Planning ahead


Registered User
Jul 7, 2007
Good morning all,

Just had another night worrying - as you do !

Has anyone got any ideas as to what we can do NOW and in the next few years to avoid our own very dear daughter going thro' with us what we are going thro' with our AZ Mum ?

Of course, I know that it may never happen but if it does ????

Only thing I can think of now is LPAs for both of us. Is there anything more we can/should do really well in advance ?



Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
I would also hate my son to go through what I have gone through with my mum. I think LPAs are an excellent idea as we are having a lot of problems because of my mum not having had an EPA. I also think it is a good idea to look at your finances/wills etc in general and see if there is anything you can do to protect your finances in the event of illness. That would be something you might need to take professional advice on though, as it is a complex area and the laws are always changing. I don't think there is much you can do to prepare someone for the emotional side of having a loved one with a serious condition unfortunately.

At the end of the day it is hopefully extremely unlikely that either of you will become ill but it is sensible to prepare for that eventuality. At least then you can forget about it and go on living your (hopefully very healthy) lives!


Registered User
Oct 16, 2007
manchester, uk
Hi Germain

I hope you do both carry on to live a full life and your daughter doesn't have to go through what you are going through.

One of the things my Nanna had done for a number of years before she passed was. She had paid for and arranged her own funeral, to a certain extent. I think with doing this it took a lot of pressure off my mum and Uncle, as the funeral directors already knew most of the details.

Take Care


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
An Advance Statement is also a good idea. It saves the family the trauma of having to decide to PEG or not to PEG, resuscitate or not resuscitate.

I went through that with my mum, and even though I knew what she would have wanted, it still came down to my decision, and that's so hard when you're upset anyway.


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
My son knows my feelings. I`m beginning to think that`s not enough.
Hazel, is there a difference between an advance statement and a living will?
Love xx


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
I don't think so, Sylvia.

As far as I know (and I may well be wrong here) the advance statement is a more formal document. It has to be signed and witnessed, and someone appointed to ensure your wishes are carried out, so it avoids future family disagreements.

But it could be just another name for the same thing.


Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
As well as the living will type thing, which one hopes will be at least considerd by medical professionals, I think a written statement to immediate family to try and allay future guilt might be worthwhile. The one single thing I do not want my children to do is sacrifice themselves on some altar of perceived responsibility.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Thanks Hazel.
I am definitely going to put something in writing and ask my GP to OK it.


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
When Peter was first diagnoised with A.D. We did our will, Peter with E.P.A. chose who he wanted in case something happened to me.
Then he was so insitant on a document which consisted of the following:
No resusitation,
Organ donation,
Brain to be donated to A.S. for Research.
Document was drawn up and Doctor and Nursing Home have copies.
At the beginning, I was upset but they were Peter's wishes.
Best wishes. Christine

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