Partner!!!

Fsm

New member
Sep 13, 2019
1
0
My partner has of late been saying that there is someone else driving my car and going to my work and doing all the things I am doing every day and he tells me all this when I come in from work. He is positive that I with this other person is trying to make out he is losing his mind. When asked about this other person he says they as very similar to me. Partner was diagnosed with vascular /temporal dementia middle of last year. What do I do when he starts to get very angry with me.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,568
0
N Ireland
My partner has of late been saying that there is someone else driving my car and going to my work and doing all the things I am doing every day and he tells me all this when I come in from work. He is positive that I with this other person is trying to make out he is losing his mind. When asked about this other person he says they as very similar to me. Partner was diagnosed with vascular /temporal dementia middle of last year. What do I do when he starts to get very angry with me.
Hello you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.
Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,049
0
South coast
I wouldnt argue with him or try logic and reasoning as he is sure that what he says is true and (as you have discovered) will become very angry. One of the techniques to use when people with dementia become upset when you tell the truth is to use what is known on here as "love lies" (it is also known in other places as "therapeutic untruths" if this concept is easier for you). Your goal is to tell them something that will prevent them from becoming upset if they do not believe the truth. So, you could say that you are doing a "car share" with another lady, or that a friend of yours had borrowed it for the day. I felt terrible the first time I had to use "love lies", but it comes all too easily now :rolleyes: