So its one year today since my dad passed and I said my last goodbye. I'm struggling to find the right words to explain how I really feel am worrying incase I say the wrong thing. I didn't want the day to go by without mentioning him. I want to remember dad to remember him and the love but I'm not sure I can even think today. It makes me feel bad because surely I should feel something more? I'm just so confused not knowing how to feel I suppose I feel numb? I visited the grave and took flowers just mustered up the energy to go but didn't stay long a quick touch of his plaque and home again. I haven't been sleeping well because I have been thinking of this day maybe I'm just tired? I've just started crying floods of tears maybe this is what I needed at the end of the day.
One Year today
- Thread starter Wildflowerlady
- Start date
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) @Wildflowerlady
You arnt "supposed" to feel any particular way. Feeling numb and tears are all part of grief and its no surprise that today is emotionally hard.
Be gentle with yourself.
You arnt "supposed" to feel any particular way. Feeling numb and tears are all part of grief and its no surprise that today is emotionally hard.
Be gentle with yourself.
I remember the first anniversary of my dads death, it hit me pretty hard & although I was dreading the day I was surprised how much it affected me. It was a sudden death unexpected & i know I was in shock for a while & although i shed some tears at the time it wasn’t really that much. I didn’t cry at his funeral as I suppressed all emotion in order to get through the day. On the first anniversary however it was the complete opposite. It felt like i experienced the day all over again with hour by hour memories replaying in my head. I cried buckets of tears. That was my grief coming out. Since then it’s not been anywhere near as bad.
You didn’t get to grieve properly at the time due to covid plus the added emotional upset you carried due to your sisters callous behaviour towards you.
I would say let the tears flow, let them wash out the upsetting feelings you have & it will help you properly heal. This is probably the worst anniversary to get through.
Sending a big (((hug))).
You didn’t get to grieve properly at the time due to covid plus the added emotional upset you carried due to your sisters callous behaviour towards you.
I would say let the tears flow, let them wash out the upsetting feelings you have & it will help you properly heal. This is probably the worst anniversary to get through.
Sending a big (((hug))).
what ever way you feel is the right way. there are no rules. you remembered your dad in the way you want to. it was complicated by the fact you were so ill afterwards. i think you did your dad proud. take care of yourself.
my sympathy @Wildflowerlady ... that first anniversary is the one which means it's real, dad's not here any more, and it hurts ... that's how I felt, anyway
you can't say the wrong thing here, and whatever, however you feel is right for you
I hope posting and weeping has brought you some relief and comfort
sleep tight
you can't say the wrong thing here, and whatever, however you feel is right for you
I hope posting and weeping has brought you some relief and comfort
sleep tight
Dear @Wildflowerlady ,
I have been thinking of you. One year isn't all that long ago and what with you having Covid and your sister's behaviour you have to be kind to yourself. You remembered your dear dad by visiting his grave but you must do something for yourself. You must do something you enjoy and you must relax. My dad passed away twenty-four hours after being admitted to hospital and although I knew his death would be sudden I didn't realise it would be that sudden and I was in shock for quite a while. I remember planning his first anniversary and I lovely things. However it wasn't easy especially I didn't have support from my invisibles.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
MaNaAk
I have been thinking of you. One year isn't all that long ago and what with you having Covid and your sister's behaviour you have to be kind to yourself. You remembered your dear dad by visiting his grave but you must do something for yourself. You must do something you enjoy and you must relax. My dad passed away twenty-four hours after being admitted to hospital and although I knew his death would be sudden I didn't realise it would be that sudden and I was in shock for quite a while. I remember planning his first anniversary and I lovely things. However it wasn't easy especially I didn't have support from my invisibles.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
MaNaAk
Hello @Wildflowerlady
Whatever you feel on the first anniversary of your dad`s death is normal. There is no handbook for grief, simply because we are all have different ways of reacting and feeling.
The whole of your post tells me you are expecting to feel something significant, something meaningful which you can identify with what seems to be considered as grief.
So
You have not been sleeping.
You don`t want to do or say the wrong thing.
You don`t want the day to go by without mentioning him.
You feel you should feel something more.
You took flowers to his grave.
I think you have done everything possible to acknowledge grief one year after the loss of your dad.
May he rest in peace.
May you be a bit kinder to yourelf.
Whatever you feel on the first anniversary of your dad`s death is normal. There is no handbook for grief, simply because we are all have different ways of reacting and feeling.
The whole of your post tells me you are expecting to feel something significant, something meaningful which you can identify with what seems to be considered as grief.
So
You have not been sleeping.
You don`t want to do or say the wrong thing.
You don`t want the day to go by without mentioning him.
You feel you should feel something more.
You took flowers to his grave.
I think you have done everything possible to acknowledge grief one year after the loss of your dad.
May he rest in peace.
May you be a bit kinder to yourelf.
