Personal hygiene

Farmer jane

New member
May 6, 2019
8
0
Hope someone can advise, I am currently shielding due to coronavirus so cannot leave home, my brother has had to take over getting my mum up and administering meds as carers have been withdrawn due to shortage and as she has family nearby, they have to do it. His problem is apart from our ongoing problem of not getting up, she now refuses to wash or change her clothes, she would be classed still as in early stages still of dementia but also suffers from depression. Currently hes finding it really difficult as not comfortable in these situation and would be very into his personal grooming etc., in the past it was carers got her washed etc. Am getting phone calls all the time but feel powerless as nothing I can do. I know there's alot more important issues people are having to deal with but any advice would be appreciated.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hi @Farmer jane
tricky for you when you need to stay at home yourself ... I hope you are fine

might you suggest to your brother ... cleanliness has its place, but not at the cost of creating tension and stress for them both ... in fact, nagging/insistence is often counter productive, just fixing a negative emotion in mind
maybe he can try the old routine of 'the bathroom is lovely and warm, and the new bath salts! and soap smell divine, how about a bit of a soak before tea and cake for supper' or something similar your mum might respond to
or just accept a good flannel wash ... having everthing ready and within easy reach so she doesn't have to look for anything ... washing under a dressing gown or warm towel for modesty
and if your mum resists, back down, try again later, then even later, as if it's thd first time ... or give her a choice that still geys what is wanted eg, wash or bath, shower or flannels, smelly soap or shower gel, bathroom or bedroom (I got very used to quickly getting washing up bowl of warm water into dad's bedroom, where I had flannels and towels and soaps/gels all ready in one drawer

with the clothes ... if she takes them off at night, whisk them away having got ready, on the quiet, clean everything for next day to leave in a pile with everything in order of how she puts on her clothes so she doesn't have to think of what goes on first
maybe have some nice warm pjs or a nightie ready at bedtime so she's more likely to change
if she doesn't, then wearing something 2 or 3 days isn't the end of the world, and there may come a moment when she spills something! or wants to change, whenever that is, go with it then