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Other symptoms

SaraKate

Registered User
Dec 29, 2018
49
I am so sorry for the hard time you are having. My OH has not such extreme symptoms of impairment but is very moody also, and completely denies that there is anything wrong. Do keep a diary that you can show to the GP or neurologist (if you get to see one) and do try to take her for a brain scan. Most people on this site recommend 'loving lies' in order to get patients into treatment or testing. Can you say you are worried about your memory and you'd like to do the tests together? Also try to make sure you look after yourself. This is a terrible disease which ruins two lives for every patient. Keep asking the GP for help and help from related services, and give yourself an afternoon off now and then. And good luck. Keep us posted.
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
OK as I suspected she refused to go for the scan, I tried telling her it was to help with her poor walking but she now thinks I am trying to scam her into leaving so I can get one of these imaginary women.
On top of this she got another UTI, I got a urine sample from her and took it to the surgery, they were good sending a prescription to the pharmacy in three hours.
I gave her one antibiotic about 4pm, they are two per day so next one is in the morning but she demanded she keeps the tablets as she is totally aware of when to take them.
She has been in a nasty mood all day and this does not make for good feelings on y part, I know it is the dementia but she can say very nasty things.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,907
South coast
UTIs cause havoc in people with dementia, usually making the symptoms much worse.
Did she have the UTI when she was supposed to go for the scan? If so, this wouldnt have helped. You could try again and just not tell her about the appointment until you are there - gives her less time to object. I didnt tell mum about her appointments - I said we were going for coffee and cake, which we did, after the appointment.
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
tonight she had a slight fall in the house, landed on the floor and unable to get up, called 111 and got an ambulance in 2hours. The senior paramedic wanted to take an ecg but she refused, he then thought her refusal was not logical and he thought she looked distant and wanted to take her to hospital. I told him about the UTI and he said it could make her unstable and asked if she had dementia and I said yes but not fully diagnosed. In the end he left her in my care and to call the GP in 12 hours but she dont like that, if he can notice it in a short visit how come the GP can't
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
Three days in a row she has been in a bad mood, managed to get her to come out in the car on Saturday but said she was very tired then in the evening she began shouting about the people who were in the house when we moved in and a woman who was in her room trying to steal her rings.
I'm afraid i lost it telling her there was no one like that, today she remembered that I had said that to her and she was in a bad mood all day saying she will go to the police tomorrow to tell them about people trying to steal things.
I know it's not the right thing to do but listening to being abused for hours on end I need to reply, I do not know how she can speak for so long without having a sore throat
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,444
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
OK as I suspected she refused to go for the scan, I tried telling her it was to help with her poor walking but she now thinks I am trying to scam her into leaving so I can get one of these imaginary women.
On top of this she got another UTI, I got a urine sample from her and took it to the surgery, they were good sending a prescription to the pharmacy in three hours.
I gave her one antibiotic about 4pm, they are two per day so next one is in the morning but she demanded she keeps the tablets as she is totally aware of when to take them.
She has been in a nasty mood all day and this does not make for good feelings on y part, I know it is the dementia but she can say very nasty things.
Amazing how contrariness seems to be the norm but when the tempers go with them life can be anything but ‘normal’.
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
life has a new normal, in the morning she is very angry talking about divorce and going to the cops about the people that were in the house. By about 2pm i can get her to agree to some lunch and go out to the ,shops, she then picks up saying some loving things, she picks food and I put half of it back later before paying. at dinner she begins muttering making herself angry then go's to bed still muttering about me.
I know it will be the same tomorrow but one more thing, I notice her hand is shaking when pouring out a drink into a glass or cup, is this another step?
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
Worse today, did the usual bad morning came out with me at 3.0pm, was ok until shopping in M&S she could not decide what to eat, in the end pasta was chosen then she went silent on the way home. She ate some garlic bread but when I brought the pasta she refused it but accepted ice cream later then began ranting about strange people who were in the house.
Do not know now how I will get her diagnosed. think I will be dealing with this on my own.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,907
South coast
Make sure that the GP knows what is happening. Book an appointment to see him/her or write a letter explaining all the problems and your concerns. Make sure s/he knows that things are progressing.
Eventually dementia becomes obvious to everyone.
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
Another UYI, got the sample in on Monday and the GP sent prescription to Boots in time to collect it. Tuesday started well but she became angry same the rest of the week, angry in the morning so I go out and return about 3pm when she will come out with me, tonight just after dinner she became angry again and started shouting about the people who were in the house, if I tell her there were no people she gets more angry, now I think she believes that these people are being brought in by me to get her to leave, I know it's an hallucination but how to get her out of it?
I always thought I was strong emotionally but I am feeling worn down especially when she accuses me of being gay (she is very homophobic and rants about them all going to hell)
Sometimes I wish she would get worse faster so people would see how poorly she is
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
Still getting worse, last night I was not well so did not sleep much and finally got up late feeling ill, mentioned it to her to get the response it was my own fault because of how I treat her.
In the end about 1pm I go out for a couple of hours as she is still abusing me, when I returned she is still in a bad mood, I ask her to come out with me and she refuses, I almost go out again but wait a few minutes and ask again and she is like a different person and comes out, we go to M&S and she fills the trolley with things we don't need but I say nothing, let her go to sit outside and I put back most of the wrong items pay and take her to the car, she say's it's busy for Sunday and I tell her it's Wednesday, this goes on all the way home and even in home I give her the local paper and say look at the date, 2 minutes later she is talking about Sunday again.
It just felt worse as I was feeling poorly.
 

Linton

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
154
Still getting worse, last night I was not well so did not sleep much and finally got up late feeling ill, mentioned it to her to get the response it was my own fault because of how I treat her.
In the end about 1pm I go out for a couple of hours as she is still abusing me, when I returned she is still in a bad mood, I ask her to come out with me and she refuses, I almost go out again but wait a few minutes and ask again and she is like a different person and comes out, we go to M&S and she fills the trolley with things we don't need but I say nothing, let her go to sit outside and I put back most of the wrong items pay and take her to the car, she say's it's busy for Sunday and I tell her it's Wednesday, this goes on all the way home and even in home I give her the local paper and say look at the date, 2 minutes later she is talking about Sunday again.
It just felt worse as I was feeling poorly.
 

Linton

Registered User
Jul 27, 2019
154
Hi.. I know just how you feel.. My husband has lewy body dementia and hallucinations on and off all day.. People in the house.. This morning he said ', I know this house is a drop in center'.. This I can cope with.. but sometimes hhe thinks they are going to harm me. Or I'm plotting with them and gets angry with me.. Then I struggle with how to deal with it.. Its so hard.. I totally understand what you're going through.. Just remember it's the illness not the person.. Hope you find the support helpful..
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
A new stage, the same angry morning, accepts lunch and we go out. She is quite happy, do the shopping go home I make dinner and she likes it but then i serve dessert and she gets angry starting to go on about the people in the house and that i am trying to get rid of her.
She then goes out to the small room, takes the phone and makes a call, a later check shows she called 101. I hear some of what she says mainly about people in the house stealing her rings, she was on about 20 minutes, some of the answers were about where she could go to if she left.
She then entered the lounge, got her handbag and left to go to bed without speaking
 

dogdayafternoon

Registered User
Dec 30, 2017
163
One hour later the doorbell rang and the police called, two officers one spoke to my wife and the other spoke to me in another room, I explained she had refused memory checks and a brain scan and I think the officer understood and they left.
Next day the adult help line called by phone but as my wife was listening I just answered yes or no.
Later she just said she had not thought they would come out to the house
 

Guzelle

Registered User
Aug 27, 2016
421
Sheffield
That will be on record now the Police visit. Write everything down and go and see the GP. You both need help. My husband was referred to the adult mental health team. He heard singing and music and if I said I couldn’t hear it he would get angry. He blamed the young man next door and was going to speak to him about it! I did tell the young man but he never spoke to him.

He was prescribed risperidone an antipsychotic drug and the music stopped and he became calmer which was easier for both of us!