I really want to help give my mum some quality of life.She has been a few weeks in a care home, very upset during visits, grieving the life she can no longer have. For the past 2 years at home been confused, upset, saying she has nothing in her life. I try to fix things but it doesn't work and this makes me feel so bad. I know it is the awful illness she has that is to blame, but I wish I could help her be happy. Any ideas for outings or anything you feel has worked help with happiness? We haven't taken her out yet as not sure if we would get her back and I don't want her to be even more upset after an outing.
Hi there Annii,
Just try to keep a sense of perspective. None of us are happy all the time, yet we try to keep our mums happy constantly. Whatever gave your mum pleasure before dementia may well please her now. Maybe you could take in some of her favourite foods, play her favourite music, take in a dvd of her favourite films and watch it with her.
My mum loves lifelike dolls and we find cuddling her 'baby' soothes her when she is upset.
Sometimes when we visit we make a cup of tea for mum and invite others in the home to join us for a cuppa. We chat about the 'old days' with them and it seems to help mum to socialise.
We take in biscuits and have also provided pretty place mats for the residents to enjoy. It's amazing what can trigger conversation.
Perhaps your mum would enjoy doing a jigsaw? My mum gets pleasure from watching me knit or crochet. She loves me to just sit next to her doing this.
Maybe your mum would enjoy having her nails done or her hair brushed? Both these things soothe my mum.
We play cards with mum sometimes. I find it easier if my daughter joins us because mum can't play a hand on her own so we play as a pair against my daughter. She likes dominoes, too.
Hope this has given you some ideas.
Maggie