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Own home or with relatives best during corona virus lock down

Laura Mac

New member
Mar 24, 2020
1
I would welcome anyone's thoughts on whether it's better for my mother who has dementia, managing day to day but little short term memory to be home isolated with twice daily carer visits or to have her living with family members and thus increasing the potential for infecting as there are three of us in the house and I work for NHS and as a key worker so can work at home some of the time but cannot be guaranteed. Trying to fin the balance between stability and the importance of family contact is not an easy decision
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,216
cornwall
I would welcome anyone's thoughts on whether it's better for my mother who has dementia, managing day to day but little short term memory to be home isolated with twice daily carer visits or to have her living with family members and thus increasing the potential for infecting as there are three of us in the house and I work for NHS and as a key worker so can work at home some of the time but cannot be guaranteed. Trying to fin the balance between stability and the importance of family contact is not an easy decision
I would say it is better for your mum to stay at home with the carers.I decided the same with dad. I can phone him (he cannot use a phone to call me).It would put you at less risk. The same for your mum. Plus she knows her own home well..It is not easy to make a decision.You have to do what you feel is right. Good luck.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
112
Hi @Laura Mac
It's a awful dilemma. My dad has carers coming into him 4 x daily. Dad lives alone and needs a lot of help with personal care meals etc. Family as in sister and I have always helped a lot too. We do live close to dad but unfortunately don't get on another story!!. I made the heartbreaking decision last weekend following advice and Mother's Day visits that I shouldn't visit dad given the threat of the virus. My partner is in the high risk group too due to his age Parkinson's and heart issues. I felt that if I pick up the virus as I'm the one that will be doing necessary shop etc that I could put either or both of them at risk. Of course there is a risk carers could pass virus too and then I could take it home to partner. Dad is 86yrs my partner late 70's and I am 60 yrs so a fairly big age gap. It's frightening as it seems the Coronovirus can still affect some of the young fit people badly too. I felt it best in future until virus threat over that I drop dads shopping off which I get for him and carers take in at door. I hope and pray he gets through this in fact I hope we all do. I'm feeling pretty distressed today but do get to have a chat with dad daily. My dad has only just really twigged what is happening in the outside world as he rarely goes out so in that respect things won't be that different. I can't really advise you further other than tell you my decision and reason behind it. Good luck and keep posting it's lovely to have this online forum.
 

Betenoir71

Registered User
Jun 20, 2019
21
My mum lives with us (we both work in NHS inpatient services so are still at work) - our (amazing) usual carer from the agency now needs to self isolate because her son has a temperature.
We have made the decision to temporarily stop care package as they (understandably) can’t guarantee only one or two caters to visit. After much soul searching, multiple carers coming in seems too big a risk right now to take.
Our work needs us in. Mum needs us for all her self-care/everyday functioning. Local care homes are on lockdown, so respite is not an option, who knows how long this pandemic will last.
We are lucky in so many ways, others have it so much harder, but I feel at the end of my tether: Sorry to moan, need to vent to keep going, much love to everyone in the same position ❤💕
 

Glokta

Registered User
Jul 22, 2019
62
Both I and my brother visit my mum once a day, he in the am, me pm. She is too unpleasant a character for one of us to live with and sadly not able to cope without care visits. We’ve tried to get social care in but she denies them access. I would willingly avoid going if I could, but how can I? I’m between a rock and a hard place, as I have my 91 year old mum in law living with us, I am 60, my husband 70. My friends are urging me to turn her over to the SS, if only it were that simple! We are taking as many precautions as we can.
 

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