Out of the mouths of children ....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Tender Face, Dec 31, 2006.

  1. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Son (12) asked me tonight ......

    'If cancer can sometimes be cured, but Alzheimers can't be ... how come cancer research gets all that money and people like grandma don't?'

    Any help gratefully received.....

    Karen, x
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    I imagine that this is more of a rhetorical question, however, I think it's ageism. The perception is that AD hits only the elderly who "have had their lives" while cancer hits all age groups. Bald children are much more photogenic than white haired grannies.

  3. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    It's a perception that needs changing ... as many of the people on here would agree, it's not only a disease which affects the elderly. I think society as a whole has to change, unfortunately we seem to be moving in the wrong direction.

    Whilst government is happy to spend billions on ID card schemes and the nuclear programme, illnesses such as AD will always be at the bottom of the pile. Now, that's me off my political soapbox! :) Happy New Year, both!
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    I think it`s because, historically, older people are identified with senile dementia and even though research has now shown there are different causes and symptoms, the label has stuck. It is probably considered inevitable.
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    I agree that it's ageism.

    "I could get cancer tomorrow, so let's find a cure. AD? I'll think about that when I get old."
  6. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    I suppose i'd agree with the ageism thing...............i have a 11 year old nephew diagnosed a year ago with (at the time) terminal cancer............he had his thigh bone removed and replaced with a titanium bone............after 12 months of rigorous chemo, he rang me on thursday night to say he's been given the all clear (for now) he's been to hell and back and his life has hardly started.........he's never once complained about it............i remember thinking at the time, that i wouldn't mind so much if he had had a life..............but i do think that with cancer...........there is hope.........with dementia............well, we all know the answer.

    Love Alex x
  7. angela.robinson

    angela.robinson Registered User

    Dec 27, 2004
    i dont think we should get into cancer versus AD as they.must be the worst two devastating illnesses, and if all the money thats been given to cancer has given us some cures and hope ,then i am all for that , we just need to plug away now for AD research as well as ,not at the cost of cancer research ,
  8. jan.

    jan. Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    Cheshire, UK.
    I so agree with you Angela,

    my mum died of cancer, 4yrs ago. Dad now has A.D. If i had to choose who should live and who should die.......Well.......I could NEVER choose!!! Much more awareness is the only key to more understanding and funding of this disabling condition.

  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Here here! I wouln't deny for a moment the funding for cancer research. John has had non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and if he hadn't had expert treatment I would never have known him.

    We just have to get it over to the younger generation that if they want to avoid AD the time to put money into research is NOW.
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #10 Margarita, Dec 31, 2006
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2006
    Look back in history only 30/40 years ago.

    You could tell your son that 30 years ago, people where scared that you could get cancer from touching people or drinking from they cup, now how integrant is that ! you could not talk about cancer so openly then like we do now .

    How did they do that change people views being more educated in cancer and getting that message across to the younger generation
    Companying for more researchers on cancer more understanding has change people way,

    I hope that in 30 years time AZ will be on the same standing as cancer is now, Only way to do that is educating your son generation and my daughter generation, next generation , I am from that past genertation of cancer thinking 30 /40 years ago . So have seen the change .

    So will you son one day in the furture with AZ
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Margarita, you`re so right. I remember people talking in whispers about cancer, mouthing the words because they were too frightened to say them out loud. Do you remember the Les Dawson sketches with Roy Barraclough? The two middle aged `women` talking about their ailments?

    All I hope is we don`t have to wait 30 years for Alzheimers and Dementia to lose the stigma.

    Those of us who know, need to talk about it as openly and candidly as we can.

    My husband still has the misconception that those with mental illnesses are violent. Whenever he has a `lapse`, the first thing he asks, when he comes out of it is `Did I say or do anything to hurt you?`

    It`s up to us to put matters right.

  12. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    Oh Ye of little faith! The DWP have just informed me that although Mary's condition justifies the higher rate of Attendance Allowance it cannot be paid for six month as her condition may not be permanent. Cheer up next year will be different!
  13. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    I'm convinced that my mother's Vascular Dementia was caused by the high levels of steroids that she has had to take for 26 years for Rheumatoid Arthritis. Medical research needs to carried out on all diseases, because one condition can so easily lead on to another. It is impossible to say which illness is the most awful as they affect different people in different ways, but my Mum has been in a considerable amount of pain for decades.
  14. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    That's absolutely awful. You are going to appeal, right?

  15. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    We've just got the higher rate, and we had to wait six months for it. They used to back-date it to the date of application, but no longer. Yet another stealth tax!
  16. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Dick & Skye.
    The catch is when they ask" how long have you been caring during the night?"
    The answer required is "for the past six months.
    When time back I applied for the higher rate I was asked that question.
    I said about 3 months and that was how long before they increased the rate.
  17. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Thank you all for your all so valid points on this ... rather embarrassed that until dementia affected ME personally was so ignorant myself ...... but that's EXACTLY what you're saying, isn't it, Margarita? It's more about lack of education (and my son is only getting a rapid education on this front only because it is directly affecting him).....

    (Margarita, you made me recall with a wry smile my sweet, (prudish !) grandmother dying (cancer of the womb) some 30 years ago ... but the 'cause' wasn't to be mentioned because it affected the womb it had to have sexual connotations .... :( )

    I'm sure the 'ageism' thing is the key ... but any 'ism' is politically non-PC now?

    I'd never suggest money and attention should be diverted from other worthy causes (show me some charity which is not worthy???) ... it's how to get AZ more firmly onto the 'map'.......

    Proud of my son for asking the question ... poor show I didn't feel able to answer.......:eek:

    Thanks again, Love, Karen

    (PS: Dick, Skye, Norman .... your points on AA are so important - is there somewhere on the forum they can be copied to where they might get better 'coverage' than to be 'lost' amongst this thread .... know it's something I've 'clocked' to bear in mind and may help many others ...... many thanks, K, x)
  18. abby

    abby Registered User

    Dec 19, 2006
    West Country
    So sorry to digress here....apols...but can an AD sufferer still get DLA aswell as AA ?:eek:

    I am so relieved I found this site and so grateful for all the help I am given...but the downside it only re-inforces that I really am stumbling around in the dark.....( that's the polite way of describing how ' lost in the red tape jungle I actually feel )

    I thought I had covered everything for Dad.....maybe not....failed him again....

    Sorry to hyjack but it was mentioned in the earlier post...:eek:

  19. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Abby ... digressing and hijacking seems to come with the territory here .... and from what I have seen for good reason .....amazing how one pretty inconsequential thing can lead to another of more significance - which was my point about what has arisen from this thread that 'deserves' a far wider audience than my initial post ....

    And no - you haven't failed .... know so much how you feel ... TP just gives some 'torchlight' in what can seem like an abyss - part of the problem sometimes is there is sooooooooo much good advice here, hard to pinpoint those particular bits you want at any time ....

    Love, Karen, x
  20. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    Abby, is your father over 65? Because if so, it's attendance allowance not DLA (that's for under 65's).

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