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Phone call

Pear trees

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
I rang my mum on Tuesday. After the usual 30 minutes constant repetitive questions about bus times, lunch club, money she suddenly said 'do you have any children, I have two, never wanted them and they never do anything for me'
I found myself shouting at her that I was her daughter and she never cared for her children or her grandchildren. I then told her she was an evil old cow and I wanted no more to do with her and told her to die and slammed the phone down.
I have not felt able to visit or even call her since. I know she will have forgotten the call and we will be back to her usual rants, but I can't forgive myself for letting her get to me as she has done for over 50 years. My SIL has visited so I know Mum is OK.

I will call her today and will not let her upset me no matter how much she tries. She is simply not worth it.


Registered User
May 18, 2014
I sometimes feel so frustrated with it all, especially conversations she has with me about me! Now that she lives with me, if there is a hint of one of these chats coming I just walk out of the room and leave her talking to her dog. I take comfort in the fact that its the 'other me' she is talking about and the last few days she has been very critical of the 'other me' so keeping my distance in case I blow.


Registered User
Aug 19, 2015
Adelaide South Australia
Pear trees, I have the same problem but I generally hold my tongue. It's horrible to know that they are looking at you with rage and loathing even if it isn't "real". It sure feels real. Like your mum mine has always said "I wish I hadn't had kids, they cause nothing but trouble". She could hardly have had less troublesome children but not in her eyes.

I finally reached breaking point 2 weeks ago when she tore into me for placing her in her 5 star care home and called me a ****ing *****. I walked out and told my brother whom she doesn't abuse that he can do the visiting from now on and I will do everything else.

I can't go back. I can't do it anymore. She is safe, hates the sight of me and frankly I hate the sight of her. Enough said I think:mad:


Registered User
Jan 12, 2015
oh Andrea and Pear Trees, I feel for you both, I really do. I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to be mentally abused in such a way. It must be dreadful for you.
Dementia is truly wicked and I wish you both strength for the future xxx

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