Paranoia - Here We Go Again! Help!

[Nebiroth]

Dear Lord, here we go again. Readers will probably be aware of my Dad and his ongoing paranoid delusions about our perfectly nice, normal neighbours.

This morning, we've had the whole thing yet again - starting with "they've pushed our guttering along" followed by the usual rants about how evill they are, they are Mormons and all Mormons are evil, damaging our house, etc etc. The usual rubbish.

Dad even went so far as to get our other neighbour to look at the "damaged" guttering because he's a builder. He was told "There's nothing at all wrong, it's all lined up as it should be and perfectly normal".

Of course, as soon as Dad gets indoors, we hear "I don;t care what he said, someone has pushed the gutter along, anyway, I heard a noise last night and that was them doing it".

This stuff almost drive Mum and me into nervous breakdowns a few months ago; we had visits from the pyschiatrist etc who confirmed the diagnosis of paranoid delusions. We changed to Exelon because of this and Dad started taking quitiapine (as he was becoming agressive as well). Eveything seemed to quiet down a lot, although we still had a few moans.

Now it's all blown up again. Last time having heard the same tales I totally lost it and just shouted at Dad. I'm worried that he's going to drive me to that again. One day I'm just going to lose it and tell him that no, no-one does believe him because he's off his rocker with all this rubbish and that's what the pyschiatrist thinks, so he'd better go into a nursing home where "they" won't be able to get him.

It sounds awful, but when Dad says "one day I will pack up and leave" or "it would be better if I wasn;t here" I'm afraid I shall say "well that's how I feel too".

 

[jenniferpa]

Oh dear Nebiroth - I remember when you were going though this (last year?). What about calling the prescribing doctor and asking them to up the meds? I imagine that people do become accustomed to them, and perhaps an increased dosage might help.

I wish I could suggest some sure-fire techniques for dealing with your own frustration when you're trying to handle this, but I can't. We're only human, and the relentless drip, drip, drip of this sort of thing would be enough to cause James Bond to crack. Walking away (well actually with me its more like storming away) is about the only thing I can suggest.

Best wishes

Jennifer

 

[Kathleen]

I think this is another example of the disease being harder on the carers than the sufferers.

You know your Dad is wrong, but he "knows" he is right, that is the strength of the paranoi he is experiencing, no amount of reasoning or arguing is going to stop the way his brain is working at the moment, he is trapped in the delusions until some help, probably medication is given to him.

You, meanwhile have to deal with his behaviour towards the neighbours, look after him and try to have a bit of life yourself.

Unfortunately if you were to say those things you want to say, he would probably soon forget and you would be eaten up by guilt.

I think the best way forward is to get on the phone to his psychiatrist today and tell them exactly what has happened and how very difficult you are finding the situation.

It may mean a change of medication again and the only way to get your Dad the help he needs is through the specialist.

Kathleen

 

[Grannie G]

It sounds awful, but when Dad says "one day I will pack up and leave" or "it would be better if I wasn;t here" I'm afraid I shall say "well that's how I feel too".

To my shame, Nebiroth, I have said it, and it doesn`t make any difference, and is forgotten after a few short moments.

I don`t get the delusions, but I do get the behaviour, and it would drive anyone to distraction.

I hope there is some answer for your mother in the form of medication, and i will be interested to hear what help your father gets.

Take care xx

 

[Margarita]

Oh I do feel for you , Your think Doctor could give our father medication just for Paranoia .

We changed to Exelon because of this and Dad started taking quitiapine (as he was becoming agressive as well).

EXelon is for AZ

Quititapine is to control anger

So why do they not give medication for paranoia or don't they like giving it anymore? they told me , back a few years when my mother had paranoia , that they could give her medication for it , but I never got it

 

[Nebiroth]

EXelon is for AZ

Quititapine is to control anger

Yeah, but the psychiatrist told us that Exelon can help to control "psychotic" symptoms, better than Aricept does anyway. That's why we changed over to Exelon, we'd had Aricept before.

Quitiapine has many uses, and is often used to treat people with mental illnesses like schizophrenia which also produce "psychotic" symptoms (like paranoia or hearing voices etc)

 

[Margarita]

Oic


My brother was told with Paranoia schizophrenia 25 years ago , when he was 25 , they gave him a medication that is called Modicate (sp) his still on it they did try him on the newer drug called risperdal but it did not work for him , he just went psychotic on me, it was like he was in slow motion & very paranoid .

so they put him back on Modicate that took away the aggressive side & the paranoia. .

What I do not like is when they do the change over in medication , they left him at home with me , when I was looking after him , they should put him in hospital.

May be thats why I could handle my mother paranoia , because I was use to it with my brother for so many year .

Even thought I had my own life away from him , till my father died 5 years ago.

My mother was put on Exbiza that help with the paranoia, after a long , long while I must add

I thought they would of had a tablet that is just for Paranoia , not medication for schizophrenia.

So medication for AZ and Medication for schizophrenia , what a cocktail of drugs, and still it does not take the paranoia from your father

 

[Memori]

Please just how do you get someone to accept tablets if they are really against taking them, Mum has refused to go to the "Memory Clinic" where it could have been discussed if she could have tablets, the nurse who tested her at home said yes it was probably some form of dementia, but the Doctor or the Nurse would not say anything about naming the problem, and Mum says I dont want any tablets I dont have any problems.

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Memori,

I don`t think you can make anyone take tablets against their will. I know how difficult it is, but we can`t force, and as Alzheimers sufferers are not open to logical persuasion, our hands are tied.

Just one more brick wall to bang our heads against.

 

[fearful fiona]

Dear Memori

Join the club! Your Mum sounds just like mine, doesn't think there is a problem, she is just getting old. Won't take pills, won't go to memory clinic. I think everyone has given up trying, because as Grannie G says you can't force people to take medication etc.

Seems like there's a few of us out there with the same problem.

 

[alfjess]

Hi All
You can't force people to take medication, but can you cajole them into taking it.

Mum is also very anti tablets, now. Pre dementia she was a bit of a hypochondriac.

We ask "do you have a headache" normally the answer is yes, "Oh this will sort it" giving her a tablet. "Is your back sore?" I have just the thing to make it better" giving her another tablet and so on, with lots of conversation in between to distract her mind from the medication.

We find that not making an issue of it works wonders, if she refuses then we leave it for about 5 mins, then try again, usually works.

Alfjess

 

[Margarita]

I told my mother to take them or she die , I love her don't want her to die , that I was not going to look after her , if she did not take medication .

I would of said anything to convince her to take the medication , because she is diabetic & I was not going to see her go in to a diabetic coma , oh yes I told her that also .

Every day it was like that at the end when she got into a routine with me she took them . But I must say that I could not of done it , If I never moved in with her and became her full time carer

I was in Gibraltar when I took mum to the doctor then to the consultant , then to brain scan , she did not want to go , because she thought she had schizophrenia like my brother , so did I really , but it seem all much worse , so strange in anything I had seem before in my mother, or my brother . so I had to get to the bottom of it , even if my mother did not want to .

Seeing my mother moved from England to Gibraltar , thinking back to those days , as now I have read that a move can Confuse them more . mum was pretty bad in those days , going into late AZ .

She was telling me that I should cover up for her , Why am I been so cruel taking her to doctor , telling them every thing , then consultant that done memory test on her , calling him his an idiot for giving her a test , but she done it all the time looking at me for the answer , while consultant look at me , tell me not to say anything , then mum says see I am not stupid when she finish it .

Then he sent her for brain scan , when we received the appointment to go . I shall never forget that day , she was shaking like a leaf so scared that she just went along with it all , with me reassuring her over , over all the way in the taxi and when we got they that all will be OK and calling me names for being a bad daughter

Then few days later Consultant told My and I that she had AZ so adding one more tablet that she did not want to take .

 

[marlene]

quote (We ask "do you have a headache" normally the answer is yes, "Oh this will sort it" giving her a tablet. "Is your back sore?" I have just the thing to make it better" giving her another tablet and so on, with lots of conversation in between to distract her mind from the medication. ( quote)

sorry to say but we have to resort to the above method too. We cant manage my mum unless she takes her meds so its needs must.. Good luck x

my mum is on aricept, venlafaxine for depression, quitiapine for anger and paranoia and lorazapine which helps to calm mum when she gets really upset.