paranoia reigns and we all get wet

[Rainbow]

Dad's 82 - vascular dementia diagnosed 2004 - very mild so far (I think)
Mum (75) looks after him. He doesn't know he has dementia - and would be in complete denial if told - and absolutely scared stiff.
Problem is mum's concerns (and the effect on her health) are worrying.
His paranoia is stepping up and no matter how much reassurance is given, it's mum, at the end of the day, who is left alone with him and his relentless bad mindedness and endless 'what if' senarios.
My brother thinks his condition ought to be explained gently to him and to broach the subject of EPA - mum's frightened that this would fuel his paranoia to going off the scale and life would be unbareable on a day to day basis - i.e. we're all plotting against him.

I have spoken briefly with his GP, but realise that time is so restricted.
I have also arranged a meet up with the local Alz Soc next week - fel such a novice to all of this.

Is paranoia an issue to others? is it so subjective that really no one can offer
positive advice?

 

[dmc]

hi rainbow

my mums paranoia, changes from one week to the next, it ranges from people trying to harm her, stealing things from her, my dad having an affair, ETC

she is now on medication and it is a lot better than it was, i think you'l find that paronoia is quite common with dementia in one form or another, we also havent told my mum she has dementia becouse she suffers short term memory loss and she would only forget if we did tell her! although i do think she has some idea she's ill and not as she once was

im afraid the only advice i can offer is to get dad checked out by his GP perhaps he needs some kind of medication to help. is your dad on any medication at all?
and perhaps if youve got a CPN perhaps you could get some advice from them
good luck

 

[Margarita]

My mother use to have paranoia really Badly well I did think it was, it was always that I was plotting something or other behind her back or stealing things , I did think of going to the doctors about it ,but never did

she not so bad now , only what she does now if I go any where she thinks I am lieing to her & doing something alse ,am use to it so I just reassure her & she ok , but now if she got Worse I would think of medication

 

[ScottOnTheSpot]

When my grandmother was first diagnosed (About a year or so after my grandfather's death) she still lived at home alone- I have a large extended family so one of my aunts or uncles, or my mother were nearby almost constantly, but up until she went into hospital about three or four years ago she remained very independent.

However, she'd have bouts of extreme mistrust and paranoia, often accusing my uncles of stealing her stuff when it was in plain view.

One time we went to visit and she complained that my uncle had stolen the television remote control and was plotting against her- we found it later hidden in a sock in her living room cupboard.

She's so far along now this rarely happens, but I know she is extremely distrustful of other people in the care home where she lives.

 

[candymostdandy@]

My mother is 85 and suffers am AZ, paranoia is evident everyday, either her bag is missing, her watch has been stolen, someone has stolen her necklace, people have been into her bathroom and left her towls dirty. When my father was alive and we had a carer for him as he had parkinsons, she used to accuse the carer of wearing her clothes and then putting them back into the wardrobe. When I asked mum why a someone in her forties would want to wear the clothes of an 80 year old she would say "have you seen the rubbish she wears", I have to say shewas a fantastic carer and very understanding. Mum would accuse her of stealing sheets, towls etc., and then replacing them with her own cheaper version.

My mother lives with me now, and I try to pre-empt situations, for example the other day her had was swelling so she decided to take all her rings off, I told her to give them to me to look after so that they did not get lost. Tru enough the next morning she starting saying that she had lost all her rings and someone had been in during the night and taken them. I slowly explained that I was looking after them because her had had swollen, and duly provided the rings, she then started laughing as on this occasion it slowly came back to her.

Quite often in the evevning when she is tired she starts looking for things, opening draws and cupboards, I explain to her that its bed time that that she doesn't need anything right now and that I will help her look for it in the morning, it certainly doing the trick at the moment.

I find mum likes to be kept busy and likes to help in the kitchen, she washes up and then puts the dishes in the fridge,(so we laugh at this), the bin is under the sink but asks me everytime she needs it, she is also afraid of doing anything wrong and checks and double checks all the time to make sure that she is doing the right thing.

Sometimes she is able to laugh at her self and the things she does, physically she will be out inthe garden weeding for a couple of hours, but doesn't now how to boil a kettle or even make a cup of tea anymore.

Ten years ago I would not have believed that I could have had my mother live with me under these circumstances, especially as we have always had a volatile relationship.

Myself and my husband try tokeep the situation at home calm, there is not point arguing as she believes what she is saying is true(anyway it will pass). Some evening we can hear her in her room moving about and talking to herself. We usually leave her and find and quite soon, she quitens down and goes to sleep. In themorning usually find that everything is out of the wardrobe and cupboards because she was packing to go home. I ask her where she is going and she says that she doesn't know,so I usually reply that there are only two optiion for her either a care home or the cemetery, by this time we are both laughing somuch that she usually has to make a run for the bathroom before she wets herself.

 

[jenniferpa]

Jean123 - I've copied your post to the main support forum as I think you'll get more responses there http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talking...ead.php?t=8903