Wow Tina, thank you so much - you've really helped to lift my spirits and inject some strength again. I hope we can talk again, as I follow you on this awful journey. Good night xJacky, please believe me, there are some very good care homes. My own husband who I love more than life itself, is residing in a very good care home.
Your job when the time comes, will be to find them! And when you do find one and if your mother is a resident there, to be actively involved with her care. You sound like the sort of person who would be alert to any signs of poor care and not afraid of complaining loudly and long until you are happy.
However horrifying the thought of having your mother residing in a care home is in view of tonight's programme, remember that it was her vigilant daughter who brought it to light!
Do your homework, find the best care home you can, and visit as often as you can: visit at least twice, or more if you can, watch how staff interact with each other and with residents, watch if the manager ever actually leaves the office and interracts with staff and residents, have a meal at the home and eat the food yourself. Meal times are a good period to watch as often staff are very hard pressed to care for high dependancy residents at this busy time. Do your homework!
Be vigilent and active if your mother does go into the care home, especially if she becomes immobile and unable to communicate with you and remember, caring for a person doesn't end when they go into residential care. You will still be a very important 'player' in the care of your mother.