Been there done that
Hi Matrix, I tried to answer your thread ages ago but being new to TP my reply got lost somewhere. My husband 53, now has severe AD but earlier on went through a stage of having horrendous panic attacks which I found by far to be the most upsetting and difficult stage of his illness to cope with. His attacks sometimes had triggers such as going into the toilet or bathroom, or other times just came out of nowhere. It got that way that I could tell within seconds when an attack was coming on. He would get a real worried frown on his face and start backing away from me, sometimes swearing to himself and at me, then he would start to repeat Mum.......mum which would get louder and louder and filled with fear like a lost child and start pacing around as if looking for an escape route. If I tried to approach him or calm him he would look at me as a threat and grab my arms quite violently to hold me still as if I was going to hurt him, this would continue for quite a while untill his state of panic went on to the final stage where he would break down crying ,once this happened I could console him again.I tried lots of different ways to handle these attacks, with diversion and at first when they weren't too bad or too frequent I managed reasonably well. As soon as I sensed an attack coming Iwould immediately tell him we were going for a walk as the change of environment seemed to snap him out of it . I always had us dressed in suitable walking clothes and runners so we could take off at a moments notice. We would go walking into town admiring things we'd pass and have lunch or just a coffee and stay out walking for 4 to 5 hours. Unfortunately the attacks became daily events , long lasting and more violent my arms getting pretty bruised. For him it was as if he was trying to fight his way out of a constant nightmare , honestly it was quite cruel to watch. I was given many different medications to try, but all they did was slow down his body but not his mind, he would be litterally crawling around on his hands and knees drooling, but still calling out Mum,swearing and swiping out at me. Several times I had to call an ambulance as when he'd see the ambulance men he would begin to calm down as he always seemed to respond well to other men . I was told that this was because his personality was that of a dominant male , and through his rather difficult upbringing had learner that if you're in trouble you want a bloke by your side , not a woman, sort of 'safety in numbers' .In his last really shocking attack , his panic state got so bad he drew a huge breath and screamed at the top of his lungs untill he passes out only to recover a few minutes later still terrified. It was then that I asked the Doctor to admit him to hospital and keep him in there and trial medications under supervision untill they could find something that could help stop this terrible state he was living in. I stayed with him and slept in a chair beside his bed as he was used to me showering ,dressing and feeding him and when not having an attack we coped quite well , he just had the other AD simptoms that he needed help with. The good news is, finally they found something that actually worked and stopped the attacks, and now, though time has progressed and he is now seriously deteriorating, is still taking to stop that terrible fear from surfacing again. His medication is Haloperidol (serenace) of which he takes 10mg daily, 5mg in the morning and 5mg at night. The down side is I found it upsetting to see it had slowed him down more than I would have liked as I have tried to avoid any kind of medication that would take away or lessen the abilities he still had left, however discussions with Doctors and family helped me cope with watching him less able to physically do things he could before, and to not feel guilty about giving him this medication (which he doesn't know he is taking as he always refused medication and spat tablets out , this is crushed in juice). It came down to deciding which state is more distressing for ' him' not me. His being slowed down or continually terrified. I realized that the choice to continue with this medication was the right thing to do, regardless of some losses in ability ...................Anyway that's my experience with panic attacks, I hope I didn't go on too long and that you may have got something useful out of it................Cheers Daizee
