Partner going into long term care

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by moonlightmaggie, Aug 29, 2015.

  1. moonlightmaggie

    moonlightmaggie Registered User

    Aug 12, 2015
    5
    My partner of 16 years was diagnosed officially with Lewy Body Dementai with parkinsons in January,had Myloma for 16years ..even though we knew there were issues long before this but being 73yrs old was told his memory "age related".Anyway things were ticking along but three weeks ago he got an unknown infection and withing 3 weeks he is in long term hospital care with view to never coming home....not only am I losing my partner I have lost the benefits as everything ahs been suspended..this obviuously includes my carers allowance and income support...his Dla has been suspended...

    at a total loss.

    what it has highlighted is the how the carers who save the government £££££ by caring for their loved ones at home get forgotten at the drop of a hat..

    the advise from job centre when I asked advise was basically get a job...there doesn't seem to be any emotional support..16 years I have cared for him he has Myloma as well..

    feeling stranded

    on top of this is have found paperwork and debt of £1400 4 diff companies payday laons...don't ask me where the money is I don't know yet..

    moan over
     
  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    You have every right to moan, Moonlightmaggie. When my hubby was helped into full time care, we had absolutely no savings; the pension and other benefits that we were using to run our household all went. We were reduced to penury for a while until everything was sorted out.

    The care bills were the worst nightmare as I got sent three of them at once, adding up to just under £1,000! There is mercy at the hands of the LA who assess for care charges. They accepted my initial payment of the biggest bill for just over £600 and gave me a month's grace to pay the other two bills, which hopefully should be done this coming week.

    I had to fight to keep the roof over my head, as I live in rented property. Help was offered, and given to claim for rent and council tax support. I was advised to make a couple of benefit claims by the assessor who set up the care charges. They have gone through. It sounds as if you need to get someone on your side to help you through the mire of the next few weeks; especially with form-filling if you have any to do.

    Pop into your local council offices and enquire if they have a benefits advisor. I was sent help from my housing association. A lady came to visit me at home and helped set up my support. Went through the forms with me as I was too overwhelmed to cope with it all at that time. If you get an advisor to speak to, they are usually very good. They should be able to direct you to the correct benefits for your situation.
     
  3. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    Can't add much to Chuggalug's excellent advice except to suggest that the debts should not be your prime concern. If your partner took out loans when he did not have capacity, the contract could be invalid anyway, and they are not your debts in any circumstances. CAB usually are excellent at helping you with letters to creditors etc. and keeping the more unpleasant tactics of some debt collectors off your back in the meantime.

    They also have benefits advisers who can help make sure you get everything you are entitled to.
     
  4. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Blush! Wow! Don't know about excellent, Pickles, but I hope it was of some help. Thanks for you kindness :)
     
  5. Feline

    Feline Registered User

    Oct 25, 2012
    164
    East Devon
    Hi
    I can't add more advice but I totally sympathise because we are saving the government thousands of pounds,there is little thought given to carers when there caring ceases for whatever reason.
     
  6. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,474
    London
    Hi Feline how I agree with you there is no support when you stop being a carer I have had to claim JSA for the first time luckily I have managed to find a job starting this week but it has been a tough time financialy which is the last thing you need at an emotional time try and see if there is a benefits advisor you can get advice from. Good luck xx
     
  7. Feline

    Feline Registered User

    Oct 25, 2012
    164
    East Devon
    Hi nannylondon,
    I am so glad you have managed to find work.My post was meaning all carers, not myself. I am still caring 24/7, taking my OH to day care 3 days a week, so getting some time to do things. I think about others and all their dilemma's and also wonder how my own situation will unfold in the future. I hope things start looking up for you and all present and past carers.
     
  8. moonlightmaggie

    moonlightmaggie Registered User

    Aug 12, 2015
    5
    Thanks for support...it just feels abit......lonely for want of better word..appreciate your support
     

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