Personal Washing

[MRose]

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE help me! I can not get my mother-in-law to have a bath or shower, she keeps putting it off and gets very angry if we pursue it! We have tried to say that SHE said she wanted a shower, that it was her idea, but she just will not have one. No disrespect, but she is making my house, furniture and car smell, and I just do not know what to do. She has not been diagnosed yet because of poor surgery doctors who think because she can do things like maths she is ok, but they do not want to know that she will repeat the same question 50+ times in a row or that she tells people that her husband and I are her grandsons (I am female by the way ). We are now waiting for a referral to a memory clinic.

Please advice x

PS Her husband is unable to help as he is in hospital waiting for a double bypass

 

[jeany123]

Hello and welcome to Talking Point MRose this is quite a common problem there has been a recent thread on this you might like to read,

Sorry to read about your husband I hope he recovers quickly xx
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?73902-hygiene-issues


there is also a fact sheet on here about bathing,
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=155

 

[Sue J]

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?73902-hygiene-

Hi MRose
Welcome to TP.

If you click above link it is a current thread re. hygiene issues and as Nicoise says ther are lots of other threads in the past which you can search for to read others' experiences.

Hope it helps
Best wishes
Sue

Jeany you beat me to it!!

 

[Beate]

Read this, it might help:


http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2011/06/alzheimers-and-dreaded-shower.html

http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2014/04/5-tips-how-to-get-alzheimers-patient-to.html

 

[CollegeGirl]

Welcome to Talking Point, MRose, although I'm sorry you are facing this difficulty which I'm afraid is all too common with dementia, as you will see when you read all the links to other threads!

It's a problem that my dad faced with my mam - she refused to have a bath or a shower for several months, and she was smelly and making their house smelly too. To cut a very long story short, dad eventually accepted that he needed outside help, and arranged for carers to come in to bathe mam.

She was very resistant, and aggressive, at first - well, for a long time - and he had to try several different permutations of carers, times and frequency, which at the time was very stressful and upsetting, but thankfully now, mam has two carers come twice a week, on an evening, and they - now - always manage to get her into the shower and to have her hair washed.

Twice a week isn't the same as the morning shower and evening bath that she used to have every day prior to Alzheimer's, but she is no longer smelly and neither is the house, and she looks (and surely feels) much better.

Twice a week is sufficient, and if dad manages extra during the week, that's a bonus, but he doesn't push it, and contents himself with the odd strip wash if she will permit it.

Have you thought of getting carers in at all? Is it something that you would consider? Would your mother in law consent to a daily strip wash? It's not strictly necessary - although obviously ideal - to have a bath or a shower. She may be afraid of the water. I believe you can also get body wipes which you can heat in the microwave, which might work, and when mam was in the earlier stages, when she would have a bath but refused to wash her hair, I have used that no-rinse shampoo you can get which works quite well and takes away the fear of having water poured over the head, which can be quite daunting.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

[Jackie02]

From looking at some of these posts it would seem my mum is not the only person who will not wash. When my sister and I have tried we always get told she will do it later but we know this will not happen. She spends all her time in a nightie and we struggle to even get her to get dressed .. Very rarely. We have tried telling her that she is a little on the smelly side ... She just replied .. Well you don't have to stay here .. Go home. Any help would be much appreciated as to how to tackle the issue and not end up in an argument.


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[_Han_]

My grandad is fixated on the cost of water. He has a water meter. Through the summer he grows beans in the garden, and uses next doors water and hose pipe to fill up his water butts. They completely understand, and they're great neighbours. Now I'm finding he doesn't shower very often and we've just spoken amongst ourselves about telling him that the water bills are changing and that it doesn't matter how much water he's using, that the price will be the same. We've also told him in the past that if he's not keeping himself clean that he'll have to have someone come in to do it for him. Which has worked in the past.


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