1. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    Thanks for all the kind reply's, first we are both only children and have no children. Second my wife has always believed she is psychic and can talk to spirits. Third when I met my wife she would talk about girlfriends but i never met any and since we were married she has never really had any long term friends and has discouraged me meeting old friends so we are now quite isolated.
    One thing I am thinking about is she has had three UTI's in the last three months, the last time the GP mentioned low estrogen level can cause this, when i looked up low estrogen on doctor google it mentions confusion and mood swings as symptoms, when my wife was about 28 we took her to a psychiatrist because of her huge mood swings, he found nothing wrong but suggested hormones but was unable to take blood to check.
    The last few days have had terrible mornings with her but by afternoon she cheers up and we go out, she remembers things from yesterday but not what she just bought in the supermarket.
    As to talking to the GP as I mentioned before I did see the senior partner and told him about her and that is probably why the young GP gave her the memory test, If she won't agree to go to the memory clinic the GP can't force her, same with this appointment for a head scan if I bring it up tomorrow she will probably go mad at me so do I just cancel it?
     
  2. SaraKate

    SaraKate Registered User

    Dec 29, 2018
    47
    I am so sorry for the hard time you are having. My OH has not such extreme symptoms of impairment but is very moody also, and completely denies that there is anything wrong. Do keep a diary that you can show to the GP or neurologist (if you get to see one) and do try to take her for a brain scan. Most people on this site recommend 'loving lies' in order to get patients into treatment or testing. Can you say you are worried about your memory and you'd like to do the tests together? Also try to make sure you look after yourself. This is a terrible disease which ruins two lives for every patient. Keep asking the GP for help and help from related services, and give yourself an afternoon off now and then. And good luck. Keep us posted.
     
  3. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    OK as I suspected she refused to go for the scan, I tried telling her it was to help with her poor walking but she now thinks I am trying to scam her into leaving so I can get one of these imaginary women.
    On top of this she got another UTI, I got a urine sample from her and took it to the surgery, they were good sending a prescription to the pharmacy in three hours.
    I gave her one antibiotic about 4pm, they are two per day so next one is in the morning but she demanded she keeps the tablets as she is totally aware of when to take them.
    She has been in a nasty mood all day and this does not make for good feelings on y part, I know it is the dementia but she can say very nasty things.
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,266
    Female
    South coast
    UTIs cause havoc in people with dementia, usually making the symptoms much worse.
    Did she have the UTI when she was supposed to go for the scan? If so, this wouldnt have helped. You could try again and just not tell her about the appointment until you are there - gives her less time to object. I didnt tell mum about her appointments - I said we were going for coffee and cake, which we did, after the appointment.
     
  5. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    tonight she had a slight fall in the house, landed on the floor and unable to get up, called 111 and got an ambulance in 2hours. The senior paramedic wanted to take an ecg but she refused, he then thought her refusal was not logical and he thought she looked distant and wanted to take her to hospital. I told him about the UTI and he said it could make her unstable and asked if she had dementia and I said yes but not fully diagnosed. In the end he left her in my care and to call the GP in 12 hours but she dont like that, if he can notice it in a short visit how come the GP can't
     
  6. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    Three days in a row she has been in a bad mood, managed to get her to come out in the car on Saturday but said she was very tired then in the evening she began shouting about the people who were in the house when we moved in and a woman who was in her room trying to steal her rings.
    I'm afraid i lost it telling her there was no one like that, today she remembered that I had said that to her and she was in a bad mood all day saying she will go to the police tomorrow to tell them about people trying to steal things.
    I know it's not the right thing to do but listening to being abused for hours on end I need to reply, I do not know how she can speak for so long without having a sore throat
     
  7. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,266
    Female
    South coast
    Im wondering whether the UTI has actually gone or if it is still there.
     
  8. Imstressedout

    Imstressedout Registered User

    Jun 6, 2019
    30
  9. Agzy

    Agzy Registered User

    Nov 16, 2016
    840
    Moreton, Wirral. UK.
    Amazing how contrariness seems to be the norm but when the tempers go with them life can be anything but ‘normal’.
     
  10. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    life has a new normal, in the morning she is very angry talking about divorce and going to the cops about the people that were in the house. By about 2pm i can get her to agree to some lunch and go out to the ,shops, she then picks up saying some loving things, she picks food and I put half of it back later before paying. at dinner she begins muttering making herself angry then go's to bed still muttering about me.
    I know it will be the same tomorrow but one more thing, I notice her hand is shaking when pouring out a drink into a glass or cup, is this another step?
     
  11. Imstressedout

    Imstressedout Registered User

    Jun 6, 2019
    30
    My dad’s hand trembles sometimes too. For him I think it’s a side effect of the multitude of meds.
     
  12. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    Worse today, did the usual bad morning came out with me at 3.0pm, was ok until shopping in M&S she could not decide what to eat, in the end pasta was chosen then she went silent on the way home. She ate some garlic bread but when I brought the pasta she refused it but accepted ice cream later then began ranting about strange people who were in the house.
    Do not know now how I will get her diagnosed. think I will be dealing with this on my own.
     
  13. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,266
    Female
    South coast
    Make sure that the GP knows what is happening. Book an appointment to see him/her or write a letter explaining all the problems and your concerns. Make sure s/he knows that things are progressing.
    Eventually dementia becomes obvious to everyone.
     
  14. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    Another UYI, got the sample in on Monday and the GP sent prescription to Boots in time to collect it. Tuesday started well but she became angry same the rest of the week, angry in the morning so I go out and return about 3pm when she will come out with me, tonight just after dinner she became angry again and started shouting about the people who were in the house, if I tell her there were no people she gets more angry, now I think she believes that these people are being brought in by me to get her to leave, I know it's an hallucination but how to get her out of it?
    I always thought I was strong emotionally but I am feeling worn down especially when she accuses me of being gay (she is very homophobic and rants about them all going to hell)
    Sometimes I wish she would get worse faster so people would see how poorly she is
     
  15. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    Still getting worse, last night I was not well so did not sleep much and finally got up late feeling ill, mentioned it to her to get the response it was my own fault because of how I treat her.
    In the end about 1pm I go out for a couple of hours as she is still abusing me, when I returned she is still in a bad mood, I ask her to come out with me and she refuses, I almost go out again but wait a few minutes and ask again and she is like a different person and comes out, we go to M&S and she fills the trolley with things we don't need but I say nothing, let her go to sit outside and I put back most of the wrong items pay and take her to the car, she say's it's busy for Sunday and I tell her it's Wednesday, this goes on all the way home and even in home I give her the local paper and say look at the date, 2 minutes later she is talking about Sunday again.
    It just felt worse as I was feeling poorly.
     
  16. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,168
    Merseyside
  17. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    79
     
  18. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    79
    Hi.. I know just how you feel.. My husband has lewy body dementia and hallucinations on and off all day.. People in the house.. This morning he said ', I know this house is a drop in center'.. This I can cope with.. but sometimes hhe thinks they are going to harm me. Or I'm plotting with them and gets angry with me.. Then I struggle with how to deal with it.. Its so hard.. I totally understand what you're going through.. Just remember it's the illness not the person.. Hope you find the support helpful..
     
  19. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    A new stage, the same angry morning, accepts lunch and we go out. She is quite happy, do the shopping go home I make dinner and she likes it but then i serve dessert and she gets angry starting to go on about the people in the house and that i am trying to get rid of her.
    She then goes out to the small room, takes the phone and makes a call, a later check shows she called 101. I hear some of what she says mainly about people in the house stealing her rings, she was on about 20 minutes, some of the answers were about where she could go to if she left.
    She then entered the lounge, got her handbag and left to go to bed without speaking
     
  20. dogdayafternoon

    dogdayafternoon Registered User

    Dec 30, 2017
    55
    One hour later the doorbell rang and the police called, two officers one spoke to my wife and the other spoke to me in another room, I explained she had refused memory checks and a brain scan and I think the officer understood and they left.
    Next day the adult help line called by phone but as my wife was listening I just answered yes or no.
    Later she just said she had not thought they would come out to the house
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.