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Phone call / conversation I was dreading.....


Registered User
Aug 10, 2015
North Essex
Am sitting here typing this & I feel as though my heart & head are splitting in two...

We've noticed for a while now that mums short term memory has worsened, she has refused to see a doctor, saying ' she is FINE'....

I speak to her every day, twice a day & spoke with her this evening bout 7pm, quite a nice chat, joking & ended with the usual ' love you' (me & mum never finish a call without saying it)

Hour n half later the phone rings.. Its mum asking if my dad is round mine. He died 3n half yrs ago,....

I tried deep to remember all the things from the compassionate communication link, but failed miserably, gently tried telling mum that he had died, she didn't deny it, in fact back tracked completely, saying she had just woken up & was confused ( she admitted that) then full of apologies as I started crying & that she must be going like her sister ( older has had Alzheimer's for 10 yrs) & will see the doctor....

I put the phone down, sobbing like a baby cos I know this is the start of the rapid decline.....& frankly I was having a real ' why us' moment.

Spoke with my brother who then also called mum, he is a nurse & she does tend to listen to him, he said it could be a UTI, chest infection, she had a severe UTI a month ago & I have noticed she hardly drinks.

So, will see what tomorrow brings, going to take the morning off work & pop round, maybe, just maybe she will remember & want to see the doctor....??

Thank you for reading, not expecting miracles, just nice knowing people understand

Sas xx


Registered User
Mar 11, 2014
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It must be so worrying when your aunt is already suffering from AD. Perhaps if you mum can be persuaded to see a doctor you could go with her and mention the memory problem she has, it might not be AD but something else that can be treated. Hoping all goes well for you x


Registered User
Sep 17, 2010
Like being run over by a steam-roller, isn't it? Poor you. Poor Mum.

Maybe the down turn is just a UTI or the confusion caused by dehydration ...

Your Mum has said she'll go to the GP. The approach that tended to work with my Mum is to assume the decision once made will - of course! - be followed through and couch all subsequent nags as reminders one by one of the next small step your Mum needs to take to organise her appointment.

Talking to the GP about your own concerns over your Mum - concerns he / she should treat as confidential between you - is often helpful. A patient who can't remember the problems they're experiencing (or who doesn't want to admit them) can't provide the GP with the information they need to support that patient ....


Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
I'm so sorry, you must be feeling so upset.
My mum used to say very similar things when she had just woken up. It was much more obvious in the mid-afternoon and she would come out with all sorts of bizarre or very old information. Sometimes it was easy to settle her again with a follow up conversation on whatever she was talking about and other times the settling was more difficult.
She lived independently until she died and although she did deteriorate her determination nd core strength made up for the all those memory blips

Take care, thinking of you x