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Out on my own!

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
128
So yesterday I went out on my own.
I never go out without my OH, except to walk the dog and even that has been reduced from an hour to half.
He wouldn’t come to harm, in fact he probably slept the whole time. His mobility is poor so he won’t wonder anywhere, he just doesn’t like being left. Going anywhere is becoming harder, poor mobility and constant need for the toilet means it’s just easier to stay at home. So I just said “ I’m going out, won’t be long”. Surprised myself,I was only gone just over an hour. Can’t decide if I enjoyed my trip, felt guilty and selfish! But on the whole I’m glad I did it and I plan to do it again!
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
627
So yesterday I went out on my own.
I never go out without my OH, except to walk the dog and even that has been reduced from an hour to half.
He wouldn’t come to harm, in fact he probably slept the whole time. His mobility is poor so he won’t wonder anywhere, he just doesn’t like being left. Going anywhere is becoming harder, poor mobility and constant need for the toilet means it’s just easier to stay at home. So I just said “ I’m going out, won’t be long”. Surprised myself,I was only gone just over an hour. Can’t decide if I enjoyed my trip, felt guilty and selfish! But on the whole I’m glad I did it and I plan to do it again!
Well done Vic10, definitely don't feel guilty and in no way could you ever be called selfish - enjoy your walks! I sometimes manage to sneak off to the supermarket on my own, though my partner usually wants to come with me!
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
749
Basingstoke, Hampshire
So yesterday I went out on my own.
I never go out without my OH, except to walk the dog and even that has been reduced from an hour to half.
He wouldn’t come to harm, in fact he probably slept the whole time. His mobility is poor so he won’t wonder anywhere, he just doesn’t like being left. Going anywhere is becoming harder, poor mobility and constant need for the toilet means it’s just easier to stay at home. So I just said “ I’m going out, won’t be long”. Surprised myself,I was only gone just over an hour. Can’t decide if I enjoyed my trip, felt guilty and selfish! But on the whole I’m glad I did it and I plan to do it again!
Good for you. I'm too much of a coward. My husband has poor mobility, but I'm just scared that he might try to follow me. The furthest I've been is to the gate at the entrance to the flats, just to use the glass recycle bin. Even then he stood at the door watching for me.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,675
Woohoo, I’m doing a happy dance for you. Bet it felt odd putting yourself first for once.
Look on it as a “sanity saver “ moment that will enable you to continue caring, then it will feel less selfish; but it shouldn’t feel selfish in the beginning it’s just our own logic gets eaten away by dementias demands!

go girl!

still doing Happy dance for you! xx
 

silver'lantern

Registered User
Apr 23, 2019
166
I am in a different situation to you but I understand your feelings of getting out on your own. Well done, and keep it up. Daily if you can but once a week at least. I am able to walk out shut the door and switch off carer mode for the time I am out. It recharges batteries and helps keep me feeling human. I know there will come a time it wont happen but I live today, and today it happens.
My PWD is happy to be left alone (he refuses to come with me) as long as things go to plan. He can't process what to do if things go wrong, or something not planned happens. but I have things in place to make it as good as it can be. Last week I went to visit my 83 year old mum. On my return he hadn't had lunch. Turns out I didn't say he could have the soup I had made the day before. So another layer will be added this week and I will leave a packed lunch and phone him to remind him to eat. I am lucky with how he is I know that. I am sole carer and have had him living with me 6 years now. and the layers keep being added so we both have as best a life as we can muster. But reading other posts I am wondering what around the corner.........but keep living today. today I can so I do.
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
128
Thanks so much for your comments.
Today back to reality and housework but your encouragement put a real spring in my step as I vacuumed and mopped up wee!!
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
627
Thanks so much for your comments.
Today back to reality and housework but your encouragement put a real spring in my step as I vacuumed and mopped up wee!!
Bless you - you ask so little in life..... hope you're going to manage some more walks!