phone call from Social services day centre

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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Any news, Maggie? What did the doctor say?

Thanks for asking



I told him all that had been happening with my mother change in behavior , at the day centre and about how she is deluding herself that someone going to marry her , another woman wants to take her boyfriend away from her man. showing a lot of anger .

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could it be down to confusion of the dementia her emotions , or in the environment she in setting her temper of.

Showed him what I had printed out.


he said that they is loads of dementia, so in what the dementia does does to the brain , things like this do happen with people with dementia its part of the symptoms , its a shame that the day centers are saying this to you no one should question what your mother has when a diagnose has been done.


So I went on to say would a urine infection course her temper , he said that it can course more confusion .

So I gave him mum urine sample that mum done this morning and they sent it of for tests .

Her blood test where all Ok , just that her sugar level from the blood test are high .



( His looking at my mother note on computer )

so I ask could her sugar level being high Course her temper ?


So he look over to me , as if I had not been listening to what he had said before that its all down to the dementia .

so he said his going to to type out a letter to the psychogeriatrician to come out to see my mother . Then I say Good! and smile at him ( as I am thinking He believe me )

In the letter he says

Many thanks for seeing this lady .

She suffer from Alzheimer's diagnosed in 2003 in Gibraltar . She has been under the psychogeriatrician and has had a brain scan . She has treaded with Mermantine hydrochloride 20 mg since diagnosis . She now has outbursts of anger which are causing problem at the Day Center since she is verbally abusive .

He said give a photo cope of this letter to Day centre , if they have any more quarries tell them to ring me any time .

He did say that its strange that this medication could still be working for such a long time , he did not know about the medication .

So I presume the psychogeriatrician would know more about this type of medication .



Has anyone else love from seen a consultant psychogeriatrician, mum saw one back in Gibraltar that gave me Exbiza after the brain test came back .

I am also going to ask him / her if mum can have another brain scan to see if its progressing, if it is AZ or Not . See what he she says .

I feel so much better after seeing the doctor
 
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Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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Hi Maggie

I'm so glad you're feeling better.

And so you should, you've done well, and got everything you wanted from the GP. I hope you get your appointment with the psychogeriatrician quickly, and that he agrees that a scan is a good idea, given your mum's change in behaviour.

Psychogeriatrician is just a consultant in mental health for the elderly -- just a posh way of saying it! Ususlly they're the ones who prescribe AD medication, it's unusual to get it from the GP, as you do.

Love,
 

TinaT

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Sep 27, 2006
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Your tenacity is paying off for your mum in that you now have a consultation with the specialist. Hope all goes OK and that the consultant can offer you some help. I know you are very wary of some drugs (quite rightly so) but he may be able to prescribe something to help calm your mum a little without taking away her own unique personality. The constant care and love you show for your mum is always there in your posts. xx TinaT
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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it's unusual to get it from the GP, as you do.

Yes I thought that also. So did the memory nurse when she came around, our house to see mum in 06 she said I was lucky.

so as long as the PCT do pull the funding for it from my doctor practice mum be Ok getting it they .








It was when I arrived from Gibraltar in 05 with mum , I change my mother doctor to mine . I had enough medication for 2 mouth or so , till they got my mother records in London from her last doctor she had 3 years ago before she moved to Gibraltar

I had letter from the consultant in mental health for the elderly , from Gibraltar saying all about my mother being diagnosed with AZ in Gibraltar .

So it took 4 weeks for mum to change to my doctor , he saw the letter from Gibraltar and Just put Exbiza and all other of my mother medication on repeat perception , and sent mum to see someone at the hospital that must of been the consultant in mental health for the elderly , she said keep mum on the same medication they done a memory test on her that was in 05

then in 06 , they notice a change in my mother at day center so they said it was a urine infection , but then it was not , so doctor done a referral for memory nurse to come out to a memory test .

memory nurse said she had drop from a 12 to a 10 , they was no more they can do , and I was lucky they came out for the 2 nd time and lucky that doctor giving my mother the medication of Exbiza .

Then in 07 , they think mum has a urine infusion . done test to keep them happy no it was not a urine infusion . So I say to doctor can my mother come of this medication , he says no as it would be in human, she drop to much , lots of complication could set in his my Main doctor also a consultant neurologists at are local hospital .


Then Now in 08 day centre have notices a change in my mother they putting it down to urine infusion , or my mother does not have AZ

So this morning when my son phone I broke down in tears , saying I can't take it any more! I can't take them at day center . now they questioning me about Nanny AZ , they taking me back to the past in how Nanny was before medication just to prove to them that its the medication that keeping her together . Why can't they just believe me .

I want to move on from that time in my past , Its to painful to look back into that time without crying . Its like relieving it again, I can think about it with myself , type parts of it on hear. but can't talk to anyone about it without crashing into a heap of crying. My son undertands .

he got good shoulders to cry on .



so My son says get a letter from doctor they go home at the end of the day , but your left with all the feeling .

So I did ask doctor for letter. But the doctor did not feel he had to say anything to them in a letter about my mother AZ

so just told me to show them the letter of the referral he done for my mother Lets hope they stop it now

The constant care and love you show for your mum is always there in your posts.
Reply With Quote

dose it really ! :)
 
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Margarita

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I know you are very wary of some drugs (quite rightly so) but he may be able to prescribe something to help calm your mum a little without taking away her own unique personality.

yes I thought I would wait to see the person , then talk about medication .



My mother knows she has be on behavior at day center ( or she get done for anti social behavior only joking ). but the thing is , she says that she not going to lose her temper any more , but if she can't help herself, what happen then . so medication may be of help .

So am going to ask if she can have Velum.

Hazel doctor told me to ring them in a few days to make sure they made the appointment .
 
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Margarita

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Social worker phone to day asking how my mother got on with the doctor .

I told him what the doctor told me then , also that its a shame what the day centre are doing to my mother and its not for the staff to say what diagnose my mother has or has not got . I only was so up set with Social service day center staff , because of they staff saying my mother having a mental breakdown , may not have dementia or AZ

I read out the letter the doctor gave me , he said you can not do the referral yourself you know that ? . I told him nicely that the doctor only gave me the cope of the letter to give to day center .

( I really held back from telling him , he gave me the letter to shut them up )

he went on to ask if I could Fax him the letter , ask me what days mum go to day centre , what type of day centre she go to , as he said they are going to monitor the situation , I said Good !

He told me the name of the two people that are the psychogeriatrician and that they do brain scan , or brain images , review medication .

So I said that No more medication left my mother on the last medication , after this medication they not more .
Only Anti psychotic medication and I am not giving my mother Anti psychotic to control her behavior in day center she have to stay home with me, another brain scan , she was a bag of nerves the first time she had it done . her whole body was shaking from fear, if it got to be done , its got to be done .

Then I thought after we finish conversation on phone , Dame this is it , mum stating to fall of the cliff .

she got a nightmare temper , her temper coming back slowly :eek: I could not do it again , keep her home with me full time , her screams just do my head in . They did before she took Exbiza

Then I don't want her in care home with Anti psychotic medication to control it . Oh well . Think of the worse and hope for the best is all I can say .

shall take it easy not let my imagination run riot, as its not happen yet shall wait for the appointment from the psychogeriatrician go from they .

I must say today my mother talking to me so much , can't belive it, she bring up bit of my past.

so I listen , she then tell me that she does not like day center because all they do is ask you about the past :) lol . ..........sometimes she can't remember
 
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Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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shall take it easy not let my imagination run riot, as its not happen yet shall wait for the appointment from the psychogeriatrician go from they .

Maggie, that's exactly right. Try to relax, and hope you get that appointment soon.

It's good that the SW is showing an interest, and is monitoring the situation.

All you can do now is look after your mum, and wait and see. (Not easy, I know!).

Love,
 

Margarita

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Hazel I just had to one more thing :)

I phone AZ day center told them what Doctor told me , they told me how one worker is finding it hard to handel my mother as she really like him .


So I phone the National Help line of the Alzheimer's Society they so good , I ask them loads of thinks , also if they think it would be OK if I approach the worker at the AZ day center , who my mother got a fixation on . my mother harmless . Just his finding it hard to deal with it .

she said yes , told me what to say to him . They so good. I also said to her I am going to give the staff they Book I brought "Being an approch to life and dementia" then just get another one for me :).
 

Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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I phone AZ day center told them what Doctor told me , they told me how one worker is finding it hard to handel my mother as she really like him .

Maggie, that's a completely different story from the one you were told first. They told you they couldn't handle her because she was aggressive. It's a difficult one to handle, but surely they should have told you the whole story from the word go?

she said yes , told me what to say to him . They so good. me :).

That's great. Glad they were able to advise you.

Love,
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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Maggie, that's a completely different story from the one you were told first. They told you they couldn't handle her because she was aggressive.

Yes , but way was she aggressive I wanted to know so I said


I have just received a phone call from Social services day centre , asking if mum not taken her medication or needs an injection , what injection ? I said she does not take injections , what do you mean , she said that my mother
behavior changing , they never seen her like this before being very rude to people , she not physical aggressive just verbal aggressive

then I said in another post

I read when they are abusive verbally , its because they in pain or something upsetting them . They not abusive at the person , but something bothering them in they mind that they can't express in the normal way they use to .

she said my mother is having is deluding herself , showing symptoms of delusion with a staff member at the AZ day centre that why they don't want her they , as as at the social services day center she is join in with activity. where she does not at AZ day center

she said my mother is having is deluding herself , showing symptoms of delusion with a staff member at the AZ day centre that why they don't want her they , as as at the social services day center she is join in with activity. where she does not at AZ day center

and that is not down to her AZ , but a mental breakdown. she no doctor nor am I she tell me . so should go to doctor to find out why they been a change in my mother


This staff member is a Man !



So while the AZ day center staff where saying her temper has nothing to do with the dementia , I wanted to prove them wrong , I new the disease was progressing and mum was deluding herself about this worker , that she was going to marry him , when this worker would talk to anyone else she get the hump .

She was thinking about this worker so much that when she went to the SS day-center , the worker they notice my mother was very angry . So she said to my mother

"" talk to me like I am your mother what upsetting you ? "


My mother said " someone talking my boyfriend away from me that woman "

But when the SS day centre told me this she said my mother was having a mental breakdown, its not the dementia ,( it **** me of that they thought it was not down to her dementia )

So my mother has had a boil up of emotion and feeling , that confusing her and its coming out in Anger .


So this morning when I spoke to the manger of AZ day center told her that my doctor back me up its part of the disease fax her the letter . she said but still this man worker is finding it very uncountable , with my mother fixation on him .

(I have spoken to my mother over the weekend all about it , to get her out of this delusion she got on him )


So the AZ help line lady told me , that this does happen , he should know that as the disease progresses it go into another stage . So it go away but it take it time .

Then I phone the Admiral nurses and she said that the worker should no this as part of his training , like the AZ help line lady believes that at this stage they emotion feeling are very confused .

I would not drop it , till I got to the bottom of it , because no one going to give my mother drugs to surprise it , to control her . when all it take is a lot of coaching it out of her , I've done it this time , but as the disease advices it going to get harder .

The Admiral nurses said to me don't haste (sp ) to ring them any time for advice
 
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TinaT

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Sep 27, 2006
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Has the day care centre refused to let your mum go back? If not, I would send her there as normal and let them get on with caring for her. There is very little you (or anyone else) can do to change her behaviour. They will learn to cope with her new behaviour or they won't. Either way they should not have caused you so much upset by their suggestion that mum hasn't got az.

I had a problem with the day care centre and Ken's behaviour myself in May of last year. He started getting very agitated and they could not control his marching up and down, wringing his hands and getting upset. I kept getting phone calls from them asking me to collect him early as he was too distressed. They suggested that he needed to go into hospital to have his medication reviewed. The rest is TP history - I've given a blow by blow account for the last 7 months in various postings.

I would say Maggie just carry on as normal with your mum if you can and don't take to heart all that the Day Care staff have said. I bitterly regret taking the Day Care centre's advice given to me!!

xxTinaT
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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Has the day care centre refused to let your mum go back?


No because I gave them the letter from my doctor , but she was saying about her worker did not like it . I felt bad that why I thought I would talk to him , saying my mother showing harmless flirtation .

I did feel like taking mum away from going , but said she wanted to still go . She look at me for a while said what am I going to do in hear all day .

But I did warn her if she rude , she can't go any more .so she said she say . I say please and thank - you .

When they brought her back today . I ask how she got on they said she was very
polite .

I ask mum how she got on , she said Oh that man said hello to me (oh God hear we go ) its a different man now . The driver he never said hello or smile at her the other day , but as he did today she was happy .





He started getting very agitated and they could not control his marching up and down, wringing his hands and getting upset.

Did he not like going to day center in the first place ?
 

Margarita

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My mother history .


My mother still in stage that she can feel , small thing that simulate her , she small the small of soup , she love it, she feel the feeling of a gentle touch on her hand from me she smile , like she she feels the feeling of a man holding her arm , and she then go into a delusion that he going to romance her take her out .

just like my father did 55 years ago when he ask her " Do you want to me my Girlfriend , in those day its not sex before marriage .

( so she would never want any thing sexual from this worker , because she tell me Oh No I can not sleep with him , we have to get married )

So she see this man ( worker ) he take hold her arm to help her , in her mind she romancing the stone she in love with him , love bring up emostion feeling of jealous , resentment , fear that another woman taking to him , her self esteem low now , she feeling worthless in her mind this woman smiles at the worker , he smile back , so that mean that mean in my mother mind that this woman fancy him also so is going to take him away from her


well sorry in my perception that all coming out in anger because she can not express what she feeling or understand that she deluding herself , because of what the disease is doing to her brain .
 
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TinaT

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No Margarita, he didn't like going to day centre, although the staff were absolutely fantasticaly kind to him. Neither did he like being left with our care worker (also very kind) who came into our home three mornings each week. Neither did he like being with any member of the family unless I was also there. In other words I became a prisoner and hardly ever left his side. He hated(and still does) every minute he spends away from my side.

I think as you do, dementia takes personality traits which our loved ones have always had, and then distorts them into uncontrolable behaviour. It is these obsessions which cause such problems for everyone trying 24/7 to care for them. xxTinaT
 

Margarita

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I must say that before my mother took Exbiza , she would not except any help even from me , even when she was mistaking all room in house for bathroom , I would have to clean after her , while she said she never done it , it was the dog . Then one night she fall down in the bath room , she had slip on her Number 2 , she was also following me every where , when I had to to go out she would go into a screaming fit . if I left her with her sister she have an argument , she leave the house and get lost and the police found her.

After falling down went to doctor , after brain scan and given Exbiza she new where the bathroom was . when I brought her back to UK , she would till follow me , not even letting my daughter sit with her while I went out .

I bitterly regret taking the Day Care centre's advice given to me!!

I think you done the right thing for your husband Tina



May be if your husband was on a medication for his dementia it was just not working

Or if he was not on any he may of needed something .

So either way , it sounds like your husband needed a review in his mental health.

before my mother was given Exbiza I was nearly breaking down mental , because I could not handle my mother behavior , I could not get her on a airplane in the mental state she was in, I new I just had to get out of Gibraltar , but not in the mental state she was in , so I had to stick it out they I was working out they, and praying that this medication would help my mother so I could get her on a airplane . I ended staying they a year half , before I thought she was safe to fly .

During that year half I had to see my kids in UK , I left mum with a good friend of mine , when I got back she told me that mum would not take her medication Exbiza , mum was going back to square one . Not knowing where the toilet was , so my friend was cleaning up after her , getting lost in the street .

we finally left in 05 .

What I am saying every case is different
that if it was not for Exbiza . I would of never of been able to care for my mother like I am now . Now 6 years on I know what I am looking at and now its coming back , but not as hash it was when she 1st got it .

So I am now wondering when you bring your husband home , as I am sure I read in your thread your bring him home .

Is he going to be on any medication ?
 
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Grannie G

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Kent
I bitterly regret taking the Day Care centre's advice given to me!!

xxTinaT

Dear Tina,

You acted in good faith with the knowledge you had then. Please do not beat yourself up over taking poor advice. You didn`t know.

Love xx
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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Please do not beat yourself up over taking poor advice. You didn`t know.

Well said , I know its easy said then done , when we left alone with ourselves and the end of the night, because I keep beating myself up about my mother Exbiza .

I never new anything about Exbiza , no one said to me not a cure . no one told me it came back . I had to learn about it all by myself . and sure in 7 mouths you learn a lot about how to handle situation with your husband , that you would of new have know if he had not gone in for an assessment unit or what ever unit he went in .

I phone the admiral nurses yesterday she told me that I could get a CPN to monitor mum behavior in days center .

I ask her how do I get one ? as in the past I could not get one . she told me when I talk to the psychogeriatrician he can get me a CPN .

You must now have all the support , back up from specialist ( not just day centre saff ) that you may not have had if he never went in .

Like if I never brought my mother back from Gibraltar, had not got my mother into day centre out hear I would never of really know the reality of what was happening to my mother .


I thought that the Exbiza , was like a medication they give you for a normal mental illness . I never new it was progressive it kills .

They where going to organizes carer in Gibraltar , she went on a waiting list for a walk in shower unit for her ( I thought what she going to need that for anyway ) my mother would not have it , she would not let anyone help her.

They said to me that the only place that my mother could go to if I could not cope was a mental hospital, as care home was full waiting list could be years and I did not want to care for my mother without my kids around me . Doctor told me to take her back when she ready to fly .

so them saying mental hospital I thought it was a normal mental illness my mother has . I thought I would do it then , can't be that bad !

We both done the right think , even if we don't feel like we did . xxxx

PS I could never of stuck up for my mother like I did if I never had learn so much information I had learn from This site and the AZ Society .

I can't think to far ahead about mum as it does my head in ( medication ) , because I have learn that this is it ! no more medication is going to help, only those other type . ( I pray that it does not get that bad , but if it does it does ) so for now I just get the support from the specialist to help me cope .

sure just like your doing xx
 
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Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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Maggie, Tina's husband will be going to a care home when he leaves hospital, and his medication will be carefully monitored.

And knowing Tina, he will certainly not go short of love and attention.:)

Tina, when we're new to this game, we're ready to take the advice of anyone who claims to be an expert. Day centre staff have experience, and presumably some training, but they're no more expert than we are on TP.

You've always done the best for Ken, and he know that. Why do you think he clings to you like he does? You're the one sure thing in his life.:)

But we all need to remember that only the consultants are experts -- and even they are fallible!

Love,
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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london
Maggie, Tina's husband will be going to a care home when he leaves hospital, and his medication will be carefully monitored

That be good news. ( must of read it wrong in her thread )


Day centre staff have experience, and presumably some training, but they're no more expert than we are on TP.


and Admiral nurses , CPN , AZ society help-line in my opinion from my experience.

I think day center staff need more up to date training , well some of the staff do in my option , but then I may come arose to opinionated
 
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