1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. Sooty2

    Sooty2 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    30
    My 85 year old MIL moved to be closer to her son and myself as she had accused his sister of stealing her money and would have nothing to do with her. After a lot of stress she moved and now lives round the corner from us. We are now the target of her attacks constantly finding notes around the house of how we have stolen her money, dishwasher, washing machine etc and to be fair sometimes I wish we had left her where she was. We have care in 4 times a week for 3 hours a day, both me and my husband go and shes has no recollection of the notes she writes and is nice as pie to our faces. She has since made amends with his sister, she has no recollection of the accusations she made against her and sister has decided that she is going to pick her up and take her back to Norfolk for a holiday, "to show her her old haunts and pep her up a bit". I think that this will be the worse thing she could do, her memory has deteriorated to such a point that I feel it may tip her over the edge. Any advice anyone?
     
  2. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    I don't think it's yours to call, Sooty. If the daughter wants to do it, the daughter has every right to do it. You may find it gives you a well-earned break and if it goes well that kind of respite will be welcome from time to time. If it were me, I'd encourage it!
     
  3. Sooty2

    Sooty2 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    30
    I think my worry is she would take her upset her greatly and then dump her back and let us take the fall out, because ultimately all she goes on about now is moving back to Norfolk, her son has power of attorney and I feel is also entitled to a say.
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,902
    Female
    Scotland
    Ditto with redlou. She is going to be a handful wherever she is so spread the pain around whoever is willing to help.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,788
    Female
    South coast
    She is at the stage of accusing those that are nearest her of stealing - thats why you started getting it once she moved. I suspect that all the while she is at her daughters they will become the baddies who are stealing from her and she will want to come back to her home, and then when she is back it will be your turn again!
    Wherever she is there will be problems (at least, in her mind there is :rolleyes:), so you might as well enjoy the break.
     

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