Partner has Dementia

[Carol 58]

Hi All my civil partner of 38 years was diagnosed with Dementia in 2017 .
She has been for the last few weeks asking to go back to where she used to live .Saying I'm not staying here .I want to go where my kids are .which they all live in the same village has we do .
No matter how I try to explain she Dosnt want to know this can go on for hours .
Has anyone else experiencing this would be grateful for any help suggestions .Thanks .

 

[nae sporran]

Hullo and welcome to DTP @Carol 58.
Sadly that is common with dementia. The consensus is that it is not a physical place your partner is looking for, so much as feeling of calm and safety she won't have had since before dementia. My partner comes and goes with not knowing if her mum is still alive or wants to go back to Germany. She left there nearly 60 years ago and her mum died 30 years ago. Gentle reassurance, little love lies that you will go back there next year when the Covid outbreak is over, usually help until the feeling passes.
I hope that helps and wish you luck.

 

[Carol 58]

Thank you we have lived in same place for 40+ years just moved property's a few times .when I ask her where she wants to go back to she cannot tell me .will try and just say will go back next week see if that helps .I also had the same about her mam who died 16 years wanting to go to see her she couldn't remember she had died asked if she had gone to funeral .This is not happening so often now .
Such a horrible disease .

 

[Francisco]

Sounds familiar to me @Carol 58... My partner of 45+ years now often talks agitatedly about moving back to her childhood area - doubly challenging for me because she also often doesn't believe we are married. I have taken her back there every month for a few days for the past 4 months, visiting her childhood haunts and seeing her sisters. We returned home today from a visit but within an hour she was talking of relocating there, having forgotten that we've just completed a 4-hour journey home and that she had enjoyed the visit. I calmed her by pointing out that daily rain is forecasted for the next 12 days and suggesting that we visit again when there is a good spell of weather expected. The calm lasted for an hour before she adamantly insisted she was going to move, saying that there was nothing keeping her here. She has no notion of the impracticality of relocating