Just wanted to share with you something that happened yesterday, as I'm still quite upset/annoyed by it.
My Mum and Dad have cared for my Nan (my Mum's Mum) in our home now for about eight years, and lately we have noticed her behaviour deteriorate a little again, which is always upsetting.
My Mum's brother (who has never lifted a finger to help) came to visit yesterday, whilst my parents were out, and then continued to tell my Mum how my Nan made drinks for them etc (when my Nan would really struggle to do this).
To cut a long story short (or try to), we had an incident in the week where my Nan tried to make drinks for people - we were not aware of this until I discovered her repeatedly sipping the tea she was stirring from the teaspoon before stirring the drinks again.
In what I think was an attempt to gain some emotion from her Brother (my uncle), my Mum e-mailed him to explain the deterioration in my Nan. My Uncle then replied in his normal patronising tone that this was to be expected of the disease, and that this did not bother him a great deal as he as had previous experience of the disease with other people!
This upset my Mum a great deal, as she felt he was patronising us, and implying that we're not dealing with my Nan very well. He also had never ever cared for anyone - not even his own children.
I was so annoyed that I began typing a reply to him - just to make myself feel better and not really thinking about sending it, but in the end I did just that, and now I'm not sure what to expect back from him.
Has anyone else any experiences like this, and how do you/did you cope with it? My Mum feels like she's on her own with this - with my Nan getting worse and my parents still working full-time, I think she's near breaking point with the guilt of my Nan being at home all day without any care.
xx
My Mum and Dad have cared for my Nan (my Mum's Mum) in our home now for about eight years, and lately we have noticed her behaviour deteriorate a little again, which is always upsetting.
My Mum's brother (who has never lifted a finger to help) came to visit yesterday, whilst my parents were out, and then continued to tell my Mum how my Nan made drinks for them etc (when my Nan would really struggle to do this).
To cut a long story short (or try to), we had an incident in the week where my Nan tried to make drinks for people - we were not aware of this until I discovered her repeatedly sipping the tea she was stirring from the teaspoon before stirring the drinks again.
In what I think was an attempt to gain some emotion from her Brother (my uncle), my Mum e-mailed him to explain the deterioration in my Nan. My Uncle then replied in his normal patronising tone that this was to be expected of the disease, and that this did not bother him a great deal as he as had previous experience of the disease with other people!
This upset my Mum a great deal, as she felt he was patronising us, and implying that we're not dealing with my Nan very well. He also had never ever cared for anyone - not even his own children.
I was so annoyed that I began typing a reply to him - just to make myself feel better and not really thinking about sending it, but in the end I did just that, and now I'm not sure what to expect back from him.
Has anyone else any experiences like this, and how do you/did you cope with it? My Mum feels like she's on her own with this - with my Nan getting worse and my parents still working full-time, I think she's near breaking point with the guilt of my Nan being at home all day without any care.
xx