Out of our depth

[Marysgirl]

Hello everyone. Our beautiful wee mum was diagnosed earlier this year with Alz.



Last week she became poorly and was admitted to hospital - she was showing signs of delirium but they found no infection.



After over a week in hospital she was signed off by all the usual people as medically fit to go home which she did today. She can’t understand why she lives in this house and can’t remember why she lives there although she completely recognises it as her home and her belongings. Certain things she gets fixated on, for example a woman in a magazine looked like a family member and she is adamant it’s her and she’s changed her name, even though the family member told her it wasn’t her on a zoom yesterday. She’s confused about things like why my brother lives in another town and how is she supposed to get to him to visit (mum has never visited us we always visit her)


Anyway they have changed her diagnosis to Alz and Vascular saying these behaviours are more in line with vascular dementia. We've been told this might be how she is from now on or that she may settle a little calmer once home. Prior to last week mum had no symptoms of dementia at all except memory loss and forgetfulness.

She’s been going on and on about going to the caravan (we have one) and although I want to take her for a few days, I've read that constant changes in environment are not always good.


So my main questions are, is there a chance she will get better or even back to her normal baseline and how long should we let the care package settle in and mum settle before starting to take her away places. Any other tips and advice are welcome; we are out of our depth so much.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Marysgirl you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

What you detail does sound fairly typical of dementia, which, unfortunately, is a progressive condition. It's true that too much change can be confusing and unsettling.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.


Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.

 

[Sarasa]

My mother and mother in law both have vascular dementia and it tends to go in steps. I’ve certainly noticed with MiL that she did seem to improve slightly after any incident that her knocked her back, but not to the level she was previously. Now might be the time to start thinking about getting more support in for your mum.

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @Marysgirl

It's very common for any hospital stay to increase confusion for someone with dementia and also quite common for underlying dementia to be detected during a hospital stay. The person is out of their usual environment and being observed more closely than usual.

It is certainly possible that your mum will settle down but, as you have suggested, it is probably best to leave it a while before taking her anywhere else. If it makes your mum happy, then perhaps talking about going to the caravan but making excuses not to just yet (perhaps the weather isn't quite good enough or the caravan is having something mended) will suffice for now.

My mum also has vascular dementia, which is very advanced now and she has been in a care home for some time but I looked after her myself for a few years before then. There are lots of us here to help you along so keep us posted on how things are going.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hi @Marysgirl My dad had a three week stay in hospital with pneumonia and delirium and it certainly affected him in a similar way. Before the hospital he could cope on his own in a fashion with a lot of help from me. After the hospital he needed 24/7 care from me. He couldn't find his kitchen or bathroom in his own bungalow anymore and certainly had no knowledge of food in his cupboards or fridge.

He did improve slowly but never to how he was before the hospital stay. He could be left for a short period like if I popped up the shop but I was always frightened that he might leave the house although he probably wasn't able enough for that.

Dad would get fixated on things too but I usually went along with him because it was easier.

It is true that changes from routine can make dementia worse for many people and I would think very carefully about taking her away but perhaps you could try her with a day trip and see how things go.

Good luck and keep posting.

 

[Marysgirl]

Hi @Marysgirl My dad had a three week stay in hospital with pneumonia and delirium and it certainly affected him in a similar way. Before the hospital he could cope on his own in a fashion with a lot of help from me. After the hospital he needed 24/7 care from me. He couldn't find his kitchen or bathroom in his own bungalow anymore and certainly had no knowledge of food in his cupboards or fridge.

He did improve slowly but never to how he was before the hospital stay. He could be left for a short period like if I popped up the shop but I was always frightened that he might leave the house although he probably wasn't able enough for that.

Dad would get fixated on things too but I usually went along with him because it was easier.

It is true that changes from routine can make dementia worse for many people and I would think very carefully about taking her away but perhaps you could try her with a day trip and see how things go.

Good luck and keep posting.

thank you so much for replying xx

 

[Marysgirl]

My mother and mother in law both have vascular dementia and it tends to go in steps. I’ve certainly noticed with MiL that she did seem to improve slightly after any incident that her knocked her back, but not to the level she was previously. Now might be the time to start thinking about getting more support in for your mum.

Thank you - we have carers coming in 4 times a day just now and hoping we can keep her at home for as long as possible

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Marysgirl

I do hope your mother eventually settles after the confusion of a hospital stay.

We are all out of our depth when dealing with an illness like dementia, which is so different in everyone and so difficult to understand. This is especially true of seemingly rapid downturns.

What I would like to suggest is if your mother does rally and you feel she is well enough to for a stay at your caravan, you don`t go away with her alone. It`s too big a responsibility for a single carer. Your mum could become disorientated and confused simply by the change of scene.