Photos have brought great comfort

[2197alexandra]

I have been clearing dad's house this last couple of days and in yesterday's batch of things to return to my house with me was my parents photo collection.

I have spent the afternoon going through hundreds of old family snaps. All our cherished memories birthdays, holidays, school, camps,

It's been wonderful time explaining who everyone is to my children. They thought it was hilarious seeing there mummy in some of yesterday's fashions lots of pictures of me in lovely shell suits. Urgh.

Ah the memories. Found some lovely picture's of me and dad together so I'm gonna dig out a photo album and create a book that I can flick through when I'm missing him.

 

[canary]

Found some lovely picture's of me and dad together so I'm gonna dig out a photo album and create a book that I can flick through when I'm missing him.

What a lovely idea

 

[garnuft]

They do for me too, 2197alexandra.

I have thousands of Mam on my computer and look at them what ever my mood but when I am feeling especially down I find them inspirational.
Her smiling face and determined eyes send instant character reinforcement

'Howay Hinny, chin up, walk forward' she seems to say.

And so, I do as I'm told.

I have all of ours to scan for my siblings, my sister and I are eventually going to do it when we run out of excuses not to.

Your Dad is there, smiling back at you, pushing you and your family forward into life. (and probs getting a static electric shock from your shell suit).

 

[2197alexandra]

Then we have the other side of the coin.
I have just sat and read my mother's diaries from the five years prior to her death....
Gosh. I'm devastated she hid so much from us. She was so ill. Mum had ms so my whole life she was ill but the last five years with cancer on top of her ms really was horrific.
I wish she had told us. I wish she never chose to face it all alone. My poor mother put on the bravest face. I wish I hadn't of read them now. I've always struggled to grieve for mum I always thought it wad because she had asked me to help her die and I couldn't I had to sit back and watch her suffer for another three months.
If I knew ending I have learnt today maybe I might of made a different decision.
Jesus what have I opened up here.