Please all help welcome

[Nightsky]

Really grateful for any advice.
My father in law shows all the signs of early dementia (in my opinion only based on my grandmother going through it). He's only 70.
My mother in law I think knows but is saying it's all ok as he's really amiable. My husband (his son) wants to help but isn't sure what to do for the best. And my sister in law (his daughter) is in denial too.
My father in law has seen his GP. Been sent for a brain scan and all ok with scan. However referred to memory clinic and not gone yet (months later).
I'm keen for him to get all the professional assessments and advice he can, but the rest of his family seem to prefer to put off and bury their heads in the sand.
I'm worried that I just sound like I'm nagging now.
Any advice from anyone who's been through something similar - how to encourage someone you're concerned about (or the people around them) to seek professional support more quickly?
It must be really very scary for him and for everyone very close to him. I get that. Just want to help in the best way I can.
Thank you so much to anyone who can offer any helpful advice
N x

 

[TinaT]

Sadly dementia is a disease which becomes all too apparent as time goes by. I would hold on a little longer with help in getting a diagnosis. It might take the rest of the family a while to finally accept a proper diagnosis and as far as I know there is no immediate medication which can stave off the disease.

MIL will need help as this illness progresses, of that I have no doubt.

xxTinaT

 

[Kevinl]

Hi Nightsky and welcome to TP
I have to say 70 isn't exactly young to be getting some signs of normal ageing like general forgetfulness that starts much earlier some would say from in your 40's. My yardstick is how he compares to his piers, how does he compare with other people his age and if you don't really know then wait for the next family "do" and see how he compares with his siblings, cousins and other people his age. I used to be able to outsmart my son all the time when he was young, now he's nearly got a Phd and I'm pushing 60 he's starting to get the edge.
If the brain scan is clear that's good, but the memory clinic assessment won't (in my view) settle much, if you know what day of the week is, who the prime minister is and a handful of other bits then you'll pass without a problem.
You obviously have a concern and seem to be a "voice in the wilderness" with the rest of the family so I'd go out with him and some of his 70 year old mates so you can see him in the context of his age and get him to do a "well man" assessment with the doctors in case there is some other underlying illness (like thyroid problems for example). As we all live longer the expectations of how we'll be as older people increases it wasn't long ago that "three score years and ten" was a great age, now you could be a 70 year old bloke and be Joan Collin's toyboy, how times have changed.
K

 

[Nightsky]

Sadly dementia is a disease which becomes all too apparent as time goes by. I would hold on a little longer with help in getting a diagnosis. It might take the rest of the family a while to finally accept a proper diagnosis and as far as I know there is no immediate medication which can stave off the disease.

MIL will need help as this illness progresses, of that I have no doubt.

xxTinaT

Thank you so much TinaT appreciate that. Guess I had understood that medication could halt the disease's progress in some cases and therefore the sooner we know the better. Will read more posts on here to gather more info and views. Appreciate your response very much.Thanks again. N.

 

[Nightsky]

Hi Nightsky and welcome to TP
I have to say 70 isn't exactly young to be getting some signs of normal ageing like general forgetfulness that starts much earlier some would say from in your 40's. My yardstick is how he compares to his piers, how does he compare with other people his age and if you don't really know then wait for the next family "do" and see how he compares with his siblings, cousins and other people his age. I used to be able to outsmart my son all the time when he was young, now he's nearly got a Phd and I'm pushing 60 he's starting to get the edge.
If the brain scan is clear that's good, but the memory clinic assessment won't (in my view) settle much, if you know what day of the week is, who the prime minister is and a handful of other bits then you'll pass without a problem.
You obviously have a concern and seem to be a "voice in the wilderness" with the rest of the family so I'd go out with him and some of his 70 year old mates so you can see him in the context of his age and get him to do a "well man" assessment with the doctors in case there is some other underlying illness (like thyroid problems for example). As we all live longer the expectations of how we'll be as older people increases it wasn't long ago that "three score years and ten" was a great age, now you could be a 70 year old bloke and be Joan Collin's toyboy, how times have changed.
K

Thanks KevinI for responding. Really helpful. I have seen him over the past 9 months being very confused, particularly in unfamiliar environments. Two holidays and on each one much confusion and difficulty in understanding where he was and what was happening next. I guess as it's progressed slowly my mother in law is getting used to it. She's also making excuses for him. I've also seen him show emotions that I haven't seen before such as anger, which seems to me borne out of frustration. It appears to me (and my father who watched his mum go through it) to be pretty classic. However, maybe I need to voice my opinion and then let my mother and father in law do what they feel is right and if that's to delay further then so be it. Just feel that if it were possible for him to have medication to halt the progress then that would be a great thing. I'm going to read a lot more on here anyway and see what I can pick up. Thank you again for your response. Very grateful.