I am upset and unable to sleep (at an unholy hour in the morning here in the States) and thought maybe writing it out, would help me to calm down. It's not a crisis, just (what I sense is) the accumulation of a lot of small issues. A year ago, my mother, who was not then diagnosed, had a crisis, went into hospital (was sectioned, in UK terms), was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I was told she had to go into a care home. So we moved her from her home of the last 50+ years (the city; she'd been in that property for about 20 years) to a care home in the city where I live. She had been 100 miles away; now she's only 15 minutes. I'm an only child with a very supportive husband but no other close relatives on her side, as she is also an only child. My mother is doing well in the care home although early days were not great. My husband and I immediately started clearing the property, knowing it would eventually need to be sold. We usually only had one day a week where we could make the round trip drive and sort and clean. It took months, and it's still not completely cleared out. Of course I had to deal with the immediate health crisis, and then the financial issues, first, as well as getting my mother settled in the care home and all the issues that go with that. This all took more time and energy than I care to remember. I am finally making real progress on getting her finances and legal affairs sorted, and an outstanding issue is to sell the property. The first estate agent quit about a month ago, and we started all over again with Estate Agent Two. A week ago Saturday my husband drove down to the property to meet Estate Agent Two. My husband thought the guy was fine, and gave him a key to the property. The agent said he would begin his "market analysis" to figure out what it would likely fetch on the market, and would get us information soon, and that he could help us dispose of the remaining contents of the property, mostly furniture. There are a few pieces I am keeping but haven't arranged to have shipped to where I live yet. Tonight when I couldn't sleep, I read the emails that had arrived today from Estate Agent Two. One is about paperwork, the contracts and so forth we are meant to fill out, and how the property will be listed and so forth. One I don't remember, and the third one contained photos of the property. Lots of the furniture is no longer there. EA2 (Estate Agent Two) also asked if we want him to take the contents of the storage room and donate it. I was incredibly upset by all of this. I have thought and thought and finally figured out that I'm upset because: -although my husband told me that EA2 would help us dispose of furniture, I didn't understand that EA2 would do so without asking/informing me first -it's possible, but unknown right this minute, that EA2 has disposed of items I wished to keep (and also possible that my husband and I removed them already; I simply can't remember and can't bear to wake my husband to ask him). It's a set of chairs that belonged to my great-grandmother. Probably not worth anything, but one of those items where, as a child, you're taught they are full of sentimental value and must be treasured for all time. Two of them were in the house where I grew up and I was fond of them. This is doubly distressing because those chairs were saved, by me, when my grandmother wanted to dispose of them in 1992 (now I know that was the beginning of her Alzheimer's, but that's another story). I can't bear to think that I saved them from dementia and the rubbish heap once, only to lose them now. But as I said, this isn't certain, and I'm trying not to be upset in advance of the facts. -I was distressed that EA2 even looked in the storage closet. Most of what remains in there is my grandmother's china, crystal, and silver. It's not valuable by a long shot and I may or may not keep it, but I feel distressed that this man, whom I've never met, would suggest to take it to Goodwill (I think you'd say the charity shop in the UK). I wrote EA2 a polite but very clear email to say, I appreciate all your help, but don't dispose of the contents of the storage closet, don't even go into the storage closet, we will be in touch soon, and by the way, don't get rid of the desk, the armchair, and where are the other chairs? I copied my husband and will ask him, if he knows where the chairs are. Then I went and made a cup of tea and tried to read a book to calm down, but it didn't work, and here I am, spilling my guts on the Internet in the wee hours of the morning. The other issues are that in the past few weeks, things have picked up the pace quite a bit in terms of work with/for the solicitor, the accountant, the financial guy, an issue with investments, and other bits and pieces. There is also some personal stress (a good stress, but still stress). So there have been a lot of meetings and phone calls and emails and extra paperwork. I was already drowning in paperwork, and now there is more. I have also been offered a part-time job and that's also a major cause of stress right now. I try very hard to stay functional and keep going. I am grateful I no longer have to make the 100 mile drive to take my mother to the doctor and worry about her being alone. But there is still work to do, with her in the care home. As some of you know, I am not, and have never been, emotionally close to my mother, and do all of this out of duty. I really do try my best, but it always seems it is not good enough. Some friends and family have disappeared, but the ones that have stuck are good, and do care. I go to a carer's group a couple of times a month and have one activity I've managed to keep doing. I see a counselor from time to time. I try to keep going. I feel so much better than I did even a couple of months ago. I thought it was getting better. But I was completely blindsided, by the distress about the property and the estate agent. How could I possibly be so upset, about some tatty old chairs that might not even be missing? (I do know, of course, that it's probably not the chairs I'm upset about, or not just the chairs, but that's all the insight my sleep-deprived brain can provide.) The other issue is about feeling that no matter how hard I try, or what I do, it's just not enough. I've tried and tried and tried to take care of myself, and be productive and okay, and I don't think I've done a good job. I've tried to tell people that I am tired and stressed and overwhelmed, and I can't seem to make myself understood. If anybody actually managed to read through this, I'm impressed. If you have any advice for me, I will listen.