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Planning for the future

buzbyc

New member
Apr 27, 2021
1
0
HI everyone,

First post from me and any advice/suggestions would be very much appreciated, or confirmation that I'm doing the right thing....or not!

Brief summary:
77yr old Dad living on his own (mom died 15 yrs ago).
I'm the only (48yr old) child, and was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease 7yrs ago, and live 150 miles away!
Some mild confusion pre COVID but has got a lot worse since then, mainly problems with short term memory and over recent months very confused about dates and times. Particularly recently getting very anxious about appointments and from a week before increases the number of phone calls because he constantly thinks today is when the appointment is. E.g CT scan tomorrow, which I'm travelling up to take him to, and 5 missed calls at 2 and 3 am (I leave my phone downstairs at night) and he apparently made multiple calls to other friends/relatives desperately wanting to speak to me. Spoke to him first thing this morning and he wasn't really sure why he was ringing in the night.
Consultant psychiatrist appointment for probable diagnosis on 24th May.

So I'm already trying to think of the future (POA is being discussed and will be sorted in a few weeks), but I'm increasingly concerned because I know that my own health condition is particularly influenced by stress (and has already got worse over the last six months) and I'm trying to balance care for myself and family at home, and care for my dad.

I realize there won't be any easy answers but your thoughts will be appreciated.
Thanks
Nick
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,264
0
N Ireland
Hello @buzbyc, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in your Dad's area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,264
0
N Ireland
Hello again @buzbyc, just to follow up on your Dad's behaviour, don't discount the possibility of Depression and Anxiety as these are common bedfellows of dementia. My wife is treated for these as well as her dementia.

A chat with the GP may get you some help. If you would like to read the Society Factsheet about this issue just click the 2nd line of the following link

Supporting a person with dementia who has depression, anxiety or apathy (444)
PDF printable version

The phone calls at night will be due to anxiety and the fact that people with dementia can lose track of the time of day. Getting the anxiety sorted may help with that.
 

GraceG

Registered User
Jul 30, 2020
26
0
HI everyone,

First post from me and any advice/suggestions would be very much appreciated, or confirmation that I'm doing the right thing....or not!

Brief summary:
77yr old Dad living on his own (mom died 15 yrs ago).
I'm the only (48yr old) child, and was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease 7yrs ago, and live 150 miles away!
Some mild confusion pre COVID but has got a lot worse since then, mainly problems with short term memory and over recent months very confused about dates and times. Particularly recently getting very anxious about appointments and from a week before increases the number of phone calls because he constantly thinks today is when the appointment is. E.g CT scan tomorrow, which I'm travelling up to take him to, and 5 missed calls at 2 and 3 am (I leave my phone downstairs at night) and he apparently made multiple calls to other friends/relatives desperately wanting to speak to me. Spoke to him first thing this morning and he wasn't really sure why he was ringing in the night.
Consultant psychiatrist appointment for probable diagnosis on 24th May.

So I'm already trying to think of the future (POA is being discussed and will be sorted in a few weeks), but I'm increasingly concerned because I know that my own health condition is particularly influenced by stress (and has already got worse over the last six months) and I'm trying to balance care for myself and family at home, and care for my dad.

I realize there won't be any easy answers but your thoughts will be appreciated.
Thanks
Nick

My mother has dementia and I found the pshychiatrist in my experience will be very supportive and hopefully will give recommendations based on the diagnosis. In light of what you have said becoming increasingly concerned in light of your own health, it probably will be appropriate for a social worker referral who will recommend suitable supportfor your father - perhaps extra care sheltered accommodation or a residential/nursing home. I hope this helps. Grace