This sounds like a rant or a bitter post but it isn't, I just hope that people can change their perceptions of Dementia. It is a reflection of my thoughts and in putting pen to paper or in this case clicks on the keyboard I find some healing in dealing with the maze of Dementia.
The purpose of this post is to hope that society in general become more accepting and give dignity to people with Dementia. On the forums most people here do realise how hard Dementia can be. Perhaps I am too sensitive, maybe I take too much to heart what people say, but I feel that since my Dad moved into a Nursing Home he has become as I perceive from other people, family and his friends, a second-class citizen, sort of written off from society. I have noticed he doesn’t get Birthday cards or Christmas cards like he used too, one person said I didn’t think he would know if it was Christmas or not! Maybe that might be right but there are lucid moments. I feel like I am the only one that bothers about my Dad, everyone one says ‘oh it is so sad’, and ‘it’s such a shame’ but people say the words but I feel they are saying it because they feel they ought too. I understand everyone has busy lives, but it is like Dad has ceased to exist. People offer ' How’s your Dad?' but you can tell they expect a’ he's fine’ response. Dad is far from fine! I know and agree that he is in the best place to cater for his needs but what hurts is that no one really seems to care. I feel the nursing home and myself has more empathy with Dad than anyone else. People just say the words but have not a clue what Dad is going through, I feel they think he has been put in a home and that’s end of story and all the family and so-called friends get on with their lives and couldn’t give a damn about my Dad. I feel like he has been written off and now just ‘waiting for God’ It is like he is a second class citizen and all the family and friends never thinks it can happen to them. You get 'well least he/she have their marbles' My Dad is far from perfect but he still a human being and I had expected some level of dignity to be shown to him. You should never judge people until you have walked in their shoes. Yes, I want Dad back home, yes, I was him to be less confused and not suffering from this cruel dementia and be accepted back into what society feels is ‘normal’ I wish I had more control over my and Dad’s situation with how he and I deal with this new ‘normal’ we find ourselves in. I know he can never come home I know he can’t care for himself even with my help, I know he can’t do simple tasks. I used to look after him, but it is now sadly beyond me. Perhaps people don’t know how to interact with Dad now and feel uncomfortable, and to be honest I can understand that but my heart breaks sometimes when I seem the only one to visit or care what happens to my Dad. Perhaps I too didn’t have they greatest understanding but since Mum and now Dad have had dementia I sincerely hope people attitudes soften towards people suffering from this cruel disease. I just wondered if anyone else felt the same or experienced the same?
Everyone’s Dementia journey is unique to them.
The purpose of this post is to hope that society in general become more accepting and give dignity to people with Dementia. On the forums most people here do realise how hard Dementia can be. Perhaps I am too sensitive, maybe I take too much to heart what people say, but I feel that since my Dad moved into a Nursing Home he has become as I perceive from other people, family and his friends, a second-class citizen, sort of written off from society. I have noticed he doesn’t get Birthday cards or Christmas cards like he used too, one person said I didn’t think he would know if it was Christmas or not! Maybe that might be right but there are lucid moments. I feel like I am the only one that bothers about my Dad, everyone one says ‘oh it is so sad’, and ‘it’s such a shame’ but people say the words but I feel they are saying it because they feel they ought too. I understand everyone has busy lives, but it is like Dad has ceased to exist. People offer ' How’s your Dad?' but you can tell they expect a’ he's fine’ response. Dad is far from fine! I know and agree that he is in the best place to cater for his needs but what hurts is that no one really seems to care. I feel the nursing home and myself has more empathy with Dad than anyone else. People just say the words but have not a clue what Dad is going through, I feel they think he has been put in a home and that’s end of story and all the family and so-called friends get on with their lives and couldn’t give a damn about my Dad. I feel like he has been written off and now just ‘waiting for God’ It is like he is a second class citizen and all the family and friends never thinks it can happen to them. You get 'well least he/she have their marbles' My Dad is far from perfect but he still a human being and I had expected some level of dignity to be shown to him. You should never judge people until you have walked in their shoes. Yes, I want Dad back home, yes, I was him to be less confused and not suffering from this cruel dementia and be accepted back into what society feels is ‘normal’ I wish I had more control over my and Dad’s situation with how he and I deal with this new ‘normal’ we find ourselves in. I know he can never come home I know he can’t care for himself even with my help, I know he can’t do simple tasks. I used to look after him, but it is now sadly beyond me. Perhaps people don’t know how to interact with Dad now and feel uncomfortable, and to be honest I can understand that but my heart breaks sometimes when I seem the only one to visit or care what happens to my Dad. Perhaps I too didn’t have they greatest understanding but since Mum and now Dad have had dementia I sincerely hope people attitudes soften towards people suffering from this cruel disease. I just wondered if anyone else felt the same or experienced the same?
Everyone’s Dementia journey is unique to them.