Hygiene
Dear all
Well, what a nice conversation but an essential one.
I just wonder if we are all a bit too neurotic about hygiene/cleanliness these days. Although I'm only 55, my home for the first 5 years of my life had no running water, no toilet, no bath. The outside loo was shared with 8 other families and someone's cat was always having kittens in it. We used a Po under the bed at night, and there was nowhere to wash your hands. We obviously didn't have a bathroom and the only washing place was at the kitchen sink or the tin bath on Sunday night (we all used the same water!).
When mum and dad moved into a two-up, two-down, with a bathroom, they still continued to wash at the kitchen sink and only have a bath once a fortnight. I dread to say it on an internet site (but we are being honest!), but I don't always bother washing my hands when I have been to the loo (depends what I am doing!), my husband eats out of date food (much to my disgust), and we have three cats. I can honestly say neither my husband or I, or our two kids, have ever had a bout of diarrheoa (spelt wrongly I am sure), or sickness or even stomach ache as a result of our lack of hygiene. My next door neighbour is meticulously clean and her daughter is allergic to all sorts, and they always have stomach upsets.
I suppose you need to look at a person's previous habits, and if they were previously very clean and hygienic and aren't any more, then probably some encouragement is needed. Instead of soap, how about a dispenser of handwash, especially if it says "anti-bacterial" on it.
Obviously, you don't want your relative smelling unpleasantly, but much depends on their physical condition. My mum is totally continent and I am surprised to learn she only changes her knickers every three days, but I have never noticed a smell, so why worry? She has also never used underarm deodorant in her life, but clearly isn't a sweaty person (unlike me, couldn't be without it!), cos she has no body odour. She does have "a good wash" every day, meaning the top half only.
My mother in law, who died 3 years ago, did have a problem in that she sat in the same chair for 18 hours a day, and wore no knickers cos it was easier to go to the loo at short notice if she didn't have any on. I also learnt that having been to the loo (for a wee), she didn't even bother drying herself off, so the result was that the chair started to smell. BUT, she lived in her own home almost to the end (aged 90), and had tons of visitors and friends, and they just put up with the smell. So what would have been worse? Making an issue of it, or just forgetting it? We did the latter (with a quick spring clean whenever she went into hospital).
Everyone is different. As I have said, I am a sweaty person, so all my underwear is changed daily (and tights/socks twice a day), but some people are not. I've also noticed that the staff in the hospital where my mum is currently put anything into the washing bag that is remotely slightly stained, so I take it home, give it a quick sponge down, and take it back. My mum has a favourite pair of trousers with bleach stains on the bottom (my Mum is big on bleach), she doesn't care about the bleach stains (never has, even pre-Alzheimers), but the staff do. I am going to get a grey felt-tip pen and colour them in! Well, they ARE clean!
Hey, the wipes are a great idea. I broke my wrist last year and couldn't do the usual movements to wash my hands, so the baby wipes were perfect.
Anyway, hope you all find solutions, but don't get too hung up on perfection.
Much love
Margaret