Paying for carers

[Quantock]

hello, my FIL has mixed dementia, still lives at home with MIL but the time has come to get some care in to help MIL. His/her care needs will not be assessed until the New Year. She's at breaking point now! If my husband and I pay for a private carer company to give her help in the interim would this effect the assessment in the new year and any necessary help obtained from them?

Many thanks

 

[Slugsta]

Hi and welcome to TP. I am glad you have found us - but sorry you have need of us.

I cannot see any reason why you paying for temporary help for your FIL should cause problems - although you should make it clear that this is a temporary measure.

I'm sure someone else will be long with further advice/information soon.

 

[Beate]

No it won't affect it but it shouldn't be necessary. If your Mum suffers carers breakdown, she shouldn't have to wait another month. Call them again to express this is an emergency.

 

[Tin]

No, temporary payment by you is fine. I agree with Beate, you should get on to social services, its far too long to wait for an assessment.

 

[Quantock]

Hi and welcome to TP. I am glad you have found us - but sorry you have need of us.

I cannot see any reason why you paying for temporary help for your FIL should cause problems - although you should make it clear that this is a temporary measure.

I'm sure someone else will be long with further advice/information soon.

Hi and welcome to TP. I am glad you have found us - but sorry you have need of us.

I cannot see any reason why you paying for temporary help for your FIL should cause problems - although you should make it clear that this is a temporary measure.

I'm sure someone else will be long with further advice/information soon.

Thank you slugsta. I really appreciate your response. FIL has deteriorated over a short period of time and it's so very sad. MIL is doing an incredible job but has realised her limits.

 

[Quantock]

No, temporary payment by you is fine. I agree with Beate, you should get on to social services, its far too long to wait for an assessment.

Thanks Tin can hubby or I ring them or does it have to be MIL that rings?

 

[Quantock]

No it won't affect it but it shouldn't be necessary. If your Mum suffers carers breakdown, she shouldn't have to wait another month. Call them again to express this is an emergency.

Thanks for your reply Beate.

 

[Tin]

Thanks Tin can hubby or I ring them or does it have to be MIL that rings?

I am not sure if it matters who makes the call to chase them, but if mil can you be there when she does this, just to make sure that she pushes her point and desperate need for help.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Quantock
welcome from me too
I agree; get in contact
do phone, but also ask for a name, if possible, and an e-mail and/or actual address - then immediately follow up with a note outlining what was said in the phone call - it helps to have a 'paper' trail to refer back to
maybe even ask for the details of the senior/manager Social Worker as a signal that you are more than prepared to take this further
if you honestly believe that your mum is near carer breakdown say so clearly as the 'duty of care' for your FIL lies with the LA, not your MIL, and you may want to push for some emergency respite
if your FIL has savings/assets (NOT including the marital home; that is disregarded in any financial assessment) over £23250 he will have to self-fund his care fees - so arranging home care visits yourself will have no real impact - your MIL's savings and income are not taken into account and only 50% of any monies held in their joint names
the Local Authority Adult Services should suggest a care package to include home care visits; also ask for some time at a day care centre (often this has to be through a referral rather than arranged privately), hours for a sitter, some respite time and for an Occupational therapist to come to their house to see if some aids/adaptions will help, possibly a telecare system too
if your FIL doesn't have that level of savings, the LA will at least part fund his care - make sure that your MIL's own finances are not used, she needs to look to her own future financial situation
if you haven't already, do look into Power of Attorney for each of them, so you have the legal authority to support them

 

[Quantock]

hi @Quantock
welcome from me too
I agree; get in contact
do phone, but also ask for a name, if possible, and an e-mail and/or actual address - then immediately follow up with a note outlining what was said in the phone call - it helps to have a 'paper' trail to refer back to
maybe even ask for the details of the senior/manager Social Worker as a signal that you are more than prepared to take this further
if you honestly believe that your mum is near carer breakdown say so clearly as the 'duty of care' for your FIL lies with the LA, not your MIL, and you may want to push for some emergency respite
if your FIL has savings/assets (NOT including the marital home; that is disregarded in any financial assessment) over £23250 he will have to self-fund his care fees - so arranging home care visits yourself will have no real impact - your MIL's savings and income are not taken into account and only 50% of any monies held in their joint names
the Local Authority Adult Services should suggest a care package to include home care visits; also ask for some time at a day care centre (often this has to be through a referral rather than arranged privately), hours for a sitter, some respite time and for an Occupational therapist to come to their house to see if some aids/adaptions will help, possibly a telecare system too
if your FIL doesn't have that level of savings, the LA will at least part fund his care - make sure that your MIL's own finances are not used, she needs to look to her own future financial situation
if you haven't already, do look into Power of Attorney for each of them, so you have the legal authority to support them

Hi shedrech, this is amazingly helpful like all the responses, so thank you. My hubby has deputy POA for his dad and hopefully tonight he will be broaching the subject of getting his mum to do one too. Thank you again.

 

[ndeossa]

Shedrech, this is a great advice. I can pick your brain a bit more?

I am new to the forum and also to the UK. My MIL has Alzheimer's and my husband and I have come from the US to look after her, hopefully to make some decisions by January 2018. Could I ask you a few more questions?

 

[Beate]

Just ask, we're all here to help.

 

[ndeossa]

Beate, I see that you post a quiet a bit, so glad there are so many knowledge people here. I should start a new thread relating to financial support? Right?

 

[Beate]

You can but you don't have to. Wherever you post, people will find it.

 

[Izzy]

Beate, I see that you post a quiet a bit, so glad there are so many knowledge people here. I should start a new thread relating to financial support? Right?

@ndeossa
Just as Beate says - you don't have to start your own thread. Just ask here if you like.

 

[Quantock]

I thought I would post an update. I rang adult social care in the end and in a nutshell....

FIL now has two days at a day centre and loves it.
Carers starting 4th Jan 7 days a week for 45 mins
Handrails galore being fitted
FIL has a walking stick
New commode has been delivered
Physio referral
Financial assessment on 27th Dec

Thank you so much for your invaluable advice. Will keep you updated with any more news and questions as they arise. X

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Quantock
thanks for writing your update
it's always heartening to have good news
so glad your FIL loves the day centre - that's a double present, for him and his family
bit early but
Happy New Year