people's bad attitudes

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by zed, Jan 17, 2006.

  1. zed

    zed Registered User

    Jul 25, 2005
    My mother is 58 and has dementia. Because of this she is entitled to a Freedom Pass which is a travel card that allows her to travel on all trains, tubes and buses in London for free. When my aunt took her to the social services department to get it, the woman there said "why does she need to travel around on public transport if she has dementia" Does she mean if she has dementia she should stay at home all day? Or be driven around by other people? Mum is, at the moment, capable of taking a familiar bus to familiar places, which is great. I can't believe that someone who works for social services would have so little empathy!

    Mum has also been mugged twice in the last 6 months, and her freedom pass was stolen with the bag both times. I told the social services department that she had been mugged and that's why she needed a new one, and yet they still had a go at her for "losing" her freedom pass.

  2. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Zed,

    You both have my sympathies! Sounds like your mother actually got mugged 3 times - twice on the street and once at the SS.

    Perhaps your Mum could place her card in her coat pocket instead of inside her handbag in future? [That's if she is still well enough to remember to do so.] Also a card with her name and address will be handy for her if she has a memory lapse when out and about. This worked really well for my parents in the early days and on a couple of occasions some kind people brought them home.

    Best wishes,

  3. Bets

    Bets Registered User

    Aug 11, 2005
    South-East London, UK
    When I attended a carers' group three years ago, they advised not having anything with the person's address on, in case they got lost, had an accident, etc., and some unscrupulous person took their keys. Instead, I make sure my husband always carries on him a note of my home and mobile numbers and our son's, so we can be contacted in an emergency. Just a thought.

  4. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    We put mum's first name and our home telephone number on an Identity Bracelet which she used to wear at all times. Mind you, one day when we picked her up from a police station they said "She hasn't got any ID on her." Why had we bothered?
  5. McK

    McK Registered User

    Sep 13, 2005
    Pgh. Pa. USA
    Safe Return

    Jude - I don't know if the UK Alzheimer's Assoc. has a "Safe Return" program. It's available here in the US, without charge, and provides an idenity bracelet or necklace,clothing labels and wallet cards to identify the memory-impaired individual. Registration is in a national database with a 24-hour toll-free 8oo number to contact when an individual is lost or found. Access to the National Crime Information Computer, a national network of 17,000 local law enforcement agencies to help find the missing individual, and a nationwide network 0f 220 community-based Alzheimer's Association chapters provide assistance and support to families and caregivers. Best Wishs, McK
  6. Some people are just ignorant!

    I had a BIG argument on another forum re: Disabled badge holders... one pster commented about how someone "Looked perfectly all right and could walk without problems"

    Of course, I came in with a load of comments from a Mental Health angle... and I asked:

    "How exactly should they look to fit your stereotype? Crutches? Wheelchair? Iron Lung?"

    You can imagine the response.

    And the DSS had a go at your mother eh?

    Hmm... interesting...

    Tom Kitwood (the chap who's written loads of books on Dementia) mentions about 'infantalising' which is something one individual should NEVER do to another...

    Let me know the next time you speak to 'em and I'll give you a link to show them up for doing just that!


  7. zed

    zed Registered User

    Jul 25, 2005
    I'm familiar with Tom Kitwood's work Nat (as well as being a carer I work with people with dementia and their carers) if only people like that women Mum encountered where familiar with it!

    I agree with not having your home address in your bag. When Mum was mugged both times we changed the locks, as it was very likely Mum had a letter with her address on. She keeps putting letters in her handbag. Instead I have put clearly at the front of her address book (that she always carries) her emergency contact numbers. I also put a card from the Pick's Disease Support Group which says something like "this person has a brain disease".

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