Our magic bitter sweet moments 🥰🥰🥰

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
953
0
Lincolnshire
Hugs, tears, and my condolences. I will miss reading about your adventures with your Mum, and I am nowwishing you some wonderful new adventures. You are right, it is comforting to know our Mums can now be themselves again, but doesn’t stop us missing them.
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
7,025
0
I am so sorry to read about the passing of your mum, but so pleased that it was peaceful. Your mum is a rest now and with your dad.
Your love for your mum shone through your posts and reading about both of your adventures was a joy.
Take care and look after yourself now. xx
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,706
0
Surrey
Thank you all for such lovely words 🥰🥰🥰 This is such a special safe place for us to offload.

I had originally thought I would close this thread and start a new one for Life After, but I have had a change of mind. I only started my diary last year well into caring. For my own sense of reflection….and I hope helpful and interesting to read, I am going to try and weave into my future adventures some of the past. Caring has so changed me so it would be wrong in mind not to keep it linked here.

The last few days I have been physically tired but actually very peaceful. It does feel a weight has been lifted. Yesterday we started clearing her room and tomorrow visit the funeral directors. No appointments at the registrar until next week.

Popped into the care home tonight briefly for myself…..I wanted to see some of the night staff. There’s a different, more relaxed vibe in the evenings once any sundowning has worn out. Lovely to see the familiar faces sat eating sandwiches and actually lovely to chat with them. Being completely oblivious to our situation means there’s none of the having to be polite and have awkward moments!

A glam pic of mum for you to enjoy ..probably around the time of her Malaysian adventures.
 

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jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
25,684
0
Southampton
Thank you all for such lovely words 🥰🥰🥰 This is such a special safe place for us to offload.

I had originally thought I would close this thread and start a new one for Life After, but I have had a change of mind. I only started my diary last year well into caring. For my own sense of reflection….and I hope helpful and interesting to read, I am going to try and weave into my future adventures some of the past. Caring has so changed me so it would be wrong in mind not to keep it linked here.

The last few days I have been physically tired but actually very peaceful. It does feel a weight has been lifted. Yesterday we started clearing her room and tomorrow visit the funeral directors. No appointments at the registrar until next week.

Popped into the care home tonight briefly for myself…..I wanted to see some of the night staff. There’s a different, more relaxed vibe in the evenings once any sundowning has worn out. Lovely to see the familiar faces sat eating sandwiches and actually lovely to chat with them. Being completely oblivious to our situation means there’s none of the having to be polite and have awkward moments!

A glam pic of mum for you to enjoy ..probably around the time of her Malaysian adventures.
very glam picture. your mum saw so much
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,706
0
Surrey
I forgot to say I walked past this giant daisy yesterday….thought it was wonderful 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and I have started the big flat clean up 😱😱😱 that will be an adventure for the rest of my lifetime 🙈🙈😝😝 and now I have only added to it with some of the stuff from mum’s room. My sibling gave me a little lecture on it yesterday!
 

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Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
4,359
0
Kent
Lovely happy photo @sdmhred to go with happy memories. In another life, there was a time without dementia.
Yes the dementia and caring changes the carer.
Best wishes.
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
953
0
Lincolnshire
In my experience siblings are very good at giving a much needed lecture which everyone else politely ignores. Sorting very cathartic. Your Mum looks very glamorous. Everyone bothered do much more with their appearance than now, I just tend to throw anything on whereas my Mum ‘matched’ her clothes. Would never have gone out without her earrings/jewellery and hair done . Good memories. So glad you not leaving us, you have do often made me smile.
 

Rachael03

Registered User
Apr 17, 2023
133
0
Cracker photo of your mum...everyone was so effortlessly chic in that generation. That would take 100 takes eith a smartphone now and edits afterwards to get it so good.

Glsd to hear you will be staying on the thread. I have so very much enjoyed rrqding it as I navigate my new role of carer. It has also changed me...in some ways for the better xx
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,706
0
Surrey
Thanks so much for the friendship here. Life will be taking one of its biggest changes and to have constancy and a place to reflect is going to be so helpful I think 🥰🥰🥰

And @Chizz I keep meaning to thank you …when mum moved into her home you told me to design our new life as I wished……everyone else told me what to do, but your post gave me the freedom to do exactly that. And I did. Thank you. I shall endeavour to do that now too…..indeed I need to..I definitely don’t want to go back to my pre covid / caring life.

Today we went to the funeral directors. Of course now overwhelmed with all the arrangements- but pushed it all back a week until 10th July to give some more time. Finished clearing mum’s room, and was pleased that one of the other relatives who is becoming a friend was in so we could swap numbers.

Beginning to re-live the trauma of last wednesday…I turned up just as it was kicking off for her 😢😢 I’ve had some debrief following incidents at work and the theory is to let the images play and play across your mind as this is the brain’s method of processing. The mind will keep doing this until it’s reached it’s peace. Much better than shutting the thoughts down. It’s worked for me in the past so will let them run….

And on a brighter note….how could FB know this is what my place is like 🤣🤣🤣
 

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Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
4,359
0
Kent
Glad @sdmhred to have been of help.
Yes, you have a life. Your choice; it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
Best wishes.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
25,684
0
Southampton
looks good to me!!if only i could get myself up from the floor, the bones dont like it!!!!! ;) :p. glad you decided to stay, made me smile or laugh out loud sometimes with your descriptions.
 

Neveradullday!

Registered User
Oct 12, 2022
3,671
0
England
Very wise advice not to repress the trauma of the other day (if possible of course - if the trauma isn't absolutely overwhelming).
My grandmother (who I was very close to) died from cancer when I was 20. There was a mixture of great sadness but also great relief that her suffering was over. I knew even then to give full range to my emotions and rethinking the horrible events to process them.
 

Alisongs

Registered User
May 17, 2024
713
0
I am inspired by those recording their stories over long term threads. I don’t want to record the horrid side so much but remember those bitter sweet dementia moments that make me smile

Today I have just watched my lovely mum carefully dab her dry pad with the loo paper rather than wipe herself. it was so gentle and carefully done it could only make me smile 🥰🥰

My question though is how do I not lose this thread but be able to come back to it when needed?? I sometimes lose things I want to follow here …
See menu the three little horizontal bars top left. Find threads, your threads, threads with your posts or use search
 

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