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Outside help

SMacGregor

Registered User
Feb 11, 2021
12
0
Hi

I need somebody to go into my mum and either operate the TV video portal so I can have a video chat with her once in a while and also charge up and keep her Facebook app open on her IPad so that I can give her videos and photos to look at and discuss with her carers.

My brother does live with my mum but even on Xmas day, he could not manage to turn the TV portal on for me and her grandchildren to say hi on Christmas day. I don't think he likes the carers doing it as whenever they try for me the ipad is uncharged or the Facebook app has been removed.

Modern technology could really be helping me keep in contact with her but she cant operate it and gets flustered if my brother starts huffing and puffing about it.

I don't live near enough to visit weekly and with Covid am not allowed in at the moment at all.

Any suggestions on who I could contact? Its becoming a real issue for me. Just an hour a week (when covid safe to do so) would mean so much to me. My brother is passively resistant to it all - says he will do it but never does. Its very difficult to resolve.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,395
0
Hello @SMacGregor

I wonder if Age UK may be able to help. Here's a link to their services, which may not be running as normal at the moment but no doubt worth a look. I understand that they do have volunteers to help with tech, so may be able to help you out.

 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,814
0
Hi @SMacGregor and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. We had a similar thing in that my brother in law who cares for his mum (though he doesn't live with her) wouldn't organise FaceTime calls so my husband could chat with his mum. In his case I think the reason was their mother wouldn't really understand who was on the other end of the phone, and if she did would get upset about not being able to see my husband in person, therefore creating a difficult situation for the brother as he would have to calm his mother down.
In the first instance maybe a discussion with your brother, about why he isn't setting things up for you, maybe it is because it upsets her too much. However if that is the case he ought to be suggesting other ways to keep in touch. My mother is in a care home, has limited eyesight and wouldn't understand what to do if I did skype her. I mainly keep in touch by sending personalised cards and gifts of flowers and chocolates. Maybe do that until you feel that it is safe to visit in person again,
 

SMacGregor

Registered User
Feb 11, 2021
12
0
She knows who we all are and understands its a video call, she just can't do the buttons on the TV as theres a bit of input changing to do to connect and then log into the Facebook account so its not just one click and an answer. I speak twice a day and send gifts, photos etc each week. I will try Age UK when things are a bit more normal. My brother says he will but then doesn't, just says he tired or busy so I have given up asking. The carers say they will but whenever they try the equipment is not there or not working. If Age Uk cant help I will probably resolve myself to it just not happening.
It transpired last week that he does not even like the carers talking to me so its making it difficult for them and I dont want to make their lives harder. Its just sad when we know her time is limited.
 

NotSuperMan

Registered User
Mar 7, 2021
30
0
Do you know any of her neighbours?
Even if a neighbour not able to help they may know someone nearby who would help?
Fingers crossed you can get this sorted
 

SMacGregor

Registered User
Feb 11, 2021
12
0
So good news on this front - put a new portal in for mum and with a bit of advice from me over the phone, she can answer it herself! The stand alone portal is easier to use than the TV portal for anyone thinking of getting one.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
77
0
So good news on this front - put a new portal in for mum and with a bit of advice from me over the phone, she can answer it herself! The stand alone portal is easier to use than the TV portal for anyone thinking of getting one.
What is a portal? I’d like to do something like this but my pwd has trouble operating gadgets. Is there anything available that’s dead easy to work?