residents are awake now and having a good laugh and there's masses of energy in the room. And I go to sing it to Keith and the effect on him is pretty electric too. He laughs. I bend forward to kiss him and whisper in his ear, it's what we have to do isn't it? And he whispers back, yes darling, it is, it's all about you and me, you've done this very well.
Time to change out of the costume to cover my tears, so back to the staff loo AND THEN I notice mypretty pink skirt is missing. I know where I put it so look everywhere,l and have to put the rabbit costume back on while I search (am I going to have to go home in this, through the park? Oh well, they'll only think I'm a University Fresher after a night out). Eventually track it down behind a resident's head, so there must have been a secret raid on the staff loo.
Relieved, put it back on and return rabbit costume.
Then it's time for another cup of tea and a cake ...
What do you think, guys? xxxxxxGeraldine aka kindred bunny. More poems next week by request, thank you. I love writing them.

Oh my goodness @kindred, how on earth can I respond to that. What an absolutely amazing post. You really are a treasure to me, and to so many of us. But I think it must also be quite hard for you to be so upbeat in your posts. They truly are wonderful and full of interest and inspiration.
So thank you Geraldine... sending much love to you.
Look after yourself as you are so important to so many of us.
Love Bxx

 

[AliceA]

Hi @AliceA
Just thought I would tell you that we sorted a picture out that he likes, and we went to Boots yesterday and bought me another bottle of my favourite perfume, so no chance of running out.
He is allergic to most perfumes, but this one is light and pretty, and Keeley Hawes wears it, at least on the advert she does, so I know he recognises and associates the smell with me, and Keeley Hawes!!
Lovely chatting with you.
Love B xx

Well done, we certaintly have to be inventive! I am trying to recover after a hospital appointment, I had a treatment and the consultant insists on sedation, we arrived home to find builders back on job so no rest! Following day rest as advised, but no an offer to move furniture was too good to refuse! Sunday rest, no, piles of stuff from moved furniture to sort!
Tomorrow? No plan to rest, I seem to think my friend was right in saying Make plans and God laughs! It must be an anxious time for you, sometimes it seems whatever we do life takes over. Just before bedtime, I was told my beloved had a wobble in the garden had to sit for a while to recover. So I have sleepily taken his BP, mine was much higher! So best keep all eyes on him tomorrow including the ones in the bad of my head! love, A, x

 

[Malalie]

"What do you think, guys?"

I think that you are a legend in your own lifetime Geraldine. You posts are amazing, funny, uplifting, poignant and real.

Love to you and your lovely man...... XXX

 

[kindred]

Hi Geraldine, what a fabulous, wonderful story teller you are - I may have told you before, you lift my spirits, inspire me and give me hope. Keith’s reaction is very touching, may I ask how long you have been together, I apologise if it is something you have mentioned before, I suspect a long time. My husband and I had a good week - went to meet friends at a National Trust house, an evening at the cinema to see La Boheme recorded at Sydney Harbour (fabulous) a very social crown green bowling match followed by afternoon tea (return match and our turn to make cake this coming week) and taking one of our grandsons out for a lovely Italian meal one evening before he goes into the army (today and I shall miss him). Then wham on Friday a very confused day when he didn’t remember any of the previous events, has been in a low mood since and just wants to sleep. But I’m going to try and consider myself lucky for the good days and hope we have more. Maybe we did too much although I don’t call upon him to do much in between our outings. This week I have been an electrician and even a plumber following a YouTube video to mend a slow filling cistern in the loo along with all the usual stuff to keep us going. Xxx

@Sad Staffs, I know you follow Geraldine’s thread so can I just say that if it is this week your husband has his surgery, you said you were very concerned because of previous experience and I hope all goes as well as possible and that you are ok and coping. Love and hugs xx

THANK YOU so very much. Been with Keith since we were 18/19 - he chatted me up in the registration queue at University, tall dark and looking like Gregory Peck AND THEN he got me a complete set of the set books I needed as a gift because the bookshop was running our ...
so, together since 1965. That sound a good week with the National Trust and La Boheme. Hope all goes well for you sweetheart and so good to hear. Can't write more as am technically at work ...love and best, Geraldine and thank you!

 

[kindred]

"What do you think, guys?"

I think that you are a legend in your own lifetime Geraldine. You posts are amazing, funny, uplifting, poignant and real.

Love to you and your lovely man...... XXX

ThankYOU!! Gxxx

 

[Sad Staffs]

Well done, we certaintly have to be inventive! I am trying to recover after a hospital appointment, I had a treatment and the consultant insists on sedation, we arrived home to find builders back on job so no rest! Following day rest as advised, but no an offer to move furniture was too good to refuse! Sunday rest, no, piles of stuff from moved furniture to sort!
Tomorrow? No plan to rest, I seem to think my friend was right in saying Make plans and God laughs! It must be an anxious time for you, sometimes it seems whatever we do life takes over. Just before bedtime, I was told my beloved had a wobble in the garden had to sit for a while to recover. So I have sleepily taken his BP, mine was much higher! So best keep all eyes on him tomorrow including the ones in the bad of my head! love, A, x

It strikes me that you really do need to try to rest and look after yourself. You won’t recover properly at the rate you are going, so please take care, easy for me to say.... I know how impossible that might be. Now I really do sound like my mother! She once told me I couldn’t wash my hair when I had my period as if I did I would go deaf! Oh, my Mom was just wonderful...
I checked it out... got it wrong... the perfume is Kiera Knightly, and my car is advertised by Keeley Hawes. Either way, I’m ok with that.
Take care. Having a rough day here already. He’s like a bear with a sore head, but he has no idea why it is sore!
Please look after yourself....
Love B xx

 

[AliceA]

It strikes me that you really do need to try to rest and look after yourself. You won’t recover properly at the rate you are going, so please take care, easy for me to say.... I know how impossible that might be. Now I really do sound like my mother! She once told me I couldn’t wash my hair when I had my period as if I did I would go deaf! Oh, my Mom was just wonderful...
I checked it out... got it wrong... the perfume is Kiera Knightly, and my car is advertised by Keeley Hawes. Either way, I’m ok with that.
Take care. Having a rough day here already. He’s like a bear with a sore head, but he has no idea why it is sore!
Please look after yourself....
Love B xx

Thanks Mum! You are right. Will you try honeying up to your bear they normally like honey! Or is he too grumpy for that? So you make the third beautiful woman, they say things come in threes. x

 

[kindred]

Back again and with an, um, unusual tale to tell ... anyway, Keith took one look at me and asked me what voltage I was, and according to the nurses he had been chattering away about light bulbs all morning. I had come after work, too bushed to do my usual high voltage (hee hee) turn, had had a particularly horrible IT morning ... I'm sure you know the feeling! Anyway, sat with Keith and instead of cake we had hot croissants with cups of tea and lots of jam on croissants, so that was a nice, if sticky change. Keith got covered in it all, fortunately I bring baby wipes for us both.
So then it was going home time and I reach in my work bag (huge thing) to get my cardigan and a long pink worm crawls up my arm ... Am frozen in fear, not of worms, but of what this means ... Tomorrow guys, I will tell you how my attempt to kidnap a bag of worms has misfired ...

You don't remember anything
blue eyed boy
but once you called me
your prize for living
thank you.

 

[Lindy50]

Kidnapping a bag of worms?!? Soon I really will have heard everything!! X

 

[Batsue]

I'm looking forward to your next instalment.