Photo books

[GROCKLE]

My sister has Alzheimer's, lives alone with support carers coming in 6x / week.
She still knows my name on the phone and I can't visit because of the pandemic and live in Switzerland.
I wanted to ask if there are any do's and definite dont's for the Photobook contents.
I'm planning to do one for my half sister 82, born 1939, her father was killed in the war she never really saw or knew him, but there are photos. I want to keep the picture numbers down and include names and where possible dates / age. A few years ago, when she visited me here in Switzerland, she wanted to go to Anzio Beachhead in Italy where her father fell. But the circumstances were not such that we could carry out this wish.
My mother remarried when my sister was about 7 and had me, I'm 10 years younger.
Do I show family photos from the past with my mother and her father? I'm sure she recognizes them at the moment. Do I show family photos of my mother, me and her with my father?
I have lots of pictures from events such as 2 weeks on the Cornish coastal footpath we did together when we were younger which would for sure trigger the memory, and many from more recent years with my family and children and grandchildren.
What about pictures of much loved family dog's?
Where does the sadness of a person or animal who has passed away caused increased hurt?
Should I include church friends who are currently helping to look after her?
How far to go?
As I say, any Do's and any Dont's?

Many thanks for your advice.

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @GROCKLE

I’m not sure there’s a right or a wrong way to do photo books. Is there anyway you could show some photos to your sister before you decide, perhaps using WhatsApp or similar, so that someone can decide what would be best?

I would also advise taking copies of any photos you want to keep as PWD often dispose of things they no longer recognise or remember.

 

[GROCKLE]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @GROCKLE

I’m not sure there’s a right or a wrong way to do photo books. Is there anyway you could show some photos to your sister before you decide, perhaps using WhatsApp or similar, so that someone can decide what would be best?

I would also advise taking copies of any photos you want to keep as PWD often dispose of things they no longer recognise or remember.

Since I live in Switzerland, and she lives in Devon, I can't really show her. Maybe WhatsApp with someone who goes there occasionally, but I am not sure that would help, I think the WhatsApp pictures are too small, I notice that even when we send her TouchNote Postcards regularly with names and dates on them.
The essence of the question is, when memory fades, how does it cope with those memory triggers, I have seen two (Swiss) grandparents go with dementia, I saw all stages even down to them not recognizing one another even when sharing the same care home room. I don't remember seeing sadness maybe puzzlement, trying to place the person.
I fortunately retrieved all the photos when I was over there 2 years ago - lucky, thanks for the tip, I hadn't thought of that, it could still happen with other things, but I think I have all other items well under control.

I believe a photo, with a name(s) maybe an event/location, maybe her age at the time next to the name could be useful, if not for the PWD but the carer, friend. i.e.

Grockle (73) at Dartmouth Castle

 

[GROCKLE]

I've been think about my photo book, usually they are chronological, however I think in the case of a PWD then it is maybe better to start with the present and go back in time and maybe culminating on the last page with a repeat of the present day main family persons?

 

[GROCKLE]

Time has moved on as has the Dementia, in the meantime at least I was able to visit her post covid restrictions the June and currently my son and his family are with her. So I have some recent photos too. Long term memory is still there but fading, but the short term memory is really bad.
Back to the photobook question, now I have some recent photos I'm enthusiastic again, and there is a new granddaughter in my family she hasn't met yet. I'm still undecided about the timeline layout. Bunpoots suggested showing them first with WhatsApp, thanks for your thoughts, but this is not really practical at this distance.
I have in June retrieved some more photos and papers.
So I'm back to the original questions about Do's and Don't. I'm tending not to exclude anything, her brain might not recognize it if it does not want to. Also going from present to historical events with a family photos summary page.
Anyway, we can inherit it as part of our history.
We regularly send Touchnote Postcards from myself, my sons and their families. The official carers often have to endure them being shown, but they are patient.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I don't think it matters. As you say, dementia moves on and there is no way you can know whch of your photos your sister will recognise or which will prompt good memories.

I don't think putting photos out of order will confuse her more but neither will changing the order help her to remember - she won't be able to follow the progression.

You might be better putting together a sort of scrap book filled with things you know she likes: pictures of cute animals (not necessarily ones she owned) or pretty flowers/gardens. Maybe threads and bits of fabric if she liked sewing/knitting. Her favourite music could be represented by pictures of the artist or album covers. Maybe pictures of places she has been or a few lines from a poem or book covers by her favourite authors. But it shouldn't feel like a memory test! My mother rejected the photo book my brother made because (she said) why would she want to see all those people? When I said it was her family she just said she still didn't want to look at them and I should take the book home. I think it was because she didn't recognise people and didn't want to admit that or seem stupid. Mum was often surprised to hear some of her relatives were dead but it never distressed her. If it had, I wouldn't have mentioned it.

There are no Dos and Don'ts, everyone with dementia is different. But don't get fixated on getting the photo book right - it won't make any difference to your sister.

 

[GROCKLE]

Thanks for your thoughts Jade, yes, Dementia is different for all. My sister has holes in the middle of her life memory which puzzle me. Much earlier memories are still there. I also pick up now more from the carer daily logs what she spoke about with them.
I think I will just go ahead now with our collection of pictures, as I said, knowing that we will one day hopefully inherit it again for our memories.

 

[GROCKLE]

Not exactly Photobooks, but regular Postcards.​

Living abroad and far away from a relative with Dementia, we have found using the Touchnote App to send postcards of photos to her with the date and names and other information on the back. She excitedly shows the daily carers the new cards, and they have something new to talk about.

 

[Izzy]

You might find these helpful -

Memory book for people with dementia. How to make a memory book.

Memory books help bring back memories for individuals with dementia. Learn how to make a memory book for people with dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

www.dementia.co.uk

10 Ways to Use the Power of Photos for Dementia Care [AlzWeek.com]

Photos and photo albums reduce social isolation and depression, providing comfort to people with dementia. Check out these helpful tips.

www.alzheimersweekly.com

 

[GROCKLE]

You might find these helpful -

Memory book for people with dementia. How to make a memory book.

Memory books help bring back memories for individuals with dementia. Learn how to make a memory book for people with dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

www.dementia.co.uk

10 Ways to Use the Power of Photos for Dementia Care [AlzWeek.com]

Photos and photo albums reduce social isolation and depression, providing comfort to people with dementia. Check out these helpful tips.

www.alzheimersweekly.com

Thanks for these, I was worried about putting in a photo of my sister's father who died in the war because she never really met and knew him, she was a small child. But I wasn't aware that putting in a picture of our Mum who died12 years ago with 95.5 might have caused a problem. I will have to think about this more carefully then. In fact, my sister seems almost to have wiped the picture of the house of my mum from her mind, she lived there several days a week before our mum died. Maybe that was already a traumatic sign. Yet, the house we grew up in, she still remembers when I show her a picture.

Interesting, these two references seem to be a little in conflict about this.
Also interesting, the one reference suggests going in chronological order not in reverse chronological order like I was thinking? I was thinking of present day photos first.

 

[Izzy]

I made photo books for both my mum and my husband. I’m afraid I didn’t use any guidance and just did my own thing. I did include photos of relatives who had passed away. My mum used to sit and leaf through the book. My husband was less interested but would look at it if I sat with him and talked about the photos.

 

[GROCKLE]

To order chronologically or reverse chronologically - that is the question?​

Thanks for the various inputs so far, all very useful. I'm still trying to make a decision on the ordering. One advice has been chronological ordered pictures. But I keep thinking of the situation where the person's Long Term Memory is still there, yet the Short Term memory is failing.
I am therefore sometimes thinking:

With a chronological ordering, the more recent pictures are at the end of the book and become less interesting, less recognizable or less likely to be remembered and maybe the person (PWD) fails even to recognize the photos which are the most recent, thus losing interest?
With a reverse chronological ordering, you refresh the present more often because that's where you start and towards the end of the book, the photos and memories are still for a while recognizable keeping them interesting?
Yet it goes against historical logic?

Of course, if a Relative, Carer or Friend is going through the book with the PWD person, there is some form of guidance.

More thoughts' anyone?

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I think the problem is that you are trying to use your own logic. But a dementia brain doesn't have that logic. There's really no way to know how your sister will react to any particular photo, or why. She might be reacting to the person or to the house in the picture. She may attach memories or she may not. (And those memories may be faulty!) What she likes one day, she may hate the next day, same for recognition of any people in the photos.

If she is looking through this photo book - in whatever order - with a carer, the carer won't know who anyone is so can only ask your sister, 'Who is this person?' That makes the whole thing into a test which is probaby not helpful. That's why I suggested a book full of lots of things she likes because then the carer can engage with her more: 'That's a cute kitten! Do you like cats? (Not: is this your cat?) Look at that beautiful sunset! Have you travelled much? (Not: is this a place you've been to? Did you go there on holiday?)' The big difference is that any questions can be open-ended rather than a test of her memory. I hope you understand what I mean...

What you can't do - unfortunately - is help to preserve her memories by sending a photo book. Sadly that's just not going to work. (Sorry to be so negative!)

 

[GROCKLE]

Thanks for your thoughts "Jade", I get what you are saying, yes, as an IT person I am trying to fit her potential behaviour into some form of logic.
In that case, Chronological is probably better for the narrator/carer etc... I need to start to think less of my sister actually and more of the person who might be showing it to my sister. By the time my sister picks it up, she might have forgotten why she picked it up in the first place.