phone call from Social services day centre

[Margarita]

I have just received a phone call from Social services day centre , asking if mum not taken her medication or needs an injection , what injection ? I said she does not take injections , what do you mean , she said that my mother
behavior changing , they never seen her like this before being very rude to people , she not physical aggressive just verbal aggressive , she fail so does not impose any harm!

I said has she seen someone talking to some man she like they called Tim ?

No she said

she been talking about thumping a woman that keep talking to Tom, because she taken him away from her . She thought she may be having a delusion .


So I said no , she talking about someone at AZ day centre that she like , (I have told mum not to hit anyone or they stop her from going . My mother said oh no she would not do that)



So I said but they someone at your day center called Tim ? Yes they is she said . well my mother like him also .

confusing or what ! So I said . some woman could be talking to him, she got the hump.

Oh she said your mother got a crash on him .






I ask her why has mum been coming home with different trouser on , has she been doing a number 2 , yes she said , as your mother sits they just S%$T herself ( her words ) .

I told her it never happen at home , so she said . she needs prompting now , so now she tell her to go to the toilet and do a Cha Cha .

I said she droping the medication not working, ( its really slowing down down )


So I said before my mother had AZ , she was always very abrupt , rude with people she did not like.

She went on to say they nothing to worry about , just that they thought as it was a change in her behavior they thought she needed medication injection, she was on some type of medication, just needed some more.

what! I said Ant psychotic ? No way I said I would not allow my mother to take those type of medication.

Not to worry she said . To right because if they can't handle my mother she not going they no more.


This never happen in the AZ day center , or if it does they know how to handel my mother so much better .

 

[Grannie G]

At least you were consulted Maggie, which is more than can be said for some. I think it was good that they phoned you.

 

[Margarita]

Yes it is really got to be positive


Just thought of something . The other day when I said to her . Oh another pair of toruses , you phoo yourself , mum said yes but I don't do it hear . (meaning at home with me )

I better be care full what I say to her , because I get the feeling now , in her saying that to me she scared of something.


6 years of holding it all back , 6 years of reading what happens. its happing now, as lest now I know what to expect .

 

[Margarita]

Just go to show how in a misconception how my mother perceive something gets the hump , and they wondering does she need an injection .

Just winds me up .

 

[noelphobic]

Just go to show how in a misconception how my mother perceive something gets the hump , and they wondering does she need an injection .

Just winds me up .

Did they maybe think that your mum was on insulin and that it was something to do with that Margarita?

 

[Margarita]

That what I thought at the beginning of the conversation so I did go on about mum blood tests half way though the conversation .( which reminds me that I have still not ask about , but I have made an appointment for myself next Thursday at the doctors )

She keep going on about how out character it was for my mother to be like that . abusive , but not physically abusive . she know my mother on tablets medication for her diabetic its on her files , as she really good know what to do when my mother sugar level go down so low .

As when we all went to Brighten seaside on a day trip , we all went for a meal mum collapsed at the table onto my lap she started shaking , she new how to bring her around with spoon full of sugar , while I look on in shock as I had never seen that happen to mum . Then
come around like nothing had happen or bright alert

So during conversation I had to tell her about the medication of Exbiza slowing down .


I don't I may be wrong , but its like mum real personality is coming back , or was
it not her real personality I saw in the delusion paranoia confusion in the mild / middle stages that made her think very delusional , paranoid, because she was not diagnosed with AZ till she was in the late stages . then it all went away delusional , paranoid, anger when she took exbiza in the late stages .

Now its all coming back , but its harmless irrational thinking . abusive verbally . can someone really be abusive who has AZ at someone ?
That how it must be perceived to the person they talking to or the general public .

I read when they are abusive verbally , its because they in pain or something upsetting them . They not abusive at the person , but something bothering them in they mind that they can't express in the normal way they use to .

 

[Margarita]

Oh what a relief ! what I would do with out the Alzheimer' s Day Centre I do not know .


( AZ day center just pick her up )

They know how abrupt and upset mum gets with people that to she does not like , How upset she gets with one worker she does not like, so tell him , how she like some one , and not the other people . some woman talk to a man she like , mum does not like it , so get upset angry with the woman

So you've notices this in my mother before I ask her ? Oh yes . we understand its the illness, don't give her any medication for it . Oh no I won't I said . I felt like kissing her

 

[Grannie G]

What a relief indeed.

The difference between knowing your mother`s Alzheimers is or isn`t understood, shows in your posts Maggie. I know you will have a more peaceful and less fraught day today, knowing your mother is in the care of those who understand her.

Enjoy today.

Love xx

 

[Margarita]

I know you will have a more peaceful and less fraught day today, knowing your mother is in the care of those who understand her.

That so true , that I am thinking about what to do with the other day centre ,

1 . give them one of my many books on AZ

2 Tell manger to send his staff to to a training course that the Alzheimer's society offer

3 I tell him to buy the training course/ video from the Alzheimer's society and I train his staff

 

[Margarita]

Well I take the last post all back .

When they drop my mother of today I was told from one of the helper tomorrow to ring the manger at the AZ day centre as they think my mother would benefit from those drugs .


This time I she said what ? , would benefit from what anti psychotic drugs and she said yes .

so I said but I would need to phone doctor to get it ? she said phone Lynn ( manger tomorrow )

Am feeling a bit confused, shock , lost that they would say she benefit from them . as how would my mother benefit from anti psychotic drugs?

I shall have to phone up tomorrow find out what going on

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Maggie,
They may find that your mother is more and more agitated in general, not just with one person. That's what the anti-psychotics are usually used for in AD patients. My mother has been on various anti-psychotics for over 7 years now. We've made changes, gone up & down etc.

I suggest you ask exactly what they would want to prescribe and how much. Do they plan on increasing it? Often these drugs start low & then they slowly ramp them up. when you know what it is, Google it for drug interactions with your mother's other meds. I find that www.mayoclinic.com is a good, reputable website. There's also the American gov't agency NIH site, it's very good also. Be careful of websites, you can get the crazy ones.

If you agree with the drug (and it may well help - certainly helped my mother) I would also recommend telling them you do not want the drug increased unless they contact you FIRST for approval.

 

[Margarita]

Thank you for replying Joanne

The think is my mother live with in .


So when you say

I suggest you ask exactly what they would want to prescribe and how much. Do they plan on increasing it?

I would have to go to the doctor talk to him all about it . as it be me in administering the drug

Its that she go to day center 5 days a week , so both day center are picking up on what you are also saying about more agitated in general.

( I shall ask Manger Lynn anyway what going on with my mother )


Was your mother living with you when they first started to give her anti-psychotics drugs ?

I don't find my mother any more challenging then normal . that what I can't understand why they can .

I just wonder if its because she in a cowed with lots of people , she just can't take it any more .

Have you got any thoughts on that please ?

PS Does they come a time when people with AZ can't go to day centre any more ?

 

[Margarita]

Ps

Thanks for that site am looking at it xx


another PS what if I say . Well I don't want to give my mother on anti-psychotics drugs so that she can be control in a group of people ?

 

[TinaT]

Dear Margarita,
Ken went to a day care centre for over a year. They were(and still are) wonderful poeple. They cared for Ken as if he was their own relative and supported me through some very difficult times. However, gradually, the day care became too much for Ken to handle and on a regular basis I got phone calls asking me to bring him home as he had become terribly distressed. He went into respite and after a few days they also phoned to ask could I bring him home as he was too distressed. So I was left with 24 hour care without cease and he still became very agitated and distressed.

At this point, I decided to ask could his medication be changed so that he could be helped to become calmer. More medication didn't help either!

You know and love your mum better than anyone else in the world. Your mum sounds a wonderful character and so full of life. Hopefully her 'latest' moods are just part and parcel of her own unique personality, rather than a deterioration in her condition.

Is she afraid of using the toilet in a strange place and could this be the reason why she is not going to the toilet normally as she does when she is at home with you? I remember my oldest son when he started infant school and this lasted until he was 18 and left school, he would not use school toilets. This played havoc with his digestion and he still has problems to this day because of this childhood phobia.

xxx TinaT

 

[Skye]

Maggie, John went to an AS day centre one day a week, and they were marvellous with him.

But wgat I can't understand is why you have to phone the manager. Unless your centre is different from ours, the manager is not a doctor, and only a doctor can prescribe medication. I think you need to talk it over with your mum's consultant -- perhaps that's what the manager wants to talk to you about?

Regarding the toilet, Tina may well have a point. Do you help your mum with toileting at home? Perhaps she's too embarrassed to ask anyone else -- or perhaps she's shy in front of her 'boyfriends'?

Let us know what happens.

Love,

 

[Margarita]

Is she afraid of using the toilet in a strange place and could this be the reason why she is not going to the toilet normally as she does when she is at home with you?

you have made a good point they Tina , as something is going on they about using the toilet, can't put my finger on it .

As in our toilet at home . I notice that she sit down on toilet then ask me to help her up .

Now on each side of her she has 2 hand rail to support herself to get up . I can not life her up because they no space at the side of the hand rail to life her up . I would have to pull her forward if you get my point .

when I say to her life yourself up she does it .

At day centre toilets are very big more space between hand rails and toilets .

then may be yes it could be a combination of the AZ progressing

So I wonder if she scared of being in they toilets alone trying to life herself up , or even with someone in they , because woman at social services Day center said she does give my mother paper to wipe herself .

As I said at home with me my mother ask for my help her wipe her bum , as she finding it hard now to wipe her own bum .


So all this aggregation she feeling could be , being scared or ****ed of that she having to take they help, so she not expressing herself saying she can't do it . they telling her yes she can .

so rather then ask for help . she does it in her pads .

God! thank - you Tina . Now how do I explain that to them .

 

[Margarita]

I am going to have to be honest with them

Sorry , but i can't give my mother those drugs .

I am going to have to call SW to do a meeting with both day centers and review my mother care plan .

because if both days center can not offer my mother they support with out controlling it with anti psychotic drugs .

she going to have to stop going and they have to up my care plan and bring in carers , couple days a week to sit with my mother at home . so I can get out.

 

[Grannie G]

Is it possible your mother has lost muscle tone Maggie, and that`s why she finds it difficult to get up, either off the toilet or off a chair.

 

[Margarita]

But wgat I can't understand is why you have to phone the manager. Unless your centre is different from ours, the manager is not a doctor, and only a doctor can prescribe medication.

its the same as yours


She wants to talk to me about the changes she seem in my mother , and the
benefit in me getting my mother on those drugs . she can advice me thats all.

Regarding the toilet, Tina may well have a point. Do you help your mum with toileting at home? Perhaps she's too embarrassed to ask anyone else -- or perhaps she's shy in front of her 'boyfriends'?

Yes I help her wipe her bum , but she still sits on Toilet . now then wets her pads a lot . but she won't stop using the toilet even with pads on, at home with me anyway

or perhaps she's shy in front of her 'boyfriends'?

yes now that does sound like my mother

Is it possible your mother has lost muscle tone Maggie,

does that happen ? she does not walk so much as she use to is that why ?

 

[Grannie G]

When people become more sedentary or less mobile they lose the strength in their muscles.

You may notice lots of older people who no longer live active lives have trouble getting out of chairs. If they have trouble with chairs, you can assume they have problems getting up off the toilet.

If muscles are not used, they lose their strength. Since we have lived in bungalows, I have terrible problems with stairs.