Outings away from care home

[Sweetie]

Hi, and thanks to everyone who has replied to my other postings. It is a "relief" if that's the right word - to know there are others going through the same as I am.

Has anyone experience of taking their loved ones out of their care homes for an hour or so to look round the shops, or go for a walk or visit someone? My mum has been "inside" for about four weeks in total and we have visited but not yet taken her out as she always says she wants to go home. I know the carers have taken her out for short walks on occasion.

I feel awful for not taking her out into the community as I'm sure she would still enjoy the ordinary things that we take for granted and is still mobile. But a little worried about getting her back to her care home again, and she might constantly go on about not wanting to take her back there.

Any tips please?

Thanks

 

[daughter]

Hi Sweetie,

My Mum also worried about taking my Dad on outings at first, with the main worry being getting him back to the Care Home again. Now we take him out for rides in the car, stopping at quiet tea-rooms, walks around the local town (weather permitting), and Mum even takes Dad home to their house for a cup of tea sometimes, (he thinks it belongs to someone else).

There is no problem getting Dad to go back to his Home because, after he's drunk his tea, he's always ready to get up and go somewhere ("go to get back" - he may even say "time to go home"). If there's any problem as they approach the Care Home, (e.g. Dad's sometimes says "What are we going here for" etc.) Mum just says something like, "Oh, we're going to have our tea soon".

Outings break up the monotony for my Mum (she visits every afternoon for several hours) and makes a change for Dad who, like your Mum, is still mobile.

Hopefully you would find outings with your Mum similar, but of course it depends on her concept of 'Home' and where it really is. Once you've done it a few times I'm sure you'll feel more confident. We've made some lovely memories this Sumer and hopefully you will do this too.

Best wishes,

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Hi Sweetie,

I think you can start taking her out for outings now. I found that my mother talked more about "going home" when we were inside the home. Getting her back was easy - I would simply say "We're going back now" without specifying what or where "back" was. Makes it easier for me.

One interesting thing, you might want to ask your mother where her home is - the answer might be very surprising. About 3 years ago, "home" was where my mother had lived with her parents in the late 40s, early 50s.

As Hazel said, make memories for yourself now.

Joanne

 

[daughter]

P.S. Perhaps you could ask your Mum's Home if you could accompany them on one of their short walks or excursions. The carers will then be on hand to come to the rescue if things get awkward and you would be able to see how your Mum reacts.

 

[Sweetie]

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I'll let you know how we get on.